My Boyfriend and His Baby Mama Used Me and I Didn’t See It Coming

My boyfriend and his baby mama showed me shege. Whenever I remember how everything happened… mea me tumi hu s3 m’agyimi paa… I know that I am a fool.

I met Emmanuel, also known as Manuel, in 2021 on that blue app called Facebook. He said hi. I responded. If I could turn back the clock? I would have blocked him and hissed at the message. But nooooo, I responded.

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Fast forward, I visited him after six months of talking. I took my time, or? Anyway, six months is enough time to visit someone. Everything was smooth until one day he called to tell me he had gotten someone pregnant and was being forced into marriage. I took the phone from my ear, looked at the name, blinked twice, and put it back to hear what he was saying. I only asked how long he had known the lady. Guess his answer? I was shocked when he said, “Dinah, I’m sorry, I have been with her since UNI.” I didn’t wait for him to continue. I hung up, deleted him, and blocked him.

Then, somewhere around September 2024, this same guy hit me up on Facebook again. And I responded. He was like, “Dinah, I have been trying to reach out to you for years now to explain.” I said, no need, I’m cool! He asked how I was doing, if I had started working, and where I was. I told him, “By God’s Grace I’m working now and I’m somewhere in the Eastern region.”

About a month later, he started making plans to visit me in the East. I didn’t think much of it. Or maybe some pint of love I had for him was still in me. So I allowed him. I gave him directions, and he came.

Immediately he entered my room and saw me; he looked from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet, smiled a half smile, and said, “Eeeiii, you are now a big girl, look at you, you have everything.” Then he looked around the room like some senior on duty checking a dormitory. He told me my things were too much for a lady. He said as a lady working in a different region, I shouldn’t buy lots of things. All I should get is a mattress, a small fridge, and a few clothes. After all that, I told him, “Mr. Man, I have already bought them; there’s nothing to do, and I like how my room looks.” He kept quiet for some time, just looking around.

I asked about his child and the lady. He told me, “Oh, that? It was a lie. The lady lied to me.” I just nodded and said, “Okay.”

Then he started yapping. Or maybe it wasn’t yapping. Maybe it was me thinking that lost love had found me again. He went ahead to tell me he has an eight-month-old child, but they are no longer together with the mum due to certain reasons.

Initially, I didn’t ask for the reasons because I never really cared. He wasn’t my guy. But later I started asking questions because he really wanted to be with me again. This guy told me the lady cheated on him countless times and he had evidence. He played some call records for me to listen. Most of them were awful. The lady was telling another guy he was better in bed than Manuel. I mean, who wouldn’t listen to that voice note and feel sympathy? After listening, I believed him and decided to give it a try.

We started in December. By February, I got to know the said lady stays together with Manuel. How? The lady, Afia, messaged me. She said she’d been seeing my chats with Manuel and wanted me to know they hadn’t broken up, so I should let him be.

I called Manuel immediately to question him. He was like, “Yeah, she is staying with me because I haven’t rented a place for them yet due to high rental prices in Accra, bla bla bla.” Then me, too, foolishly agreed to help him rent a place for the lady. That day, if he could have rolled himself on the road from joy, he would have. He thanked me from morning to evening. “Thank you, thank you, you’re a good woman, thank you.” Oh, and it didn’t stop there. He was telling me how much he loves me. “I love you, I love you so much, more than life itself, more than myself. You’re God’s gift to me,” the whole day.

I was home one Wednesday afternoon when he called to say he had found a room, chamber and hall self-contained. I asked how much he needed to top up, then sent it to him. I didn’t think twice. They say love is blind, but mine was stupidity. Because a few months after the rent, I asked him for 3000 GH to add to my money for a project. He sent it but later asked me to pay back. I did, without complaining.

My company transferred me to Accra. I was so happy because that meant I would be close to him. The long-distance thing was hard. I thought being in Accra meant we would be together a lot. When I would go out with my siblings, I would slip money into his pocket so he could pay. He only paid for outings that were less expensive, while I paid for the expensive ones. I never complained because I was taking almost thrice his salary. I always got him gifts. Agye, a girl in love di3, let me spend on my man.

One day, I went to spend my leave at his place. That was where everything started to reveal itself.

First, I noticed all the shirts and shorts I got for him were nowhere. I asked. His response? “They are in the wardrobe somewhere.” Meanwhile, early that morning I had removed everything from his wardrobe and rearranged them. Oh yes, I forgot to add, I was doing wife material things. So I asked him again. He repeated the same response.

The next day, I saw a children’s iPad and wanted to buy one for his child. I called to inform him. He was like, “Oh, the lady had already bought some for the child.” Later that day, I was cleaning and saw the receipt for the iPad. Do you know the name on the receipt? Emmanuel!

I called him. “Why would you lie about something you bought for your child? How do you think of me? Am I that bad you have to lie about gifting your child?” He said he didn’t know how I would take it because he had been complaining about not having money. I allowed it to slide.

Then I started noticing secret movements. When I visited, he could sit outside for more than two hours. When the lady called, he took the call away. His phone was always on silent. You know that iPhone vibration you don’t even hear when you’re close? That’s what he used.

So I started to ask questions. I was persistent. Until he held his balls, felt they were heavy enough, and told me the truth himself.

“The truth is I am dating both you and Afia, and I have told her I’m dating you both, and she is okay with it.”

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I was so shocked I couldn’t utter a word. I was expecting him to say he was cheating, but not with the same person who cheated on him countless times and threatened him with a knife. I asked him, “So who do you really want to be with?” He tells me both of us. He loves us equally and can’t choose, so I should agree. Just imagine!

That was when I realized I was just a tool for him. I told him I can’t deal with such a relationship, so goodbye. He agreed. The funny part? Afia is the same lady he was dating from his uni days.

I really wish I could pay him back. But for my peace, I prefer to just walk away.

—Dinah

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