Why Women Find Funny Guys Attractive, Explained

If you don’t have six-pack abs, a chiseled jawline, or a dazzling smile, don’t stress — as it turns out, a sense of humor may be an even more effective way to win women over. Research has proven this time and time again, too.

A 2023 study in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences found that when men do something funny, women perceive them as more friendly and attractive. Not only did women perceive funny guys as smarter, according to the study, but they also perceived them as having greater earning potential.

That might help to explain why women’s preference for funny men was especially strong in the context of looking for a long-term relationship. Apparently, a sense of humor suggests the potential to be more successful in life, which is obviously a valuable trait when choosing a life partner.

Of course, everyone has different priorities when it comes to dating — so, some women may prioritize other qualities over a sense of humor. But one of the first things Mark Verber, a licensed professional counselor at EPIC Counseling Solutions, asks clients in a couples counseling session is what initially attracted them to each other. And without fail, he says humor is one of the most common answers he gets.

The question remains, though: Why are women drawn to guys who can make them laugh? Below, experts share some of the many reasons.

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1. Laughter Is a Natural Stress Reliever

Studies have found that laughter reduces cortisol, the stress hormone. That’s just one reason why women love funny men, says Paul Osincup, a humor strategist and author of The Humor Habit — they make them feel more relaxed.

“Not only that, but laughter also boosts the hormone responsible for human connection — oxytocin,” he adds. “So by being funny, you’re simultaneously putting your date at ease and drawing them closer to you.”

2. Humor Helps With Overcoming Life’s Challenges

Being in a long-term relationship with someone means weathering life’s many storms together. So, naturally, women are typically looking for someone who they can rely on to navigate hurdles without losing hope.

“A sense of humor says that the guy can get through the tough spots in life and help you get through them, too,” says Carole Lieberman, MD, a psychiatrist and author of Bad Boys and Bad Girls, “Life can be challenging and laughter is the best medicine.”

Barbie Adler, founder and president of the luxury matchmaking firm Selective Search, also notes that a man who’s quick with a joke can lift your spirits and brighten even the worst day — and what woman wouldn’t want that?

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As Verber notes, every relationship will face potentially awkward situations — and humor is disarming. It puts people at ease.

“Whether it’s the first-date jitters or talking about retirement plans 40 years later, laughter helps to lighten the mood,” he explains. “Women love men who have humor in their toolkit to help smooth out rough edges in the right moments.”

3. A Sense of Humor Is a Sign of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, refers to the ability to perceive, understand, and manage your own emotions as well as the emotions of those around you. And experts agree it’s one of the most valuable skills in any romantic relationship.

According to Martha Tara Lee, a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist, a sense of humor can actually signal high emotional intelligence, because it requires an understanding of others' perspectives and the ability to connect with them on an emotional level.

“On the surface, humor can seem so simple,” says Verber. “Yet, it requires a certain degree of emotional intelligence to be truly adept at making others laugh so seamlessly. The timing and tone must be just right. You need to know the audience and the ebbs and flows of their mood.”

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Empathy, listening skills, and social awareness are major facets of EQ, and Osincup says that making a woman laugh can demonstrate all of these things because it shows how well you can read a situation and act accordingly.

“You can't really be that witty if you're not paying attention to the social cues around you,” explains David N. Brace, a relationship and attraction expert with a background in developmental psychology, and founder of LifeLoveMarriage. “When you’re funny, you’re showing a woman that you’re taking in her nonverbal cues. It shows a deeper communication prowess.”

4. Making Jokes Suggests You Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

“As men, it seems we’re always wanting to portray confidence — but confidence without humility is just arrogance, and humility without confidence is just self-deprecation,” explains Osincup.

“For every comment about your fancy new job title, you might add a story about when your older sister dressed you up as Strawberry Shortcake when you were kids. Now your date can see that you’re not just a high achiever with a good job, but that you’re also fun-loving and easygoing.”

In other words, Adler says, it shows that you’re not vain — you’re comfortable enough in your own skin to be authentic and even poke fun at your own faults.

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Lieberman also points out that joking around may lead a woman to think that you can let things roll off your back a little easier.

“It shows that not everything she says or does will be the end of the world,” she explains.

5. It Also Shows That You’re Agreeable

A 2015 study conducted at the University of Kansas found that the more times a man tries to be funny — and the woman he’s talking to actually laughs at those attempts — the more likely she is to be interested in dating him.

“If you meet someone who you can laugh with, it might mean your future relationship is going to be fun and filled with good cheer,” explained Jeffrey Hall, associate professor of communication studies and a researcher involved in this study.

Hall also noted that having a sense of humor suggests an agreeable personality.

“Being funny is a sign of social competence,” adds Brace. “And that does a lot more than say he may be the life of the party. It signals that he is capable of traversing the social landscape easily and confidently.”

6. Wittiness Keeps a Conversation Interesting

“Humor requires quick thinking, cleverness, and the ability to make connections between seemingly unrelated things,” says Lee. “Women may find intelligence and wit attractive qualities in a partner as they indicate mental agility and the ability to engage in stimulating conversations.”

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Humor is all about subverting expectations, says Adler, so being with a funny guy keeps a woman on her toes in a positive way — and makes ordinary life more exciting and enjoyable. It also shows a certain kind of intelligence that involves snap decision-making and mental flexibility.

“This kind of intelligence is not only valuable in the context of humor but can be an indicator that a man is skilled at quickly observing and judging situations, which is a generally useful skill in all areas of life,” she explains.

7. Humor Is Often Linked to Creativity

Experts also say that when you’re funny, women assume you also must have some level of creativity.

“Showing creativity in romantic or flirting situations shows a man's potential to be a more open and responsive partner in a relationship,” explains Brace. “A creative man can come up with date ideas, ways to help around the house, or make her feel loved. And I think women instinctively know this.”

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Lee also adds that women are often drawn to men who display creativity through their humor, as it can be seen as an indicator of a willingness to think outside the box — something that can be very attractive.

"Funny men possess the unique ability to turn everyday moments into extraordinary memories, leaving women longing for more laughter-filled adventures,” Lee says.

8. It Shows Confidence As Well as Vulnerability

“Humor is also a reliable sign of extraversion and confidence,” Adler tells AskMen. “Making people laugh requires you to put yourself out there, and men who display this kind of charisma tend to be seen as more attractive, regardless of physical appearance.”

Adler says humor also suggests a willingness to be vulnerable for the sake of another person’s happiness.

“The best humor involves risk,” explains Verber. “The joke might fall flat — or worse, might offend someone. It takes a certain amount of vulnerability and courage. Women like both. Vulnerability leads to intimacy and courage to commitment.”

9. Laughter Can Make a Woman Feel More Comfortable

“Women feel more comfortable around people who make them feel open,” explains Brace. “And humor breaks down barriers to communication and intimacy between people. When a woman is laughing with a guy, she’s feeling comfortable and that signals that he is safe. That she can be herself and let loose a bit.”

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