74 Groan-Worthy Poop Jokes And Puns For Kids

You may be asking yourself: Do my children really need encouragement — or new material — when it comes to toilet humor? Most kids, after all, are already obsessed with poop jokes and poop puns. They can’t get enough of the poop emoji. “Diarrhea” and “poop” are gleefully thrown out as serious proposals for the names of sports teams, stuffed animals, and pizza orders. And the truth is most of their silly jokes about poop revolve around a world that goes beyond repeating (or singing) the word “poop.”

While the relentlessness of toilet humor and poop puns can be trying for parents, whose only sustained interest is poop that involves potty training, it’s a totally appropriate developmental phase and a rite of passage for kids. So if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. While your kid may not come up with the most clever of poop jokes, hilarious punchlines and comical puns about poop do exist. Here are a few genuinely funny ones guaranteed to delight your kids and even make you chuckle. Check out our pile of fresh ones below:

Groan-Worthy Poop Jokes

My love for you is like diarrhea.

I can’t hold it in.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken next to him farted.

What do flies politely say to the other?

“Is this stool taken?”

When does Denzel Washington usually need to hang out with the Rugrats?

On potty training day.

What are kings’ farts called?

A noble gas.

Politicians are like diapers.

They need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.

What do a clown’s farts smell like?

They smell funny.

What did the poop say to the fart?

“You blow me away.”

What did the prune say to his employees?

“Let’s make this sh*t happen.”

Why do doctors say four out of five people suffer from diarrhea?

Because one guy likes it.

What’s the best snack for watching a movie that stinks?

Poop-corn!

Why did the prankster put poo in the elevator?

Because he wanted to take his pranks to the next level.

What’s the similarity between poop and talent?

Both will come out when it’s time for them to come out.

Children are like farts.

Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else’s are horrendous.

What type of poop jokes should you never crack?

The corny ones.

What is a vegetarian suffering from diarrhea called?

A salad shooter.

What’s the German word for constipation?

Farfrompoopen.

Poop Puns

Ready for a poop joke?

Nope, they stink.

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes.

But they’re a solid number two.

I actually like poop jokes.

I think they’re the sh*t.

What do you call a magical poop?

Poodini.

Poop jokes?

I just hate when they’re too corny or run on.

I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday.

Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He just couldn’t budget.

They said pooping is a call of nature.

So is farting a missed call?

Did you hear about the constipated movie?

It never came out.

Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea?

It leaked, so they had to release it early.

Which poop movie in a trilogy is the worst of all?

The turd one.

Did you hear about the constipated composer?

He had problems with his last movement.

Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary.

It runs in your jeans.

What did the puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes?

“Stop making me laugh or I’ll puma pants!”

What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls?

Dung-arees.

What’s something great about poop jokes?

They’ll make your cheeks hurt.

Why did the baker’s hands stink?

He kneaded a poo.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

Knock Knock Poop Jokes

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Smell mop.

Smell mop who?

No, I won’t smell your poo!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

I eep.

I eep who?

Gross, you eat poo?!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Poop.

Poop who?

Hahaha, you said poo twice!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

I did up.

I did up who?

Eww. You did a poo?

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, you’re a poo!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke out, I’m about to fart!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

I’m a pile of.

I’m a pile of who?

No, you’re not!

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Stinky.

Stinky who?

Yeah, your poo does stink.

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

I smell like.

I smell like who?

No, you smell fine.

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Poo.

Poo who?

Don’t cry, it’s just a poop joke!

Bathroom Jokes

I like toilets for two reasons.

Number one and number two.

What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl?

“You’re looking flushed.”

Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet?

It wasn’t his doodie.

What is something you never appreciate until it’s gone?

Toilet paper.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

Why did the toilet seat cry?

She got dumped.

Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party?

She was a party pooper.

When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called?

Dereliction of doodie.

What do women and toilet paper have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Why are there no bathrooms in some banks?

Because not all banks accept deposits.

Poop jokes don’t always get the potty started, but they sure do finish it.

How can you unlock a toilet when you are in a hurry?

With a doo-key.

Where do cavemen poop?

In a Neander-stall.

What is a bathroom fairy called?

Stinkerbell.

Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack.

What did the conditioner bottle do to the toilet seat?

He shampooed it.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet?

When it has a leek in it!

Where do sheep like to play?

In the baaa-throom.

What do octopuses do after using the toilet?

They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands.

How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell?

Just a phew.

Why were there candles on a toilet seat?

Because there was a surprise birthday potty.

Why couldn't the police officers find the toilet thief?

Because they had nothing to go on.

Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet?

Because it's his doody.

Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom?

Because it's also called a restroom.

If you're an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-pee-an.

What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom?

You let it finish!

Where does the volcano relieve itself?

In the lava-tory.

Where can Woody and Buzz go number 2?

In the toy-let.