I Cheated on My Abusive Boyfriend, Now He Wants to Leave Me

All through my life, I have been the kind of lover who held on to love even when it was over. It came naturally to me. I always went back.

I’ve been seriously dating Edwin for close to three years now. We’ve grown together, encouraged each other, fallen, risen, and held on to our love.

The constant reason we fought was that he never took me to where he lived. Anytime we wanted to spend time alone, he came to my place. When I asked why, he’d say, “My grandma doesn’t like you. Not you, but where you come from is a problem. So let’s keep this low-key till we figure a way.” It sounded reasonable, so I agreed. Then I spoke to his mom, but we lost contact after a month.

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Edwin looked like a saint on the outside, but on the inside, when it was just me and him, he started growing abusive toward me. He called me names: “evil woman,” “witch,” “greedy.” All this because he found out I was still friends with Benedict, my ex-boyfriend. Benedict was just my friend. We outgrew each other and stayed friends. According to him, that’s why he never trusted me.

Then, I did a grave thing

So, he started dismissing my feelings. He ignored me until it suited him to talk. Every day felt like I was dating my enemy, an enemy who made a conscious effort to see me hurt. I cried to him. I prayed to God to give me patience and capacity, and I apologized for the smallest things, like calling him at a time he felt wasn’t right. I was weak and exhausted from what had become our routine.

One day, we had a huge argument. It triggered me to do one of the many things I had promised myself not to return to. I packed my bags, and I traveled to Kwesi’s place. He was also a friend. I went with the intention to talk to him. He knew men better than I did, could explain why Edwin was doing what he was doing to me. Before I knew it, the night passed, and we ended up sleeping together. I didn’t even realize when it was happening. It just happened.

Guilt ate me up so much I couldn’t sleep or eat until I told him. I told him about my daddy issues. Told him everything.

He wants a breakup, for us to part ways and pretend that we didn’t spend years loving and doting on each other.

I’ve been begging Edwin to forgive me. I didn’t stop loving him when I was in Kwesi’s bed. I was just emotionally exhausted. I needed a place to clear my head because I had been holding too much inside, especially against him. He kept dismissing our troubles even when they were right in front of him.

I know the relationship won’t be the same again, even if he gives us a chance. But I’ll take my chance. And even if we pass this test, what shows that his family will finally get to see past my tribe and accept me as his wife? But, when we get there we will cross the bridge.

I’m sorry for hurting him the way I did, and for hurting the other men I’ve been with. I’ve cheated almost every time I’ve had problems in a relationship, not because I love sex or anything like that, but because I crave the feeling of belonging to someone.

I have daddy issues, and that is why I don’t havr to feel ignored. Otherwise, it triggers the part of me that fears abandonment, and I go back to whoever is available for comfort.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

Edwin, if you read this, know that we have been through the worst and toughest times and always bounced back stronger. Remember our sacrifices. Don’t you remember what we’ve been through? Two terminations. I put my life on the line for you. After everything, surely you can’t just leave me hanging like this.

Please, do think about what it took for us to get here.

Hmm, maybe you can help me apologize to him. He may have a change of heart.

—Sheri

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