From brokenness to beauty: How singer-songwriter Jana Alayra found hope after heartbreak

Her songs have filled countless churches, camps and classrooms.

Yet behind the bright melodies and radiant smile of Christian musician Jana Alayra lies a story marked by betrayal and loss. 

Sitting down with Salt&Light, Jana shares how God transformed her deepest pain into a testimony of purpose.

Jana was in Singapore last year for a Praise & Worship Conference at Paya Lebar Methodist Church and concerts at various churches.

SALT&LIGHT: Your story begins with what looked like a picture-perfect life. What was that season like for you?

JANA ALAYRA: In my 20s, my life looked perfect on the outside. I was married to a Pastor in Southern California whom many revered.

Jana with her firstborn Haley in 1990.

We had a house, a little daughter and even a Golden Retriever. My husband and I were also part of a band, making music together.

Everything looked perfect and sleek, but I had no idea he was cheating on me and living a double life.

That must have been devastating. How did you find out?

I was seven months pregnant with our second child when one day he came home and said: “I don’t love you. I’ve never loved you. I’m out.”

It was such a shock and a world-altering experience. It felt like someone took my life, shook it, turned it upside down and dumped it on the floor.

I had to sell the house I loved, give away our dog and leave a church that felt like home.

Jana with her first child Haley (left) and second child Lynnie (right).

What was your journey towards healing like?

There was just so much drama that I went off to another church where I knew that the worship was wonderful and I could be alone. I knew that was my place of comfort – to worship the Lord.

I would just be crying in that back row, holding this new baby and thinking ‘Oh, this is such a mess.’ But week after week, this particular worship leader would put his fingers on the keyboards, and the way he played was so anointed.

I would start from “Woe is me!” but I would listen to the words of those songs, worship the Lord and everything would change. I would walk out with my head held high.

In my brokenness, I would just feel Him lift my head. And that’s all I needed – although I had no idea how this was going to work out.

Worship clearly played a huge role in your life. How did your love for music begin?

I wasn’t raised in a musical family. But when I was 10 years old, I found a guitar in the back of my mother’s closet, started fiddling around and learned to play. After becoming a Christian at the age of 16, I also fell in love with worship.

In the summer of 1984, Jana found that she enjoyed being the “Music Mama” to children.

It was later while working at a Christian camp called Forest Home that I discovered how much I loved singing with children. I was hired as what they called the “Music Mama”.

I carried my guitar around and sang songs with children, and I loved it and connected with them. It was there I realised that I had a God-given gift.

You eventually performed with Christian children’s artiste Mary Rice Hopkins and wrote your own songs. How did that happen?

I met Mary at Forest Home and performed alongside her for six wonderful years. During that time, I also started writing Christian music for adults.

My second CD of Christian praise music, Here In Your Hands, had actually just been released when my first marriage ended.

Jana (on the guitar) performing with her band in 1992.

Looking back on that difficult time in your life, what lessons have you learned?

I learned the power of forgiveness. It took me some time to forgive my ex-husband, but when I realised that we are all sinners – not one of us is sinless – and that Jesus forgives all of us, it was easier to forgive.

When we hold on to unforgiveness, it’s like drinking our own poison, right? It holds you. So Jesus says: “Let me have that.” I experienced the freedom of forgiveness.

Was there anything else you learned during that season of brokenness?

I also learned a lot about leaning on other people. God surrounded me with a community of mothers who were there for me.

They brought food, cleaned my house … You know who your true friends are when they have seen you as a wreck. I even have a song that I wrote for my friends who lifted me up during that time.

What a beautiful thing to experience friendship like that: Where you laugh, you cry, you pray, you hope together. God gives us the power of fellowship and opportunity to be there for one another, to bear up each other’s burdens.

Jana (centre) continued to worship with her band members during that difficult season.

The friends from my band also became a source of support. My ex-husband left the band, but the rest of us would worship God together – those were times of refreshment and joy.

After some time, God also brought someone new into your life. How did you meet Ron?

Ron was the drummer in my band and, one day, he offered to fix my car because he was a mechanic. Over time, the friendship deepened and we started to fall in love.  

I had a four-year-old (Haley) and a two-year-old (Lynnie) when I married Ron, and he was this quintessential bachelor.

Ron and Jana tied the knot in 1994.

Everything he had was black – his car, his house – and then we came in with our Fisher-Price toys. He was a brave guy to marry a woman with two little kids.

Then Ron also said: “Let’s have more.” That’s when we had Brittany and Chandy.

God gave me a new chapter, and that doesn’t always happen for people. That was certainly a blessing for me – this second chapter that we’re on and all that God has done.

The Alayras celebrating Christmas in 1995.

You’re now best known for your children’s praise music. How did that focus begin?

Before I knew Ron, I was only leading grown-up worship, so I was very familiar with writing music for adults. But when Ron and I were newly married, I was asked to write a song for a Vacation Bible School. “I Will Fight This Fight” fell together in 15 minutes!

It came so naturally to take Scripture and turn it into a song that a child could sing easily. I guess I have this knack, this desire or this need to make it visual with the kids, and to get them engaged and involved. It’s something that God has put in me.

We also didn’t know it then, but Ron was a fantastic producer. When he started producing music, it was just so good, catchy and timeless. He’s very gifted. We were also blessed with really great musicians who contributed so much life and flavour to every song.

This was taken at the first camp that Jana played her children’s songs at.

Your breakout song “Jump Into The Light” has become a classic. How did it come about?

One week, I was in church and listening to this teaching on how Jesus is the Light of the World. I was so captivated by this truth that I grabbed the offering envelope from the back of the chair and just started writing.

Jump, jump, jump into the light, light, light
Run, run, run away from what’s not right
Jump, jump, jump out of the dark, dark, dark
Run to Jesus and give Him your heart
He is the Light!

I thought: What would I want to say to a kid about what I’m hearing right now? His message was very thick and full of theology, but I just squished it into these kiddish terms.

I raced home, showed it to Ron and he started playing with it. Our band members added a little bit of this and that too. This is the song that we’re still best known for today.

Then it just became one song after the other. God would give me these songs very, very quickly. Once we made that our first album Jump Into The Light, there was a surge of support for our ministry.

Jana practising with her band in the early years.

But tragedy struck soon after. Can you share what happened?

Yes, Jump Into The Light had just come out, and Saddleback Church had invited us to do a concert. It was a big honour, so we were very excited.

We had three kids at the time, and I was driving to church with them and our babysitter Denee. There was this really oddly shaped intersection, and I went through a set of lights that I never saw. In the blink of an eye, the best, most exciting day turned into my worst nightmare.

At the scene of the accident, I knew Lynnie (my second child) was gone. Even though I was pleading with the Lord, “Please let her live”, I knew she was gone.

But one of the things that I heard God say in my heart was: “Trust Me. Trust Me, Jana.” And that’s all I knew to do – trust Him.

How did you find the strength to move forward from such loss?

I never dreamed I could go through that and smile again, eat again, live again and breathe again. But I was so thankful that Lynnie was with Jesus. Even now I don’t go very long without thinking about heaven and the fact that He has given us the gift of eternal life.

Though there was lots of pain, lots of heartache, lots of tears in that dark period, it was a strangely beautiful time.

The body of Christ was so powerfully lifting us up in prayer and feeding us. The Word of God also meant so much to me. It was like I could taste it.

I had worship music playing in our house all the time because I just had to wash myself in it. It ministered to my heart so much. The Lord was so sweet in such a painful time.

Is that when you wrote “Rain or Pour”?

Yes, we did cancel events for about six months. I also wasn’t sure if we could still continue our ministry, especially to children who would all remind me of Lynnie.

But one rainy day, I was driving home with my kids after attending a mom’s group. It was raining outside, and we were talking in the van about trusting the Lord. That is when I heard the words to a song. I pulled over, grabbed a napkin and wrote:

Whether it rains, whether it pours
Wherever I go, I will trust you Lord
In the light of day or in the dark of night
I will trust you Lord with all my life
For my hope is where You are

I got home, showed Ron and he took it into the studio and gave it this feel I loved. We just looked at each other and knew something special was happening.

The songs came so quickly that Jana released her second album Dig Down Deep in 1997, the year after the loss of Lynnie.

Then there was another song “Dig Down Deep”. I realised as I was digging into the love of God, I’d never get to the bottom. The more you dig, the more you’ll find.

And then nothing, nothing, “Absolutely Nothin’” can separate us from the love of God through Christ Jesus. All these Scriptures were just coming alive and songs kept coming.

You went on to release more albums and even began speaking. What inspired you to share your story publicly?

After the accident, I had heard that some people in my mom’s group were angry at God that this happened to me because of the trials I had already gone through. So I thought: “I need to go and talk to them and tell them I’m okay.” I could also almost imagine Lynnie in heaven saying: “Mom, this is real! You’ve got to tell them.”

As I shared about the truth of Jesus and what He was doing in my heart, there were tears all around the room. My sister-in-law, who was not a Christian at that time, even came up to me afterwards and she said: “What you have, I want.” She gave her heart to Jesus that day.

Today, Jana not only ministers through music; she also shares her testimony at events around the world, including at women’s conferences and mother’s groups.

God took what looked like a disaster and brought so much beauty, music and ministry, and years following that of more songs and more CDs. These songs are all Lynnie’s legacy. And I imagine her in heaven, cheering us on.

You also managed to minister to children again. How did God open those doors for you?

The album Dig Down Deep fell together very, very quickly and catapulted things. There was also a swell of support for our ministry. People were inviting us to do concerts and large numbers of families were coming to these concerts as well.

Jana performing with children at a concert in 2016.

It was a very well-known story in Orange County. When people saw God lifting us up from such a tragedy, there was sort of a power behind that.

I think people were curious, and seeing God’s goodness in our lives ministered to them. Hearing the real story of the Lord doing something miraculous in a heart encourages people.

Through everything you’ve endured, were you ever angry at God?

No, I never was. Everyone is wired differently in how they respond to trials. Some people shake their fist at God when they go through really dark times and ask “Why? Why? Why?” or get mad at God. That’s just not the way I’m wired.

But I also felt this desperation where I was like: “God, if You’re not who You say You are, what do I have?” Simon Peter, too, had a moment like this when he asked: Where else do I go? Who else has the words of eternal life? No one.

I just threw myself into trusting God – and then I saw His beauty.

Jana and her family. She is also now a grandmother of two.

Were there other specific Scriptures that helped you during that time?

Psalm 139:16 calmed my heart: Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

That verse helped me to, just like a child of God, say: “I don’t understand, but somehow You knew she was only going to be four years old. So, I trust You.”

It stopped me from saying words such as “would have”, “could have” and “should have”, which are a complete waste of time.

You’ve really been through many highs and lows. Is there one thing you’ve learned?

The one thing that will never change in me is my identity. Anything can change. I’m getting old, I’m getting creaky. But I’m still a daughter of the King. That’s what I’ll always be.

To date, Jana has recorded six collections of original children’s praise music and three live concert DVDs.

Everything could be a mess, but I still have the Lord. Sometimes I think that’s the best thing – holding on to Him. When He’s all you have, then you realise He’s all you really need.

It’s beautiful. Intimacy with Christ during dark times is really something else.

Finally, do you have a favourite song out of all that you’ve written?

Kids ask me that question all the time! I really can’t answer, but I can say that the song that has the deepest and significance for me is probably “Rain or Pour”.

Remember when I said I heard the words “Trust Me, Jana” at the scene of the accident? That song says: “I will trust You Lord with all my life.”

“I will trust You Lord”  is sort of the anthem of my life. So when I see and hear people singing it, I find it so meaningful. It also makes me realise how these songs could outlive me.

How wonderful it is – the thought that God gave us these songs and they could keep encouraging the Kingdom after I’ve left, after my days are over. What a joy, what a joy!

Watch Jana’s testimony here.

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