“Daddy, I can see Him … He grabbed me”: A 6-year-old’s vision before he went to be with Jesus

“Grabbed by the Lord on February 15, 2011.”

These words are inscribed on the niche of six-year-old Nathanael de Souza, along with John 1:50-51.

Behind the inscription is a story that would bring his parents, Denis and Doris an assurance in the depths of their grief.

“Daddy, I can see Him”

It was 9pm and it was lights out in the eight-bed hospital ward.

Denis de Souza was sitting beside his six-year-old son, talking and praying with him.

Suddenly, Nathanael said: “Daddy, I can see Him. He’s over there. I can see Him.”

Denis gently probed further, although he already had an inkling whom his son was referring to. Between pauses, Nathanael spoke.

“He grabbed me. And He touched you too, Daddy.”

It was still early days of what would become a month-long stay in hospital. Nathanael’s condition had not yet fully deteriorated, and he was still drifting in and out of clarity.

Sometimes, his parents felt like they were still talking to their six-year-old son.

“At other times, we weren’t sure who we were talking to … It was like having two people in one body,” recalled Denis.

Shortly after his sixth birthday in January, Nathanael had been admitted to hospital following a series of seizures. He had been behaving out of character, doing things like squatting on the table top to inspect the food on the dining table.

After a battery of tests and ruling out other possibilities, doctors diagnosed him with Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis (ADEM), a rare autoimmune disease.

That night in the darkened ward, Nathanael also told his father something else: “I see angels going up and down a ladder.”

Denis did not know it would be the last conversation he would have with his son.

“After that, he lost the ability to talk,” Denis told Salt&Light. “But I’m thankful that, if that had to be the last thing he said, that God allowed him to say that.”

“Tell my mummy I am very busy”

In the early hours of February 15, 2011, Nathanael breathed his last breath.

Thinking back on the CCTV recording that happened to capture his last moments, Doris recalled that he was excited and he smiled.

“He was at peace, and he knew where he was going,” she said.

Shortly after, one of the many people from various churches who had been interceding for the family had a vision of Nathanael gardening in a beautiful garden. In the vision, Nathanael said: “Tell my Mummy I am very busy.”

While it was comforting, it did not take away the unimaginable grief of losing their son.

Touched at 4 years 3 months and 20 days old

Nathanael’s first encounter with God had begun two years earlier.

On April 26, 2009, the de Souzas were at their usual 9am service at St Andrew’s Cathedral, sitting in the section for parents with young and noisier children.

During the service, Reverend Hambali Leonardi made an altar call, inviting anyone – adult or child – who wanted to receive salvation to come forward.

“Nathanael was trembling, but he had a big smile and an excited look. I knew that the Holy Spirit had touched him.”

“I felt a prompting and said to Nathanael, ‘Hey, do you want to go down and accept Jesus as your Saviour?’” Doris recalled.

To her surprise, he said “yes”.

His father brought him down for the salvation prayer.

“When Nathanael came back, he was trembling, but he had a big smile and an excited look. I knew that the Holy Spirit had touched him,” said Doris.

Doris’ account first appeared in The PETALS Prayer Book: Pray the Word of God into Your Child’s Life Every Day, published in 2013.

Nathanael was exactly four years, three months, and 20 days old when, according to his mother, he was touched by God’s spirit.

A mature boy in a little boy’s body

After Nathanael accepted Jesus, Doris noticed small but consistent signs of his faith.

For instance, when he received a toy from a good friend that had an occultic theme, she gently explained that it was not very glorifying to God.

“I expected it would be hard for him to let it go,” she recalled. “Instead, a few minutes later, I saw him running from his room to the kitchen and throwing the toy into the chute without protest.”

She added: “I thought, wow, he really has God in his heart.”

Another time, Doris remembers seeing Nathanael sitting on the top bunk of his bed with his children’s Bible, reading about Elijah being taken up to heaven in a chariot of fire (2 Kings 2:11).

“Then he asked, ‘Can I also go up in a chariot of fire?’

“When I told him to ask God, he actually went and prayed about it.”

She added: “Nathanael was a mature boy living in a little boy’s body.”

If his wake had been a wedding

Nathanael’s wake was not a small, quiet farewell for a six-year-old.

People who had journeyed with his family, relatives, friends, church members, doctors, nurses, army buddies, colleagues from different seasons of his family’s lives all came to pay their respects.

Doris remembers people commenting that they had never seen such a large crowd at a child’s funeral.

“If it were a wedding,” someone commented, “it would be the most well-attended wedding.”

Many wondered how the family were able to worship God in the darkest moments of their lives.

This writer was among those who attended the wake, and remembers how even in their anguish, Denis and Doris carried themselves with remarkable grace, comforting those who had come to comfort them.

Many who were not Christians wondered how the family were able to still worship God in what was one of the darkest moments of their lives. Doris recalled how a few friends started to question their beliefs after attending the wake.

Looking back, Doris and Denis sensed God was using Nathanael’s life – and even his death – to plant seeds in hearts.

Later, they would hear from at least two non-Christian families about how Nathanael had come to comfort their children when they had fallen at the playground, and even offered to pray for them.

Eureka moment

Denis and Doris had named their firstborn Nathanael after the disciple who saw Jesus.

Never did they imagine how literally that name would play out.

Months after Nathanael had gone to be with Jesus, Denis was driving and crying as he thought about his son. Then a Bible passage about Nathanael the disciple came to mind. Denis described it as “a eureka moment”.

When he got home, he opened John 1:43-51.

“It hit me that my own son’s words sounded like Jesus’ words to Nathanael in the Bible.”

And suddenly, the connection struck him.

His son had spoken of seeing a ladder and angels – words that echoed Jesus’ words to Nathanael in the Bible about seeing “heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man”.

“It hit me that my own son’s words sounded like Jesus’ words to Nathanael in the Bible. It blew my mind,” Denis told Salt&Light.

The connection between his son’s name, the passage, and Nathanael’s final vision left Denis reflecting on the brevity of his son’s life.

“I sat there thinking, ‘Wow, if his God-given life was only six years on this earth, then he really did run a good race. He lived to tell what he saw.”

That eureka moment didn’t take away the pain, but it changed how Denis understood his son’s life.

“Maybe this was his story, and God allowed him to see and speak of it so that others can be encouraged through his life.”

Doris found comfort in it too: “It was such an encouragement because if this was the last thing that he said to Denis, then God wants us to know that He’s in heaven, and that we don’t have to worry.”

Denis puts it another way: “We were thinking, if anybody had to be grabbed, Nathanael was ready. He was definitely ready to be grabbed.”

Grief is still grief … The story of Nathanael’s final vision brought some measure of comfort and assurance to his parents. Yet the loss remained, and so did Doris’ anger towards God. What helped them begin to live with the pain? Stay tuned for the de Souzas’ next story.

The post “Daddy, I can see Him … He grabbed me”: A 6-year-old’s vision before he went to be with Jesus appeared first on Salt&Light.