I Planned an Affair With a Married Woman But Life Had Other Plans

I met her here under the comment section, and we both started building a friendship because we seemed to agree with each other’s opinions on the stories shared here. When we exchanged contacts, she would send the story to me and say, “I’m waiting for your comment.”

I would read and tell her what I thought of the story, and we would discuss. I didn’t know she was married until months later, when we’d talked and I had developed an interest in her, though I was also married. It was on my Facebook profile that I was married, but she didn’t state it anywhere that she was married.

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When we talked about our status as married people, I asked her why she didn’t write it anywhere in her profile that she was married, and she answered, “Years ago, when marriage was good, I had it written everywhere, even on my forehead, that I was married, until it turned abusive and I’d tried to leave on several occasions.”

She asked about me, and I told her marriage had been one way and eventless. I had a wife who wouldn’t go out of her way to spice up the marriage, and the few times I tried, it didn’t yield any results, so we’d been going in circles. She asked if I wanted to have fun, and I answered that I was ready.

We planned to meet out of town one day and spend the weekend together and see what would happen afterward. Days before we met, she had an episode with her husband, and he beat her black and blue. She sent a voice note. She was crying while narrating the story to me. “I don’t think I can come. I don’t want you to see me like this. The face I was coming to show you is gone. I need time to heal.”

She sent me photos. Her lips were swollen, her left eye was bruised, and she had beaten marks on her cheeks. She’s fair, so every mark showed clearly on her skin. I consoled her. I asked why she wasn’t doing anything and told her I could help her leave if she wanted to.

She said the kids were her problem because anytime she’d tried to leave, he used the children as bait to make her stay. Her parents had also given up on her because they warned her about the marriage and she didn’t listen. To be honest, I was traumatized by the pictures she sent. All day I was thinking about her. She sent me a message, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

I’d come to love her. I’d come to see her as a person who would bring her own kind of fun into my boring life, but seeing her abused brought a different level of feelings. A few days later, I told her if she was ready to leave, I would help her. She answered, “If it’s easy, I will listen to you.”

I had a friend who was a police officer. I asked him to help, and he was willing to do it for me. The plan was to use the police to scare her husband into believing that the next time he touched her, she had a police friend to run to. She didn’t buy the idea. She said it would make matters worse.

“Then just run away,” I said. She responded, “That’s exactly what I want to do.”

She enumerated her plans to me. In the plans, she was saving money to rent a new place, and once she was able to get the place, she would quietly leave and never look back. We were supposed to be lovers who were planning to meet and have the moment of our lives, but once that happened and we were not able to meet, everything changed. We talked more about how to help her escape than how to meet and make love.

She was a nurse. She had a joint account with her husband, so most of the money she made went into the joint account. And because he was not taking care of her and the children, she resorted to borrowing to survive. She would ask me for a loan I knew she wouldn’t pay, and I would send her the money. When they fought and she reported to me, I became as aggrieved as if her skin was mine and she was misusing it.

For over a year and a half, we planned to meet but couldn’t. Most often, it was intentional on my part. I wanted her to have her freedom first, or maybe, just maybe, I was afraid her husband would find out about me and turn his attention to me instead.

She called one day and said she was looking for a place. She had saved enough and wanted to secure a place for herself and the kids. I gave her an agent friend to help her get the place.

Later, she called to ask for a top-up. I could feel the zeal in her voice that she really wanted to run. She needed GHC 3,000. I went into my savings and gave the money to my agent friend so he could pay the landlord directly.

She secured the place but was still scared to move. She gave excuses, “What if he ends up finding out where I live?” I answered, “Once you get a new place, start the divorce. You can also secure a police order against him so he doesn’t come close to you. If you need that level of protection, my police friend is available to help.”

She called one late afternoon. We had known each other for two years but hadn’t met physically. She asked, “When are you coming to see where I live?” I asked, “Have you moved?” She answered, “He traveled to his hometown yesterday, so I’ve picked what time would allow me. I will start afresh from here.”

Her husband returned and started throwing threats here and there. I asked her to talk to her parents about it and let them know she had run away from the house because she was no longer interested in the marriage. Once she did that, her parents took over the issue, demanding that her husband produce their daughter since they couldn’t find where she was.

While the drama unfolded, she floated over it. She said her husband called, and for the first time, he was pleading with her to return home. He went to the hospital not to cause chaos but to plead with her to return with the kids. She said, “Everything I’ve been through, if I go back, then I deserve everything that has happened to me.”

I think she’s happy now.

I went in trying to escape from the boredom of my marriage, but in the end, it became more than I bargained for. The emotional attachment shifted from her to her story. If she were my sister, I probably would have jumped into the middle of the fight and fought for her, but she wasn’t, so I had no right to do that. I had become her chief advisor, and the feelings I had for her completely changed. To date, we are yet to meet physically, meanwhile it wouldn’t take me an hour to go to where she lives.

From everything she had been through, I don’t think she still harbors the feelings we initially had. She doesn’t even talk about it. She calls me her soldier and a brother in crime. I think I enjoy that, and I also think my marriage isn’t the worst out there, so I can put in the energy and make it work. It’s a win-win for us both, though the intention was so wrong from the start.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I could have been here sharing the story of how I met a married woman under the comment section and cheated with her, but today, our story is different. Maybe that was how God wanted it, but as human as we were, we tried to complicate things. Thank God we didn’t.

—Amos 

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