How To Behave In Strip Clubs

For some men, hanging out at a strip club or Gentlemen’s Club is seen as a rite of passage. Whether you've never been to a club before or you’re a regular, there are some things that strippers wish you knew before you walk through your next darkened-out door.  The more you know about how to act and what to expect from the other customers, strippers, and bar employees, the better, safer, sexier and more fun your visit can be. And, yes, I speak from experience: I worked as a stripper for half-a-dozen years, from the local dive bar to New York City’s elite Gentlemen’s Clubs, so I offer these tips with great respect to all involved. Strippers Are Human Beings This should go without saying, but it’s an important reminder that is needed. You see a stripper onstage dancing and you may look at her like she’s simply an object of desire. OK — strippers understand that’s what you’re there for: the fantasy. Just be a gentleman and remember she's a person, too. Treat her with the esteem she deserves and that you would expect your own female family members to demand. Speak with respect and be kind and you will probably end up being treated very well in return. Strippers Are Working A lot of times, customers seem to forget that the exotic dancers are at work trying to make a living. While it’s fine for you to feel flattered when a stripper sits with you in between her sets, please remember that she expects for you to tip her. Even if you're just chatting with her, enjoying her company and being friendly, her time is valuable. Be careful not to forget that even though she is showing interest in you, it is most often in a “professional” way. Strippers are expected to mingle and flirt as part of the job, and should be tipped by those customers they choose to spend their time with, even if you don’t purchase a private dance from them. The Drinks Are Expensive For A Reason Expect to pay more for your beer or mixed cocktail and then you won’t be taken by surprise. The same goes for the drinks you offer to buy for a stripper. In fact, some clubs charge more for a drink you buy for a stripper or waitress because they get a cut of each drink you purchase. The worst thing you can do is refuse to pay for a woman’s drink when you hear how much it costs. You're paying not only for the drink, but for the privilege of spending time with the woman. But remember that last tip, and still tip the dancer more when she excuses herself because the amount she gets for the drink is only a few bucks. No One Has Time For Your Drunken Stupidity Yes, you may be at a club celebrating your best friend’s bachelor party or you may be trying to impress a potential client, so you may drink a little too much. You may want to show off or look cool and then you may temporarily lose your normal chivalrous tone. No one has time for that. The strippers surely don’t want to have to deal with you being a jerk, and trust me, if you piss off a stripper, you most likely piss off a bouncer, too. If you know you get stupid when you drink, then set a limit for yourself. You really don’t want to end up on the floor or in jail over drunkenness. Most Strippers Are Not Sex Workers Strippers have a bad reputation that has evolved through movies and television shows and celebrity gossip. Keep in mind is that those are just stories. Not all strippers are sex workers. In fact, most strippers will not have sex with you for money. If you're going to a strip club with the hopes of bringing home a dancer, your chances are slim. I'm just laying it out for you the way it really is. Now, I'm not saying that none of them go home with customers, but the majority don't. So, this if this is your M.O., I recommend that you tread carefully. If you ask a stripper if she will go out with you, please be prepared that the answer will be no. And have respect for her. When she says no, don't harass her. She said no; she means it. Stay Home If You Don't Have Cash Whatever you do, don't go out to a strip club if you don't have cash on you. Yes, some clubs will front you cash for a credit card, but don't count on it. And don't come to a strip club if you're not prepared to pay for entertainment. There are names that strippers call the customers who sit by the stage and watch them closely and don't tip, but I cannot say them in public. As tacky as it is for you to sit at the bar and watch the strippers from afar and not tip them, the worst thing you can do in a strip club is to sit right in front of the stage and not tip them. And just so you know, looking away when they dance right in front of you and thinking that that means you don't have to pay them, does not count. If you're sitting by the stage, you're participating in the entertainment. You're watching her and you need to tip her. Oh, and dollar bills are so 1970s. Inflation should count for something. Always give at least two or three dollars. Don’t Sit Right By The Stage If You’re Not Going To Watch Building off the last tip, it is tacky to sit at a strip club stage and not watch the dancers. It is seen as rude in the dancers’ eyes. It may even be seen as worse than watching and not tipping, if you can believe it. Going back to tip No. 1, strippers are human beings. Just imagine how you would feel if you were standing on a stage half naked and women were sitting in front of you and looking somewhere else. I've even seen customers reading a book or newspaper. Why sit at the stage if you aren't going to watch? The same goes if you're watching sports on the TV above the stage. Don't just sit there, watch the game and scream out things at the TV while the dancer wonders why you're not paying any attention to her. Don't Believe Everything A Stripper Tells You Remember what I said about strippers working? When a stripper is sitting with you and you're asking her questions about her boyfriend or her sex life, don't expect that the answers she supplies are true. Do you really want to know about her great sex life? Well, yes, I suppose a lot of you probably do, but my point is…a stripper's job is to entertain you, draw you in and make you think that you have a chance with her. She may lead you on thinking that she is single when she's not. Why would she do that to you? Especially after you've been so nice to her and been tipping her? Strippers want to make as much money off you as possible. If a stripper is a good salesperson, she may work on convincing you that you have a chance, so that you will give her lots of money. Strip Clubs Are About A Fantasy A strip club owner is relying on you wanting to impress the women on stage. Managers want you to spend lots of money on strippers because the more you spend on them, the more the club makes. While a strip club mimics the adult entertainment world of pornography, it's still isn't about the actual selling of sex. Strip clubs are about selling the possibility, or the fantasy of what you can imagine in your mind about the strippers. It can be hard to remember this when you're drinking or hanging out with friends and having a good time and then you meet a stripper who really seems to like you. Just remember, the actual percentage of strippers who go out with customers on a real date is slim to none. I repeat, strippers are working. They are not there are to make a love connection, so get it out of your mind, and just enjoy the fantasy. Don't Be Offended By Strippers Walking Away From You I've seen too many customers who get seriously offended if a stripper walks away from a conversation. If she thinks you're not going to tip her, she's going to move on. Remember she's there earning a living. Also, if she's called up on stage or taken aside by manager for a private dance, she must go. If you're acting appropriately, her leaving most likely has nothing to do with you. Don't take offense; don't immediately assume she doesn't like you. Don't Try To Save Anybody You may be at a club as a part of a bachelor party and not be somebody who normally wants to be in a strip club. Please be respectful of the people who work there. It's fine to talk to a stripper to ask her about her life, but don’t expect to get a sob story. You don't know her, even if you think all strippers have the same backstory; it’s not true. You don't know what her choices are for working at a strip club. To assume that you know better or that you can save her from herself, is a very sexist idea. She may love her job. She may have chosen this career and be very happy with what she does, so please don't make any assumptions about her morals. Don't Tear Down Your Girlfriend Or Your Wife A lot of times strippers end up playing therapist for customers who are in failing marriages or relationships. Just remember, a stripper (most often) does not have a degree in psychology. She's most likely going to be happy to listen to you and agree with you because she thinks that you're going to be tipping her. Please remember that strippers are women. If you come in and start bad mouthing women in general or even your particular girlfriend, she's not going to think it's funny — even if she laughs. Have some respect for everybody. Strippers Have Bad Days Too Give your local stripper the benefit of the doubt if she seems like she’s in a bad mood. Never call a stripper a derogatory name. If she's not smiling and she is standing on the stage shuffling from heel to heel, be respectful. She may just have had an argument with her boyfriend or she may have a disagreement with the manager. Whatever you do, don't tell her to smile. Don't tell her she would be prettier if she looked happier. How would you feel if you just had an argument with your boss and some woman came up to you and said, why don't you smile? Just. Don't. Do. It. Have Fun After all these tips of warning, I want to leave you with something positive. When you go to a strip club, have fun. Don't take it too seriously. Don't get too stupid. If you're respectful to everybody and come prepared to spend money, you're going to have a good time. And, you know, you could even make a stripper’s day. Compliment her. And I don't mean in a tacky way like, “You've got the best rack I've ever seen.” Yes, some people might see that as a compliment, but you might want to try a little classier line than that. Basically, if you're nice to the strippers, they are going to be nice to you — and everyone can go home their separate ways having had a mutual fun fantasy night. 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