I Hate That I Have To See My Ex Everyday With Other Women

When Cosmos first asked me out, I was hesitant. We worked in the same office so I didn’t like the idea. We all enter relationships hoping it will end in a happily ever after but in the event that it doesn’t, what do you do when you have to share the same space with your ex? That’s why I turned him down the first time.

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He was relentless though. He kept talking about how his intentions toward me were honourable. “I won’t do you dirty,” he promised. He would take me to lunch and spend time getting me to open up to him about my life. Before I knew it, my resolve had thawed. I said yes to his proposal, all my what-ifs out of the window.

The red flags started popping up when we had our first fight. Instead of resolving issues peacefully, he blocked me. It took days before he got out of his feelings and began talking to me again. He didn’t explain or apologise for his silence. He just picked up the relationship as if nothing had happened.

I wasn’t happy with his attitude but I considered all the times he was good and decided not to make a big deal out of his behaviour. If only I knew it was just the tip of the iceberg.

Our relationship for over two years followed the tune. He blocked me every single time we fought. Sometimes he was gone for weeks and other times he was gone for months.

I held on because when he was good, he was really good. He could be caring. He could be present. Those moments kept me believing that maybe he just needed time to learn how to love me right.

But this year, things got worse.

A small argument happened not long ago. Nothing serious. But he reacted in a way that shocked me. He denied knowing me to a lady who asked about us. He accused me of things I had never done. Then he blocked me again.

This time, he even went a step further and cut off every way I could reach him. I called him through different means. I sent him several messages but through different avenues but he ignored all of them.

Around the same time, I started hearing stories from other women in the office. They spoke about how he broke their hearts after they got involved with him. I wouldn’t have believed them if I too was not nursing the heartbreak he gave me.

One week after our misunderstanding, I saw him making advances at a new girl in the company. She has been here for less than five months. She is also my junior. I trained her myself.

I confronted him when I saw them together but he denied everything. He said they were not even friends. “Then stay away from her. You are getting a bad reputation in the workplace.”

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He didn’t listen to me. In fact, things got worse. One day, I saw them with my own eyes. They stood close to each other laughing, talking in undertones as if they were lovers. In that moment, my heart dropped.

I broke down. I sent him messages asking why he would do this to me. I expected at least a conversation. Cosmos ignored me completely.

Now we work in the same space, and I have to see him all the time. I watch him chat and laugh with other ladies like I never meant anything to him. I watch him live his life while I’m here trying to hold myself together. It hurts more than I can explain.

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I want to walk away. I want to heal. But how do you heal when the person who hurt you is in your building every day? How do you move on when you can’t avoid seeing him?

I feel foolish for loving him when all the signs were there. This whole thing is breaking me down paa. I just want advice on how to let go of a man who promised me forever, only to jump to another woman after two years. Seeing him every day is so unbearable.

—Cookie 

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