Diagnosed with ADHD at age 50, she started a charity to help adults and youths with ADHD to thrive

Moonlake Lee does not fit the commonly-held stereotype of someone with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). She is “a mature woman” – articulate, high-achieving and disciplined. The multi-hyphenate and holder of two bachelor’s and two master’s degrees has had experience and careers in diverse fields: From journalism to law, from technology to investment. But at […] The post Diagnosed with ADHD at age 50, she started a charity to help adults and youths with ADHD to thrive appeared first on Salt&Light.

Religion Oct 29, 2025 0 8 Add to Reading List

Diagnosed with ADHD at age 50, she started a charity to help adults and youths with ADHD to thrive

Moonlake Lee does not fit the commonly-held stereotype of someone with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

She is “a mature woman” – articulate, high-achieving and disciplined. The multi-hyphenate and holder of two bachelor’s and two master’s degrees has had experience and careers in diverse fields: From journalism to law, from technology to investment.

But at 50, she discovered that much of her energy and perfectionism came from an undiagnosed condition: ADHD.

The revelation came a year after her elder daughter, Alisa Cheng, was diagnosed with ADHD at 15. Alisa had been struggling academically before her “O” Levels. Medication and therapy made a remarkable difference. She went from failing five out of eight subjects to receiving mathematics awards, acing her “A” Levels and earning a place to study dentistry in the UK.

ADHD played out differently in mother and daughter’s lives but sharing the same diagnosis brought a deeper understanding of each other.

For many years, ADHD was viewed mainly as a childhood or school-related issue, rather than something that affects adults and families across generations.

But as Moonlake read up on the condition to help her daughter, she learnt about the high heritability of ADHD. Research suggests that 74% to 80% of the risk is attributed to genetic factors. This means that one or more family members – such as a parent or sibling – is likely to have ADHD as well.

Moonlake with daughters Alisa (left), 22, Hana, 21, and husband Dr Ansgar Cheng.

“I wondered if I might have it too,” Moonlake, now 56, told Salt&Light. “It explained my constant over-scheduling, my distractibility, my cycles of burnout. I was always doing too much.”

Her life at the time was a whirlwind: Working in a tech start-up that presented a steep learning curve. Organising an industry conference in six weeks. Travelling twice a month. Training for half-marathons. Singing in a choir to fundraise. Attending Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) weekly. Supporting Alisa through her “O” Levels. And visiting her ailing mother-in-law in Hong Kong on weekends during the protests.

“It was all too much,” Moonlake said. “That’s when I decided to seek a diagnosis to see if medication and therapy might help me cope better.”

“It changed our dynamics and built more trust”

ADHD plays out differently in different individuals.

“My condition presents itself as more hyperactive-impulsive, and Alisa’s manifests itself as the more inattentive version,” said Moonlake.

“Her energy levels tend to be lower than mine and she’s a type that might get overwhelmed more easily. So being aware of the differences and accommodating that is very important.”

“My diagnosis didn’t magically fix everything,” said Moonlake.

“The identification that both of us had the same condition made it easier to relate to her, and for her to feel understood.”

“But the identification that both of us had the same condition made it easier to relate to her, and for her to feel understood.

“It was no longer about coming from a place of ‘I know what’s best for you’. It was more like, ‘Hey, I struggle with the same things as you do. Here are some things that have helped me. Maybe they’ll help you too?’”

One of the biggest surprises of her diagnosis was being able to improve relationships – especially with her husband – with the understanding of the situation.

“I realised that some of my ADHD symptoms – time blindness, forgetfulness and changing topics during conversations, impulsivity and distractibility – would trigger negative responses in my husband, which would then spiral into disagreements and resentment.

“When he realised that some of these issues were not character flaws but part of my wiring, he became more patient and compassionate. I also worked on managing these symptoms better,” she said.

It also brought a new way of seeing herself.

“My diagnosis was a beginning that taught me to embrace my wiring and leverage my strengths to build something meaningful.”

“It gave me self-compassion. Knowing why there were certain issues in my life gave me context, which was liberating.

“Instead of shame, I began to see possibilities. My diagnosis was a beginning that taught me to embrace my wiring and leverage my strengths – like creativity, energy and hyperfocus – to build something meaningful.”

Her ADHD strength of hyperfocus – the intense fixation on digging deeper into a single activity for a prolonged period of time – would lead her to found Unlocking ADHD. It is Singapore’s first IPC-registered charity and social service agency dedicated to helping adults and youth with ADHD understand their wiring, and access the support they need to thrive.

Describing it as her “personal crusade”, her supportive husband quipped in his blog that he would “play the fine balance of being a supportive spouse and a brake for her turbo charged engine”.

Monthly community hangouts are opportunities to forge friendships.

Moonlake would call it “the hardest journey I’ve undertaken”, a season where her faith would be refined.

In the discouragement and financial uncertainty of starting a charity from scratch, she would see God’s provision in the form of people and organisations to encourage and provide – to help create a “blue ocean – something out of nothing – with no safety nets, and no clear pathways to follow”.

They were quiet reassurances that He had not forgotten her.

Unlocking her calling

“For much of my life I had been struggling silently, always sensing something was different, but not knowing why,” said Moonlake.

“After my diagnosis, I began seeking God more intentionally, asking Him what my true purpose was,” she shared.

At one online workshop, she sensed that God was calling her to “uncover diamonds”.

“The ADHD community are literally like diamonds – there’s a lot of brilliance and value, but it takes a lot of digging and work to uncover. There’s a lot of shame, trauma and low self-esteem and things like the lack of skills or support needed to find their strengths and achieve what they are capable of doing.”

With the help of volunteers, she officially launched Unlocking ADHD on October 1, 2021, with a webinar – from a hotel room in Singapore while quarantining during the COVID pandemic, after sending her daughter to university in the UK.

“I wanted Unlocking ADHD to be the go-to place – the first place you think of when you’ve been diagnosed or suspect you have ADHD, where you can find community, information and tools,” she said.

Unlocking ADHD’s first webinar with developmental-behavioural paediatrician Dr Dan Shapiro attracted more than 400 participants.

Publicity for Unlocking ADHD’s launch webinar.

Among them was Professor Tan Sze Wee, who offered an unexpected donation – among the first of many examples of divine provision.

“I was so surprised, I almost felt like returning it,” she said. “Unlocking ADHD was just a grassroots start-up. But I was touched by his gesture of support.”

Prof Tan is now the board chairman of Unlocking ADHD.

Becoming a charity went against her “natural wiring”

When deciding what form Unlocking ADHD should take – a business, a social enterprise or charity, Moonlake admitted: “Becoming a charity was my least preferred option.”

She told Salt&Light: “I knew I’d spend a lot of time raising funds – a huge distraction. And compliance-heavy processes of a charity – with all the checks and balances, many people to report to – go against my natural wiring of wanting to get things done yesterday. I’m very entrepreneurial – I like to move fast and make things happen.

“Being involved in the betterment of society, and another individual can be therapeutic.”

But she surrendered her plans in prayer.

“I went back to the first principle: I started Unlocking ADHD to give back and create impact. So it became an exercise in submission.”

Through her own journey with her daughter, Moonlake had found many forms of support – they took a lot of resourcefulness to find, and were either very expensive or inaccessible.

“I wanted to explore how we could make them more bite-sized, and more accessible to more people. And there wasn’t much practical knowledge at that time that was relevant in our local context for ADHD and its impact on education, work and mental health.”

Moonlake saw another benefit of being a non-profit: It attracted adult ADHDers to offer their time and skills. “They felt a sense of purpose volunteering with us. And being involved in the betterment of society, and another individual can be therapeutic.

Volunteer Appreciation Night in 2023.

“In the early days, Unlocking ADHD was really built on the efforts of our volunteers.”

The first ADHD community survey

While quarantining in her hotel room, Moonlake read about a new interagency government task force on mental health and well-being, recognising the rising rates of anxiety and depression, especially during the COVID pandemic.

“I wrote to the Senior Minister of State from the Ministry of Health who was leading the initiative and said, ‘There’s another community we haven’t included – people with ADHD have higher rates of anxiety and depression than those without the condition.’

“He was very gracious, and within a short time, I was invited to meet representatives from the Ministry of Health (MOH) and Ministry of Education (MOE).”

Moonlake speaking at a 2025 workshop for students on executive function – mental skills that allow the brain to plan, organise and complete tasks by managing thoughts, emotions and actions.

Wanting to give MOH and MOE a clearer idea of issues on the ground, she reached out to ADHD charity SPARK Singapore – she used to be on its steering committee – to collaborate on a joint survey.

Nearly 600 people – half parents of children with ADHD, half adult ADHDers – responded within a month. The good response was another blessing.

“I had a mini panic afterwards because I’m not trained in analysing data,” she said.

God’s provision came through volunteers with the professional and academic experience to help interpret and check the data, and helped the team derive insights and recommendations.

“Volunteers also helped us conduct literature reviews on ADHD research to make sure our ground-up survey data was consistent with global findings.”

The findings from the survey were stark:

79% of respondents indicated that ADHD negatively impacted family relationships
Almost 70% of students with ADHD had difficulty progressing in school
More than 40% of adults with ADHD struggled to stay employed
About 88% of adults and 72% of children had at least another condition on top of ADHD – the most common were anxiety, depression and/or a special education need like dyslexia or ASD (autism spectrum disorder).

“The community survey highlighted the complexity of ADHD, and the impact on relationships, school, workplace and greater society was profound.

“More research is needed to understand its implications. More support was needed for individuals and families living with ADHD,” said Moonlake.

Five loaves and two fish

Running a new charity was financially and emotionally demanding.

“In the early days, we had just S$7,000 in the bank,” recalls Moonlake. “We had no track record, so it was difficult to get funding from grant foundations to support us.”

In Singapore, ADHD is officially recognised as a neurodevelopmental condition, not a mental illness or disability which would be eligible for government-funded support.

(However, diagnosis and treatment of ADHD is available at subsidised rates at the Institute of Mental Health and restructured hospitals if referred by a polyclinic or a CHAS clinic).

“As a result, many adults go undiagnosed, unsupported and unseen. That’s why the need for education and advocacy is so urgent,” says Moonlake.

“Unlocking ADHD’s vision and mission required scalability and sustainability to make an impact. We needed a full-time team to create tools, psychoeducation and interventions – a heavy commitment in time, energy and resources.”

When she wanted to hire their first full-time employee, a volunteer accountant advised waiting until they had at least $120,000 in reserves. She bristled.

“Just before the deadline he gave me, the first grant we applied for came in – $150,000. That allowed us to hire our first full-time staff.

“God provided. And His timing was perfect.”

In 2023, a corporate donor offered a rent-free four-room office at Holland Drive – a space for the Unlocking ADHD team to work and plan their programmes, hold meetings, host stakeholders, and more recently, to provide counselling services.

The team shared what they have been doing to empower ADHDers and families with former Minister of Education Mr Chan Chun Sing, who dropped by the Holland Drive hub one weekend constituency walkabout in 2024.

In April 2025, Unlocking ADHD attained IPC (Institution of a Public Character) status, making donations eligible for a 250% tax deduction, enhancing the appeal to corporate and individual donors.

In September 2025, MINDSET, the mental health charity arm of Jardine Matheson Group pledged S$1 million over three years to fund the Unlocking ADHD – MINDSET Support Hub which will provide ADHD-informed counselling services and other support for the ADHD community.

The pledge will enable more than 100 individuals to receive over 1,000 hours of ADHD-informed counselling. Counselling services are available at an affordable rate. There is also a subsidised rate through means testing.

“I always think of the boy with the five loaves and two fish,” Moonlake said. “He gave what little he had – and God multiplied it. That’s how Unlocking ADHD has grown.”

For the ADHD community, by people with ADHD

Today, more than 50% of Unlocking ADHD’s team – whether staff or volunteers – have the condition themselves. This is significantly higher than the estimated ADHD prevalence in Singapore of 2-7% among adults (and 5-8% among children).

In one webinar, youth ADHDers shared last minute hacks that helped them survive exams.

“People ask why I hire so many with ADHD,” Moonlake said. “It’s not intentional – they’re drawn to the mission.”

But with passion also comes challenges: Burnout, overstimulation, and scarce resources are constant realities.

By God’s grace, help arrived, with seasoned charity leader Daniel Ang, joining as General Manager, marking a turning point for the organisation. Daniel also has a personal experience of ADHD.

“Daniel coming on board marked the beginning of the turnaround. He was truly an answer to an urgent prayer,” said Moonlake. Photo by Gemma Koh.

As of today, Unlocking ADHD has eight full-timers (including three counsellors), one part-timer and three interns. Not all are pictured.

Since its founding four years ago, Unlocking ADHD has reached over 8,000 people through its online community, talks, workshops and community events.

Moonlake herself works about 60 hours a week as a full-time volunteer founder and director, drawing no salary so the team can be paid. “I’m raising funds to ensure our counsellors and staff are supported,” she explained.

“Once we’re more stable, I hope to finally take a much-needed rest.”

Taking a systems approach, Unlocking ADHD supports individuals and families while also engaging with educators, mental health professionals, and employers to build environments where ADHDers can thrive.

Unlocking ADHD also collaborates regionally and globally with ADHD groups in Hong Kong, Australia, the UK, Europe, and the USA to share best practices and expertise.

“Just as Singapore has master plans to care for people with special needs and other vulnerable groups, there should also be strategic planning and policy support for families affected by ADHD.

“After all, when one family member has ADHD, others may be affected too. And given the high hereditary rate, it means that the condition can continue across generations.

“There is a real need to support entire families, not just the child or individual diagnosed. Families need help to understand the condition, build practical skills, and access appropriate interventions such as therapy or medication. When ADHD is managed well, everyone in the family can function at their best.”

Some 170 people gathered to celebrate the fourth birthday of Unlocking ADHD, and the book launch of Differently Wired Minds, featuring more than 60 inspirational stories of ADHDers

“Anyone who knew our situation in early 2024 would agree – it’s a miracle what we’re doing now. So I can only give glory to God,” said Moonlake.

Refined by faith

“The past few years have been one in which my faith was tested,” Moonlake shared in her testimony when she became a member of Adam Road Presbyterian Church.

“I was not only leading a start-up organisation that was looking to provide meaningful support for the ADHD community, I was also living the statistics in my personal life at the same time. The past few years of navigating complexities as a parent supporting a young adult ADHDer, working on my marriage, and managing my own symptoms, took its toll on me.

Moonlake sharing her testimony at Adam Road Presbyterian Church.

“The reality of ADHD can be painful: Broken relationships, missed potential, emotional turmoil. Yet, through my daughter’s growth and my own struggles, I saw that God doesn’t waste our pain. He redeems it.”

Out of her own pain and challenges, Moonlake saw the need to enable people with differently wired brains with resources they need to find their strengths to thrive.

“There were seasons of deep discouragement, financial uncertainty, and battles that left me questioning everything. But in those very moments, when I was weakest and most weary, God was closest. He sent people to encourage, donors to provide, and quiet reassurances that He had not forgotten me.

“I began to understand what James 1:2-3 meant – that trials produce perseverance. I also learnt to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:18) – not only for the victories, but also for the valleys.

“Even now, I still wrestle with uncertainty – about my children’s future, about growing a mainly neurodivergent team, about sustaining the vision that often feels far bigger than myself.

“But God has been faithful.”

“I have a solid group of close friends whom I can bare my soul to, and whom I know will be there to support me through life’s ups and downs. I am also blessed to have a supportive family (pictured) and a trusted domestic helper of 20 years who knows exactly what is needed to be done to keep the household running smoothly,” said Moonlake.

“We are fearfully and wonderfully made”

Moonlake urges parents and adults with ADHD not to delay seeking help out of fear.

“People avoid getting support because they’re afraid it might hurt their future – but in the meantime, real damage is being done today.”

She recalls parents hesitant to apply for exam accommodations for their children, fearing it would affect scholarship and job opportunities.

“That’s robbing today for tomorrow,” she says. “You don’t know the future – but you can help your child now.”

Adults, too, may avoid diagnosis for fear of stigma, fearing it would affect employment opportunities.

“They fear the future, but the truth is – their present is already being affected. If you need help, get it now.”

“Our amygdala reacts the same whether fear is real or imagined. There’s a cartoon that shows someone terrified of a lion-shaped shadow – but when they finally turn the corner, it’s just a cat.

“Don’t let a lion-shaped shadow hold you back.”

Monthly community hangouts are opportunities to forge friendships.

Moonlake’s faith shapes her understanding of ADHD.

“We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Everything has a purpose. Yes, there are challenges that come with the ADHD wiring – but also gifts and unique strengths.”

“ADHD is like having a Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes … Our job is to help people strengthen those brakes so they can thrive.”

She cites psychiatrist Dr Edward Hallowell’s analogy: “ADHD is like having a Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes. The engine is powerful – your creativity and drive. But the brakes – your self-regulation – need strengthening. Our job is to help people strengthen those brakes so they can thrive.”

Instead of asking for healing, Moonlake asks for prayers for “wisdom and strength” – to learn from her condition and to use it for good.

“There’s a misconception that Christians shouldn’t have mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges. That’s not true. God can work through our weaknesses to display His glory.

“When I’ve felt most alone, there’s always a provision – a kind word, a friend showing up, someone saying that what we did made a difference. That’s what keeps me going.”

RESOURCES:

Differently Wired Minds, launched on October 11, is a book that features more than 60 stories of Singaporeans with ADHD from all walks of life – different age groups, ethnicities, socio-economic backgrounds and education levels.

It shows the richness, diversity, and depth that people with ADHD can contribute to society – to reframe the way ADHD is understood and perceived.

Click here to read the stories. Or consider donating S$150 or more for a physical hard copy, while stocks last.

Unlocking ADHD is an IPC charity and social service in Singapore with a mission to “Empower ADHDers and their families to live life to the fullest”. It provides practical resources and support to those who are living with ADHD to help them identify their strengths and unlock their full potential. It provides a safe and supportive space for ADHDers and their families to thrive.

Click here to find out more.

HOW YOU CAN HELP:

Click here to donate to Unlocking ADHD. Funds are used to bridge the gap for families with ADHD. This includes providing psychoeducation resources and building interventions needed to support ADHDers to manage daily routines so that they can thrive.

Unlocking ADHD is an Institution of a Public Character, and donations are eligible for a 250% tax deduction.