He Had A One-Night Stand And Ended Up With A Child

I’m currently seeing Matt, a guy who has a child. He says he has never been married. One day he had a one-night stand with a lady. A few weeks later, she showed up that she was pregnant. It was only a few minutes of pleasure but it ended up binding them together.

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When I asked if there was a possibility that he would marry the lady, he said his family wouldn’t have it. The child is currently two years old. “What I want now is a woman I can share my life with. I am ready to go all in, commitment and all.”

He seems good on paper but I have reservations because of his child. So while I was in the talking stage with him I was talking to another Jones. Jones was actually in the picture before I met Matt. The only difference was that I never met Jones in person.

We’ve only seen each other’s pictures and had video calls. Every time we talked he would ask, “So when will you invite me over to know where you live? You can also visit me if you prefer that.”

I wanted to meet him but I didn’t want our first meeting to be in either of our homes so I always gave him excuses whenever he asked when we would see each other.

One night Jones wanted to talk to me but I was unavailable. I was busy making dinner when he texted me. I found a chain of messages on my phone when I finished. The last one was in anger because his earlier messages didn’t get a response.

“You think I’m craving for attention? Fine!” That’s what he said. What did he mean by that? Was I supposed to hold my phone in my hand 24/7 for his sake? I decided to give him a piece of my mind.

“Are you expecting me to be online whenever you want even if it doesn’t favour me? What kind of entitlement is that?”

He read my message but he didn’t. I also decided to leave him alone. I felt he would have been a less complicated choice but I was taking things slow considering we hadn’t met in person yet. Sometimes online connections can be great but when you finally spend physical time together, you will realise that the connection is not there. That’s why I was taking my time with him but it didn’t work out. So now the only man in my life is Matt.

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I am not in love with him yet but I like him. I love the consistency I am seeing so far. Unlike in my previous experiences, I don’t have to beg him for communication. He is not stingy with information. He tells me where he is and what he is doing at all times. He also talks about important issues going on in his life. I like that about him.

So far things are flowing effortlessly. I know that if we keep at it, I will eventually fall in love with him.

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The only reason I am holding back right now is that he has a child. He has told me his side of the story. It sounds reasonable as to why he didn’t marry the lady. But what if there is more to it than I have been told? The last thing I want is to get entangled in a baby mama drama all because of love.

I just want to know what I can do to be sure his baby mama won’t be a problem. He seems like a good guy and I want to give him a chance. I hope I won’t be making a mistake if I do.

—Sima

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