His Mother Was Lying in State When We Did It for the First Time

In October, I started doing a countdown to my birthday on my Facebook status. Each time I checked the number of people who had viewed my status, I saw Amankwah’s name there. We hadn’t spoken to each other since we broke up two years ago. If I say “broke up,” it sounds more dignifying than what actually happened. We didn’t break up. He simply ghosted me until I got the message that he was no longer interested in the relationship.

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He lives in the UK. He came home two years ago for his mother’s funeral. That was when we met. I lived not too far from their house, so I saw him every day, and through that, we became friends. When he needed to buy things for the funeral, he took me with him to help.

I was with him throughout the funeral preparations, and he said I was a good girl and had been very helpful. He introduced me to his other siblings and said, “Barbie has been a great help to me. Had it not been for her, I would have suffered terribly.”

His sister suggested he should marry me. His brother said, “There are a lot of good women like this at home, but you’ll later marry a witch from the UK who will make your life difficult.”

Later he told me, “I think I will have to listen to my siblings. When will you take me home to see your parents?”

When he proposed and I accepted, we agreed to go and see my parents after the funeral. His mom had been laid in state when we had our first intimacy. At dawn, after he had cried all night, he told me, “Give me comfort, I’m dying.” We did it again and again until morning.

In my mind, I’d found my husband, the one whose rib was used to mold me. I called my parents and told them about him. I asked them to get ready for our arrival. A few days after the funeral, he said, “I’ve had an emergency call from the UK and have to go back.”

That was the last time I saw him or had a meaningful conversation with him. He got to the UK and didn’t bother about me again. I didn’t have his UK number. His siblings, who had been loudly convincing him to marry me, refused to give me his number when I asked them.

I sent messages every day on Facebook, but Amankwah read them and ignored them. This continued until I started seeing him watching my status. Three days before my birthday, I posted a photo and said, “Get your gift ready; I don’t want the ‘the queen was born today’ messages.”

He responded with a laughing emoji and said, “We’ve heard you. We know you deserve better, so we’ll give you good things.”

I read it and didn’t respond. On my birthday, I received GHC 5,000 from him. I was shocked. He later sent me a message: “You deserve better in life. Happy birthday.” I said, “Thank you for everything.”

It ended there, but three days later, he came again trying to have a conversation. I played nice and we went on and on. After that, I received GHC 2,000 from him again. He said, “Thanks for forgiving me.” I only laughed and said in my head, *“If you keep them coming, I will have nothing against you.”*

So whenever he called, we talked nicely. He called one day on video and we talked for over thirty minutes. He couldn’t stop talking about my body and how I’d grown nicely, and how the devil had closed his mind to good things like me. I smiled and went along with it. When he said my skin was looking good, I told him, “My cream is finished, ooo.”

After the conversation, I received GHC 1,000. He said, “Buy yourself a new cream. I want to come and see your skin radiating.” I asked, “Are you coming anytime soon?” He responded quickly, “Oh yeah, I’m coming home this Christmas.” I screamed in my head, *“I knew it! All this wouldn’t be for nothing.”*

He says he’s bringing me a phone. He’s even asked me to choose the kind of phone I want. He’s asked me to send him a list of things I want for Christmas. He says he’s doing all that as a way of saying sorry for his bad behavior. I only smile and say, “Oh, don’t worry. It’s fine.”

He will come and meet me here. I was raised a fool who doesn’t know what heartbreak is, so I will lie like a lamb at his feet and watch him sacrifice me this Christmas.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

Let me use this opportunity to remind the sisterhood that Christmas is coming and THEY are also coming. You know them. Those who will come to look for a wife and those who will see you today and call you ‘wifey’ tomorrow. The season is here, sisters! Be vigilant and don’t forget to attend the sisterhood meetings daily. Else, you won’t get all the memos.

—Barbie

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