Doctors said she doesn’t have long to live, but he married her anyway because she is “God’s best” for him

They both grew up in church and were aware of each other’s existence. But they were not friends.

Cornelius Wang, then a leader of a teen group at Church of Singapore (Marine Parade), knew of Amanda Lim as the outgoing and “high profile” worship leader in church.

Cornelius (second from left, back row) with his church friends.

Amanda (second from left) growing up in church.

It was in June 2018 that their paths crossed. Amanda joined their church’s annual Bible camp at the very last minute – someone else had dropped out and she was asked if she would like to go.

She agreed, and was made assistant leader to Cornelius, who was the lead facilitator to a teen group at the camp.

Their first meeting at the camp was awkward. Amanda was late and Cornelius was seated right at the end of a large table filled with teenagers. They both had to stretch out their hands to greet each other across the table and introduce themselves. 

Amanda (far left) and Cornelius (centre) with other young adults at the annual bible camp.

During the camp, Cornelius and Amanda spent a lot of time hanging out with each other, together with a small group of other young adults.

First impressions 

“I found her bubbly and talkative,” said Cornelius, now 33. “I knew that she had a heart condition, but that was about it.” 

Amanda, on the other hand, found Cornelius introverted, but noticed that he liked to tease her from time to time.

Once, she and a friend were having a conversation about the way to do quiet time. The friend said that it usually took him half an hour. Out of nowhere, Cornelius piped in to say that quiet time for him could last up to two hours, as he would pray, worship and read the Bible during that time.

“I was like, ‘Serious or not?’” laughed Amanda, now 32. “But it impressed me and he caught my attention.” 

After the church camp, that group of young adults persuaded Cornelius to join a young adult cell group. Although he had been leading a group of teenagers, he did not belong to a cell group of peers.

He decided to join Amanda’s cell group since he already knew several people there.

Amanda, being a core member of the group and having interacted with him during the camp, was tasked to “follow up” with Cornelius, the new member.

As such, she began texting and talking with him frequently. They both loved to talk about God and worship, and they soon discovered a shared passion for playing the guitar. 

Cornelius recalled: “She conversed well and I found her attractive because our values aligned. But I did not have plans to ask her out because I had just gotten to know her not too long ago.”

Unbeknownst to him, Amanda had taken a liking to him because he was godly.

Amanda (in red) and Cornelius (next to her) hanging out with their cell group mates.

As time wore on, Cornelius began to suspect that Amanda was interested in him – she would text him daily even when he didn’t follow up on some conversations. 

One night in October 2018, Cornelius was on lying on his bed pondering this when he suddenly heard God speak.

“I have the best for you” 

“Do you believe that I have the best for you?” God asked him. It came in the form of a thought that was impressed upon his heart.

“Yes, I believe. I want Your best for me. I know You will not shortchange me,” Cornelius responded.

A week or two later, Cornelius was at home when he felt God prompting him about Amanda even when he was not thinking about her.

Unsure whether it was truly from God or from his own thoughts, he ignored the prompting.

The next night, Cornelius was in bed when he felt a strong urge to get up to pray about his friendship with Amanda.

“I tried ignoring it and told God that I really wanted to sleep. But somehow I couldn’t, so I knelt down and prayed,” he told Salt&Light.

“I talked to God about how I wanted His best for me. I said that He would have known that Amanda and I have been texting quite a bit. I asked Him to lead me and committed my ways to Him.”

It was only after he prayed that peace came and he fell asleep.

Two days later, Cornelius was playing his guitar when he felt God remind him about Amanda.

“The impression was so strong and clear that I felt I had to tell my mother about it. I believed that God was pointing Amanda out to me,” he said.

He told his mother what he sensed from the Lord. However, she had some concerns and did not seem supportive.

A progressively fatal disease 

It was known among the members of their church that Amanda’s older sister had died at the age of seven, from the same heart condition. 

The sisters and their father suffer from a condition called Primary Pulmonary Hypertension. It affects the pulmonary arteries and capillaries and leads to fatigue, breathing difficulties and eventually, heart failure.

When Amanda was diagnosed with the same condition in 2017, her doctor told her that she likely only had about 10 more years to live. The condition is hereditary and their father has a mild form of it.

Amanda with her older sister.

“I knew Amanda’s condition was aggressive but I didn’t know how bad it could get. She looked healthy and could walk on her own, albeit more slowly than other people. Her father is also still living with it. So, I didn’t think much about her medical condition,” said Cornelius.

Given his mother’s hesitation, Cornelius felt that there was no rush to pursue Amanda. He decided to remain friends with her, and prayed for God to change his mother’s mind should God really intend for him to take things further with Amanda.

Meanwhile, the pair continued texting every day. It eventually came to a point when Cornelius felt he needed to meet up with Amanda. When Cornelius finally asked her point blank why she was so consistent in texting him, she refused to say much.

“I thought about my illness and felt maybe it would not be fair to Cornelius if I confessed my feelings,” she said.

Towards the end of their conversation, Cornelius told Amanda that he found her attractive. Unable to contain her feelings any longer, she told him she felt the same way.

However, they parted from the meeting with the decision to remain as friends. Cornelius told Amanda about his mother’s hesitation and also that he felt they had not known each other very long.

So they continued texting daily, but did not date.

A strong prompting 

On the morning of December 21, 2018, Cornelius woke up and went about his usual morning routine – a time of worship, prayer and reading the Bible.

While he was praying, he experienced a strong prompting from God about Amanda, both in his mind and in his spirit.

“Usually, what happens is when I pray about what I am burdened for, it lifts and I can carry on with my morning devotion. But after praying about Amanda, the prompting was still so strong that I could not focus on reading the Bible,” said Cornelius.

“It was clear to me that God was pushing us forward and we needed to take it to the next level,” he told Salt&Light.

Cornelius told his mother about the strong prompting he received from the Lord and how he could not ignore it this time.

Despite her reservations, his mother accepted his decision.

On the same day, Cornelius texted Amanda to ask if she would seriously consider dating him. The text took Amanda by surprise.

“I did not expect it because I also had reservations about my own illness. But I was also happy. I told him I would pray about it,” she recalled.

When she prayed, she felt “settled” and had a sense of “peace”, so she agreed that they would start dating.

Their first date was a picnic outing at Singapore Botanic Gardens, near Amanda’s home.

Cornelius prepared grapes and potato chips to snack as they sat on the green lawn. He also created a bouquet of chrysanthemums to present to Amanda.

“It was very sweet, but I found the flowers ugly because it was a bunch of chrysanthemums wrapped in purple-coloured paper,” recalled Amanda with a laugh.

At the end of their first date when Cornelius sent her home, reality started sinking in for Amanda. They had talked about her illness before, but she felt that she had to broach it again.

“If you feel that you are of marriageable age and you want to start a family soon, I am not suitable for you,” Amanda told him upfront. Having Primary Pulmonary Hypertension meant that she could not have children because pregnancy would be too stressful for her heart and lungs. She also knew that she was dying and had limited time left.

Cornelius was undeterred. Without missing a beat, he answered her earnestly: “If God wants to heal you, He can heal you. If God wants to give us children, He can.”

To some, his answer might have come across as glib and a Christian cliché, but Cornelius was speaking from the heart.

A journey of repentance and rebirth

Just the year before in 2017, Cornelius had his own spiritual “rebirth” experience with God. While doing an exchange programme overseas, he found himself entangled with a fellow classmate and falling into sexual sin.

Cornelius travelling in Iceland while on an exchange programme overseas.

“I continued with it even when I returned to Singapore. But I knew God was trying to win my heart back,” said Cornelius.

After a few months, he decided to repent before God and put an end to the relationship.

“God met me powerfully when I repented. He poured out His love for me and I began to experience the magnitude of His love for me and His delight in me,” he told Salt&Light.

Having experienced a glimpse of the Father’s love and Spirit being poured out into him, his morning devotion time with God was never the same again. Every morning from then on, he pursued God wholeheartedly, thirsting for a deeper measure of intimacy with the Lord.

What Cornelius’ quiet time with the Lord looks like every morning.

Knowing that he had heard God clearly regarding Amanda being “the best” for him, Cornelius did not waver in his decision to pursue her, despite her having a severe medical condition.

When Amanda heard Cornelius’ response, she felt his conviction and was greatly moved.

“I was surprised at how easy Cornelius took it. I thought my illness would be a barrier. Cornelius is clearly a good and godly man who knows God and fears Him. Wondering what was this unusual journey that God was taking both of us on, I accepted his pursuit,” she said.

Over the next two weeks, they went for a few more dates in nature spots such as walking around the quarry in Bukit Timah.

Both of them enjoyed going on dates at nature spots in Singapore.

By the end of the two weeks, Amanda sensed that God wanted her to fully disclose the nature of her past relationships to Cornelius. It was not easy for her to confess, neither was it easy for Cornelius to hear.

As he wrestled with her disclosure, silence fell between them. They did not continue texting each other for two days.

“I thought that’s it – I only get to enjoy two weeks of dating before we break up. But God spoke to me about how He will make a way even when I felt stuck,” Amanda recalled.

As Cornelius sat before the Lord with a troubled heart, God gave him a renewed perspective.

“Having experienced God’s love and forgiveness towards myself, I knew He wanted me to extend the same to Amanda,” he said.

“Besides, if He told me that Amanda is ‘the best’ for me, then He would already have known about her past and factored all of these in,” he reasoned.

Cornelius broke the silence between them and asked to meet. When they met at the common area below her apartment, Amanda braced herself for a breakup.

Instead, Cornelius told her that he forgave her for what she had done in the past and also asked for her forgiveness for his own trespasses.

“It was surreal. The Lord had really blessed me with a godly man who was willing to accept me as I was. I chose to receive it instead of pushing him away,” Amanda told Salt&Light.

With these obstacles out of the way, they got together as a couple that day: January 10, 2019.

Amanda and Cornelius got together on January 10, 2019.

After two months of dating bliss, Amanda was filled with so much joy that she found herself asking God one night if she could marry Cornelius.

“I don’t take that for granted seeing how my past relationships did not work out and also because of my major illness,” said Amanda.

An answered prayer 

Shortly after, Cornelius’ mother began to broach the topic of him having to move out after marriage. Cornelius began looking out for a suitable Built-To-Order (BTO) flat and planning his proposal.

On 21 December 2019, Cornelius proposed to Amanda at her home with a heart-shaped diamond ring. The date was significant to Cornelius as it was one year after he felt God strongly prompting him about Amanda.

Cornelius pulled off a successful proposal at Amanda’s home.

At that time, Amanda could still walk on her own, but she needed to pause and take breaks along the way. On some outings, Cornelius would carry her bag.

After their engagement, COVID took the world by storm.

The couple had to jump through various hoops in preparation for their wedding in order to abide by the laws and measures then. Yet the biggest obstacle they had to face had nothing to do with COVID measures.

A gathering of both Amanda’s and Cornelius’ families.

Two weeks before their wedding in August 2020, Amanda’s health took a turn for the worse.

The doctors said she was deteriorating significantly faster than they expected and asked her to join a new clinical trial study. As part of the study, she would receive a new drug but she had to be prepared for its side effects.   

Doubts of whether they ought to go ahead with the marriage assailed Amanda.

“Though Cornelius has always consistently shown his love and commitment to me, I realised I still had the power to say no, to not sign the marriage papers,” she said.

Tearfully, Amanda broke the latest bad news about her health to Cornelius.

“We don’t have to get married. Else, you will have to watch me waste away,” she told him.

Still “God’s best” for him

Despite the bad medical report, Cornelius was clear about what he had to do.

“The circumstances don’t change what God has been saying to me, and the consistent way in which He has been leading us. If the latest medical report does not catch God off guard, then I will not doubt that Amanda is still God’s ‘best’ for me,” Cornelius said.

He replied firmly to Amanda: “I cannot force you to marry me, I only can urge you to marry me. I don’t fully know the implications of us going ahead, but I want to go ahead with this.”

In the face of his resoluteness, Amanda acceded.

“It felt right to continue on this journey that God has been taking us on. Whenever He takes me home, He takes me but I want to make my life count while I am here,” she told Salt&Light.

On August 8, 2020, Cornelius and Amanda had their wedding at a rooftop restaurant on the 40th floor of the CapitaGreen building.

The happy couple on their wedding day.

The day before the wedding Amanda still wondered if they would really get married.

The plan was for Cornelius to move into her parents’ home while they waited for their own flat, and she was due to further her studies – Master of Arts in Ministry – at a Bible college next. 

The couple saying their vows in front of their loved ones in the midst of a raging Covid-19 pandemic.

As they said their vows in front of their loved ones under a bright sky, the pair knew that the God who brought them together would also be the same God who would see them through the uncertain days ahead.

Little did Cornelius know that Amanda would soon be wheelchair-bound, needing constant oxygen support and that they would have to take an air ambulance to the US so she could be placed on the waiting list for a lung transplant which would cost a few million dollars. While waiting for a donor, Amanda had planned to take another new trial drug that was only available overseas at a cost of SGD19,000 a jab, to be injected once every three weeks.

Read Part 2 of their story here.

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