6 signs you’ve got a high level of confidence that some people find intimidating

We live in a world where obedience and subservience are highly valued.

We live in a world where people are expected to get in line and be mere cogs in the system.

And because many of us are conditioned this way, highly confident people sometimes can come across as brash, or too full-on and intimidating.

While confidence is generally a good thing, the reality is, that some people aren’t ready for it.

But that’s mostly their problem.

Confidence is a relatively rare gift, so keep fostering it… but at the same time, be open to making adjustments where necessary.

In this article, I’ll take you through some of the signs you have the type of confidence that can intimidate people.

Let’s get to it!

1) You make unwavering eye contact

The eyes are the windows to the soul.

But sometimes peering into another person’s soul for prolonged periods can get a bit too intense or awkward for them.

Not everyone is up to the task.

Most level-headed folk will use eye contact with restraint, instinctively knowing that too much of it can put the other person off.

When you have a high level of confidence, however, you’re anything but average.

And thus, you tend to have few qualms about making eye contact with others.

Petty discomfort doesn’t phase you.

And though you may use your gaze mostly as a rapport builder, it’s natural for people to feel a bit uncomfortable and intimidated by it, particularly if they aren’t used to unwavering eye contact… and the fact is, most people aren’t.

2) You are a clear and direct communicator

We live in a society that demands obedience and modesty.

Any acts of personality or boldness are often frowned upon, upsetting the peace.

Look at the world of politics: Every other politician carefully chooses their words when they speak, hyper-wary of the prospect of offending anyone, so they can get as many votes as possible.

When it comes to interactions, many, many people like to play it safe, not wanting to rock the boat or status quo.

Genuine confidence can bridge that gap.

When you’re extremely confident, you’re able to articulate your thoughts and opinions clearly, without hesitation, and with plenty of conviction.

While the latter is generally a good thing, for people accustomed to a certain standard of decorum, this can come off as overly aggressive or assertive, and at times, even unpleasant.

3) You stand tall

Did you know that the vast majority of our in-person communication is achieved via non-verbal gestures and body language?

Well, you do now.

Confident people aren’t typically hunched over, or meek-looking, in social situations.

They’re proud of who they are and their body language consistently reflects this.

But sometimes, this can be intimidating to some people, particularly those from more demure cultures.

For instance, confident body language, like standing or sitting upright and taking up space, or shaking someone’s hand assertively with force, can be perceived as overly dominant… which subconsciously could scare people away.

4) You’re comfortable with silence

Humans… we’re a complicated bunch.

Too much noise, we can get uncomfortable.

Not enough noise, we get uncomfortable too… perhaps even more so.

We live in a world where volume is king, where everywhere you go, music and noise are blaring at ungodly levels.

Hence, many of us are conditioned to dislike, even fear, silence–particularly during social interactions.

Confident people don’t feel the need to fill every void or conversational lull with constant and unnecessary talking.

They’re aware that silence is a natural part of life, of human communication, and thus they embrace it, rather than work to avoid it.

From my experience, being able to enjoy the occasional moment of stillness and quiet is a hallmark of a confident person.

The latter sentiment, unfortunately, does not apply to everyone… instead, most will frantically rush to keep a conversation flowing.

5) You show a regular willingness to speak up

As mentioned, the average person is conditioned to be a cog in the system, an average pawn.

Obedience is strongly encouraged in this world–and speaking up and challenging the established order of things is not (to put it lightly.)

Confidence comes in different forms.

Speaking up for injustice, even when it’s deemed “controversial,” is a powerful form of confidence.

Look at the world today: Celebrities and big names are extra cautious about speaking out on certain glaring global issues (I think we can all name a few) because they fear losing opportunities and damaging their careers.

So rather than speak out and use their respective platforms, they’ll let a deeply unjust status quo perpetuate, even though they know it’s wrong.

And for those that do have the courage to speak, some might distance themselves from these people, since straying from the norm, in their eyes, isn’t acceptable.

Voicing your opinions takes boldness and high confidence, it takes comfort with conflict and confrontation, and an unapologetic attitude… things that many people, unfortunately, find pretty intimidating.

6) You’re self-reliant

As people, our needs are collectively pretty simple.

We want food, water, shelter. We want validation, and to get along with others.

When you’re self-reliant enough that you don’t need other people’s constant approval or assistance, you’re in a league of your own.

We live in a deeply intertwined world, where our needs, for the most part, cannot be fulfilled alone.

Not having to depend on anyone is power.

For someone to break the mold and achieve that level of self-sufficiency in life is both admirable and intimidating for most people… people who can only dream of achieving such a standard.

Respect. 

Final words

I’d like to close this piece with a quote by the late anti-Apartheid revolutionary Nelson Mandela: “Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”

If you feel you’re a confident person, keep going.

People like you are needed to give this conformist world a semblance of balance.

Your energy is rare.

Don’t ever allow society to blunt that spirit.