My Father Is Ruining Our Lives Over an Affair That Never Happened

After thirty years of marriage, my father kicked my mother out of our home and has left her with nothing. I’m struggling through National Service, but I have to send her money from the little I earn so she can survive. I hate how our lives are breaking apart.

Everything fell apart when we moved to our new house. When we first moved in, he was one of the few people in the neighborhood who came to say hi. His only “crime” was walking into our hall like he owned it. I was a witness; he stood at the door and asked my mother to call my father. I was there when my mom told him that my father does not drink alcohol and could not attend, but he jovially insisted on coming in and went to find my father himself.

It was a get-together they went to; my father returned that day and started throwing accusations around. We didn’t know it would turn into this.

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Meanwhile, my mother rarely even speaks to that man beyond a quick, “How are you and the family?” Nothing more.

He even took my mom to a mallam and, according to him, asked the mallam to work some magic so my mom would admit she slept with the man. That way, my dad could charge the man and get money from him. He found it funny and expected me to take his side, but I refused to lie for him.

We were going round in circles about this matter, and for three months, we didn’t hear of these accusations. I would come home to my parents laughing at their jokes, and for once, it felt like peace had taken a seat in our home. I even became the third wheel, but at least it was for a good cause. For just three months, it lasted—and then it started again.

Accusing my mom of sleeping with that same man even though the man isn’t even in Ghana anymore.

The reason I’m back in this mess is that he’s now accusing me of planning with my mom to poison him. The “poison” he found was actually just medication for an infection my mom had.

He says he saw her put it in his food three months ago, but if he saw it, why did he still eat it? And why is he still alive? He didn’t even know what the medicine was until we looked it up for him, but he insists it’s poison. My dad is an illiterate soldier from the Rawlings era, and somehow he thinks his uniform makes him untouchable.

What do I do? I’m worried about his behavior and the curses he’s going to have those priests lay. My family has turned into something else. My dad has already kicked me out twice: first for not siding with him, and second for reporting him to the police. On days when the quarreling escalated, my father would get physical; this very day, he nearly killed her. So, I reported him to the military police, but they dismissed me and said, “It is a family matter; solve it at home.” I was pregnant at the time, and I lost the baby because of the stress.

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He brags that he’s a soldier, so nothing can touch him. He brings girls home and sleeps with them. I heard he got one of them pregnant and then denied it. Even though I’d like to say it’s not my problem, I had a dream about her. That same woman came to me in a dream after I lost my own pregnancy, and she threatened that I would never give birth. The man who got me pregnant left me for no reason just one week after I miscarried.

What do I do? Do curses work on innocent people? I can promise you on my life that my mom is innocent, and so am I. I feel there’s something behind this—something that transcends the naked eye. Is there something I can do for protection? At this point, I’m tired of God. I need other options.

—Maame

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