If a man uses these 8 excuses for his behavior, he’s severely lacking in emotional maturity

If someone’s emotionally immature, they will always come up with an excuse for their behavior, no matter how irrational or out of the pocket.

But far too often, we want to give people the benefit of the doubt.

We want to believe them when they lie because it’s easier than facing reality. We want to perpetuate the lie we’ve been given, to live in delusion for just a little bit longer.

Well, I say it’s time to stop.

It’s time for you to believe people when they show you who they really are underneath all that pretense. It’s time to see their excuses for what they are: excuses and nothing more.

So, without further ado…

If a man uses these 8 excuses for his behavior, he’s severely lacking in emotional maturity. 

You better watch out.

1) “You made me do it!”

Look, you can’t “make” anyone do anything.

Sure, you might do something upsetting that incites them to react in an immature manner. Sure, you might hurt them with your words. Sure, your behavior may feed into their insecurities.

But the fact that you have a role to play in how someone else feels doesn’t mean you’re fully responsible for it. Moreover, it doesn’t mean you are the reason behind their irrational reaction to those emotions.

Everyone is their own governor. If you feel a certain way, your reaction to it is 100% your responsibility – no matter if other people’s behavior has incited you to feel like this.

A man who says that he acts immature because of you or someone else is a man who can’t take accountability for his own actions.

In other words, he’s severely immature.

2) “I was drunk”

So?

An adult man knows how to hold his liquor. He knows what he can take and when he’s crossed the line. He knows how to stop himself before he goes too far because he’s a creature of reason and self-control.

“I was drunk” is never a good enough excuse.

If you cheat when you’re drunk, don’t drink so much.

If you get aggressive when you’re drunk, don’t drink so much.

If you say things you later regret when you’re drunk…

Yep, that’s right.

“I was drunk” may be an explanation, but it’s never an excuse.

3) “I’m a man, so I’m biologically hardwired to act like this”

Next up, we have one of the most common excuses for unfaithfulness, aka, “I’m programmed to procreate a lot, so you shouldn’t blame me for betraying you on a deep level.”

I’m biologically hardwired to eat lots of sugar and fat. The only reason I haven’t yet died from overeating is that I can tell myself to stop doing what isn’t good for me and make better choices.

If you give certain animals really yummy yet unhealthy food, they might gorge on it until exhaustion. But that’s where humans differ.

We have the rational parts of our brains to thank for that.

Want to know what I tell men who use the biology excuse to get away with their impulsive behavior?

Don’t blame your lack of self-control on ideas about biology that you haven’t even properly researched.

4) “That’s just how I am, take it or leave it”

Ugh. I hate this one with passion.

Why?

Because every person’s goal in life is to grow, incorporate new lessons, and change for the better.

If you don’t grow, you’re stagnating, and what use is that?

The happiest of people are always extending their horizons, learning new things about themselves, and working on their weaknesses so that they can reach their highest and most authentic version.

And no, don’t tell me that treating people like rubbish and refusing to take responsibility for that is your most authentic or highest self. Everyone can do so much better than that.

If a man tells you that this is simply who he is and that you can either accept him or leave…

You might want to choose the latter option, not necessarily because of what he did but because his inability to work on himself and change displays a severe lack of maturity.

5) “I forgot”

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes people genuinely do forget stuff. No one’s perfect, after all.

But many emotionally immature men use the memory excuse in order to escape accountability.

How can you blame someone who simply forgot? It’s not their fault that their memory betrayed them. Really, it’s completely unfair to have such high expectations from them, right?

Wrong.

If a man tends to forget a lot, it’s his responsibility to write things down or set up reminders.

Of course, he won’t get it right 100% of the time, and that’s okay. But his faulty memory shouldn’t become such an issue that you’re never sure whether it’s an excuse or the truth.

6) “I think you remember it wrong”

You didn’t think we could go the whole article without mentioning gaslighting, one of the most common manipulation techniques out there, did you?

“You remember it wrong” is a typical gaslighting strategy because it serves to make you doubt your own perception of reality.

What if you really do remember it wrong? And if you do, can you really blame them for something they may not have done or said?

Just like that, everything becomes much more confusing.

If you ever find yourself in such a situation, I want you to remember that you should trust your gut instinct. What’s more, keep in mind that while people do sometimes remember things differently, a man who is absolutely certain your memory is faulty cannot be trusted.

Why?

Because he doesn’t know what’s going on inside your head. 

The fact that he’s so adamant you’re in the wrong about something he can’t possibly know means he may be trying to convince you of a lie so that he can avoid taking accountability.

7) “You’re not perfect, either”

Here’s yet another way to turn things around – excusing his poor behavior on the fact that you’re not perfect, either, and have made mistakes in the past as well.

Men who lack emotional maturity just love to dodge responsibility. So much so, in fact, that they’ll do anything to direct the focus of the conversation away from themselves – even if it means you become the target.

Before you know it, the conversation is about *your* mistakes and imperfections instead of their own.

But don’t forget that you have power, too. You’re one half of the conversation.

If a man tries to stir the discussion in a different direction instead of addressing the real issue, you’re free to call him out on it and continue talking about the problem at hand.

Don’t let yourself get dragged down into his mess.

8) “I was possessed by an evil spirit”

I wish I was making this up.

You wouldn’t believe how many emotionally immature men blame their behavior on external circumstances to the point where they temporarily turn spiritual or religious.

He cheated because he was possessed by an evil spirit. He lied because his alter ego took over. He found himself in a manic episode, and that’s why he told you all those things he most definitely didn’t mean.

It is simply not his fault. Forces greater than we could ever imagine are at play here. It’s all very suss.

Yeah. Don’t fall for it.

The truth of the matter is that an emotionally mature man is more than willing to put his hand up and say, “I made a mistake and I apologize.”

What’s more, he will try his best to change his behavior so that your relationship thrives as a result.

A man who blames his immaturity on evil spirits, you, his friends, faulty memory, or anything that’s portrayed as outside of his control, though…

That’s an emotionally immature man right there.