In Your Hospitality, Don’t Neglect the Main Course

The Main Thing

As we show hospitality, we need to keep the main thing the main thing—loving Christ ourselves and helping others do the same. Think about Mary and Martha, the two sisters whom Jesus visited in Luke 10. Martha was upset at her sister for being lazy and inconsiderate, just sitting there at Jesus’s feet while Martha was working hard to serve everyone. Martha got annoyed and told Jesus to make Mary get up and help!

But Jesus didn’t rebuke Mary for her lack of hospitality. He rebuked Martha. How many times the Lord could have said the same thing to me: Keri, Keri, “you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary” (Luke 10:41–42). That one thing is learning from Jesus; communing with him—that is the good portion that will not be taken away. Martha missed the importance of keeping Christ at the center of her affections, even as she “welcomed [Jesus] into her house” (Luke 10:38). Sometimes I miss it too. I get caught up in what I’m doing and forget who I’m doing it with and doing it for.

When we welcome people into our homes, cars, or local cafés, we need to keep the main thing the main thing. Practice hospitality for the sake of pointing others to Jesus. Hospitality that doesn’t focus on building relationships and pointing others to Christ is like serving a meal without the main course.

Have you ever been to someone’s house only to find the hosts so busy in the kitchen or so focused on their kids that you were unable to have a conversation with your host or hostess? I’ve been there as a guest; it can make you feel uncomfortable, even invisible. I’ve also been there as a hostess. I found that simplifying our meals and putting on a video for the kids after dinner frees us up to have focused, meaningful conversations with our guests. If you have little ones, get advice and ideas from other parents about how to shepherd your children while also having guests in your home. You might want to invite another family in the same stage of life, so the kids can play together, or you may need to schedule coffee at naptime or dessert after the kids are in bed. Also consider ways you can include your kids in hospitality. Involve them in game nights or help them make dessert for your guests.

Practice hospitality for the sake of pointing others to Jesus.

Of course, there will be times when all our plans go awry. But instead of hiding in another room or giving up, we can admit our weakness and ask for help. Then our guests know we’re not superhuman. One way to love our guests is by showing them that we’re weak sinners just like they are by welcoming them into our mess.

One quick caveat: remember you don’t have to do this alone. Just because you’re the host doesn’t mean you have to be responsible to lead every conversation. Sometimes just opening your home and letting other Christians care for one another is all you need to do. Your hospitality can become a platform for the caring, relational work of other brothers and sisters.

Whether you’re a mom with young children, a student with a lot of studying to do, or a businessman with an intense career, organize your hospitality in a way that enables you to focus on relationships and building others up in Christ.

This article is adapted from How Can I Grow in Hospitality? by Keri Folmar.

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