Women Who Struggle to Orgasm Say These 4 Positions Actually Get the Job Done

Orgasming isn’t always a linear journey for women (or anyone with a vagina)—it just isn’t. When you’re first getting to know your own body or figuring things out with a new partner, it can feel as confusing as a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, not to mention totally crushing when you test every trick in the book and end up with a quiet whimper at best. It’s a tale as old as time, and the problem isn’t you. Movies love to sell us a fantasy where both partners climax at the same moment, hair perfectly tousled, sheets barely wrinkled. Cute, but not realistic. In real life, orgasms can be shy; they need coaxing. Between common inhibitors like hormones, medications, stress, overthinking, and just being a human with a very complex pleasure system, it’s no wonder things don’t always line up.

Here’s the important part: there’s nothing wrong with you. Whether you’ve never had an orgasm, only get there solo, or need a very specific kind of stimulation to send you over the edge, you are normal, full stop. Finding what works is half the fun—and the most empowering part.

With this very real difficulty in mind, we asked real women what sex positions bring them to orgasm. These aren’t hypotheticals, just honest answers from people who know their bodies and have experimented with just about everything. Ahead, a few tried and tested sex positions that make even the most difficult-to-please women orgasm—plus their tips for enjoying the ride.

1. Take a Seat

Sometimes pleasure builds like a slow, delicious tease…and then just hangs there. As Adina (30) puts it, “it’s not that sex isn’t pleasurable, but sometimes when I’m really feeling good, I struggle to get over the hump of just ‘building’ and get to fully orgasm.” That’s where the Take a Seat sex position comes into play—the sleeper hit of orgasm-inducing sex positions.

“The giver is seated on a chair or whatever’s comfy,” says Adina, “and [the receiver] sits on [the giver] facing away from them.” With the receiver’s feet on the ground and hands on the giver’s knees, it gives total control of “the speed and depth,” which is exactly what helps Adina cross that threshold from good to oh-my-god. Once you find a rhythm that hits just right, you can uplevel the move, too. Have the giver stand up and lean the receiver onto a surface, like a couch or a bed. From there, Adina advises keeping the same “rhythm and intensity you started with in order to finish you off.” It’s collaborative, consistent, and engineered to take you from almost-there to absolutely-did-that.

2. The Driver

The Driver is basically a full-body delivery of pleasure that Adina swears by. “Three points of contact are key,” she says, making sure every erogenous zone gets some love. Start by having the giver “go down on you,” the receiver, and start fingering—and tell them not to be shy with it. Adina recommends they “tweak your nipples” or add another layer of stimulation. Once things are rolling, slide into a classic doggy-style angle—giver behind, receiver bent over with their bottom up and face down—but don’t let the multitasking end there. Just like a driver juggling the gas pedal and steering wheel, your partner can rub your clitoris or nibble your ear while penetrating from behind. It tantalizes your full body and hits every hot spot—a total win-win.

3. Bridged Missionary

The bridged missionary sex position is basically a holy-grail hack for anyone whose body needs a little extra alignment magic. As Elli (29) puts it, the receiver starts on their back while the giver penetrates, kneeling between the receiver’s legs. The movement becomes this repetitive, delicious rhythm where you shift “between lying flat and at a bridge with your lower abs,” instructed Elli. The magic is in the switch-ups, moving between penetration and “them going down on you or fingering you until you’re fully feeling lubricated.” And because no one knows your body better than you, Elli says you can always add your own fingers to the mix and guide your partner right to that spot you already know hits every single time.

Jane (27) is in complete alignment. “I genuinely thought I was just someone who couldn’t finish,” she says, until her doctors discovered she has “an anterior pelvic tilt and a tilted vagina.” When she’s on her back, her natural arch is so dramatic, “it looks like I’m trying to do a bridge,” which meant her hips were never actually aligned—in bed or in life. Once she learned that her core and hips needed “a little extra elevation and stability,” everything changed. Now she swears by her tilt-friendly lineup, starting with classics like “three to four pillows under my hips for support” during missionary, and when she wants to turn things up a notch? Her teammate gets involved, “hoisting my hips up.” The result is less pain, better angles, and big Os on repeat.

4. Open Book

When it comes to reaching an orgasm, the Open Book oral sex position is where it’s at. The receiver lies flat on their back with their legs spread open, and the giver kneels between the receiver’s legs. Melissa (32) loves when the giver’s “mouth and fingers are working simultaneously,” pressing on the clit with their tongue while their fingers slide inside to make a “come hither motion.” But the fun doesn’t have to stop there. You can also try out different moves to take control of the pace in your own way, like playing with their hair, turning the moment into something playful and intimate. “The harder I grab [my partner’s] hair, the more I like what he’s doing and want him to do more,” she adds, and honestly, that’s the ultimate recipe for pleasure. Equal parts control, playfulness, and letting the giver do their thing while you get to lie back and enjoy every second.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alyssa Rotunno, Contributing Writer

Alyssa Rotunno is a NYC-based writer with a focus on beauty, fashion, shopping, travel, and culture. Her work has appeared in Real Simple, InStyle, Travel+Leisure, Parade, and other national outlets, where she brings a sharp, timely lens to the products, places, and trends worth knowing. She’s endlessly curious about what people are talking about—and loves connecting the dots between trends, products, and real life.

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