“Why don’t you want My children?” God asked this ‘old geriatric mother’ who wanted to stop at two

Winnie Tomlinson lived the high life as an investment banker in the United States and Hong Kong, travelling frequently and often partying till daybreak. But not many people knew she had left Singapore after her ‘A’ Levels carrying secret shame and pain in her heart. Read Part 1 of her story here.

From aborting her baby to being a mother of two, and from stepping out of a lucrative career in banking to pursuing her calling in missions – God had done a deep work in Winnie Tomlinson in the first four decades of her life.

She was content to continue working hard at leading the missions team at Cornerstone Community Church, and raising her two toddlers then.

But when the COVID pandemic shook the world in 2020, her husband Austin suddenly had a desire for them to move into a new place.

“I wasn’t very keen because we were debt-free then. We had a small place, our two boys and life was good. We were ready to go wherever the Lord calls us to go if He wishes to,” said Winnie.

Celebrating the last Christmas in their apartment in 2020.

Enlarging the place of their tent

But God kept speaking to them to enlarge the place of their “tent”.

Winnie had a dream in which she exchanged her apartment with her parents’, which was a bigger place.

Her Senior Pastor also dreamt one day that she had moved in to become his neighbour.

“Sensing that God was really guiding us on this, we started shortlisting units online, especially those that were in the vicinity of both my parents’ place and that of my Senior Pastors’,” said Winnie.

Each time they wanted to or had visited a potential unit, Winnie would have clear dreams from God about how that particular unit was not “the one”.

“Eventually we narrowed it down to one unit that we were eyeing. But it cost above the budget that we had for it,” said Winnie.

During that time, her intern told her that he had a strange dream about her buying something at a certain cost, lower than its original price (the original price figure matched the selling price of the house they were eyeing). The intern also saw a reddish flowery item in the dream.

Winnie then remembered that there was actually another unit near the one that they were eyeing that was selling at a lower price, but it was marketed badly with dubious-looking pictures so they had not bothered visiting it.

They decided to check out the place, and realised it was not only selling at the figure that the intern had dreamt she had paid for in the dream but that was also the initial budget they had in mind.  When Winnie walked up to its floor, she saw a blooming bush of reddish-pink bougainvillea and knew it was confirmation that God had chosen this place for them.

In 2020, God took them on an unexpected journey to secure a bigger home, complete with a big flowering reddish-pink bougainvillea tree in the patio.

So, in July 2020 when mask-wearing was still mandatory, the Tomlinson’s bought the house that the Lord had led them to. It was three times the size of their former apartment.

“God, why do you need such a big space for us? We are very content in our little shoebox,” Winnie wondered aloud to God then.

“Your place is going to be a house of worship, of community and of hosting His presence,” came His reply.

Since then, the house has become a blessing to many people. Winnie and Austin host their cell group there – an international mix of believers – and it also houses visiting Pastors or guests whenever there is a need.

Hosting an international cell group in their house.

“Shortly after, God revealed to us another reason for our bigger place. He wanted us to have a third child,” said Winnie.

By then, she was already 41 years old and had had two Caesarean sections.

“If I was an old geriatric mother at 36, I would really be considered one now,” she thought.

She pondered over “human concerns” such as financial cost and sleepless nights, and hesitated over whether God was truly wanting them to have another child.

One day, while Winnie was cycling with her husband at East Coast Park, she shared with him everything that God was laying on her heart. She told him how she just had a birthing dream, and a strange desire to have yet another baby despite logical and practical considerations.

A typical bike outing for the Tomlinsons. On one such trip, God spoke to Winnie about having another child.

Just then, she heard His voice speaking clearly in her heart to her: “I want to have more of my children, especially in godly families. Why don’t you want my children?”

Though she was on a two-wheeler then, Winnie wept. Her own heart broke when she was given a glimpse into God’s heart.

Still, her husband Austin was not fully convinced. They agreed to wait upon the Lord and asked Him to send a sign of confirmation within the next 24 hours.

That night, they were with friends when the conversation topic shifted to how another mutual friend of theirs just had a third child.

Their friend then jokingly said to Austin: “Austin, I have a word for you. It’s time for you to catch up (in having a third child).”  

Though it was said in jest, both Winnie and Austin knew then God had spoken and sent His confirmation.

“Psalm 127:3 says that children are a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of the womb is a reward. Children are meant to be a blessing and not a burden,” said Winnie.

“How have we reduced our calculation for having children to our conveniences, our comfort and to dollars and cents? We wait for BTOs, we stop at one or two, and we plan for our careers to stabilise to make more money first. We put our trust in our own wisdom and careers rather than in God to provide,” she added.

When God exposed their wrongful mindsets, they repented deeply and started trying for a baby.

Winnie conceived a few weeks later. However, she had an early miscarriage during a trip to the United States.

The US trip where Winnie experienced an early miscarriage.

“I didn’t understand why that happened, especially since we thought we had heard Him clearly about having a third child. I just felt God’s comfort and grieved,” said Winnie.

As her husband sat with her in the car and held her hands while she grieved, Winnie realised that – unlike the time when she went through the abortion alone – this time she was not alone.

A deeper level of healing despite experiencing loss again

“This time, God was with me and my husband was with me in my grief. That brought me to experience a deeper level of healing and wholeness regarding my abortion in the past,” she said.

Over the next few weeks, three of Winnie’s friends who lived in different countries texted her about them having dreams of her having a third baby.

Winnie resumed life as usual, but that month, Winnie conceived again.

Their third baby, Maria was born in May 2022.

In May 2022, they welcomed their third baby, Maria, into their family.

“She brings light wherever she goes and her brothers love her. One day, I know we will get to reunite in heaven with our other two babies who are waiting,” said Winnie.

With their expansion, God has also blessed the family financially. After Maria was born, Austin landed a new job and had a pay raise.

Winnie, who is now an assistant Pastor at Cornerstone Community Church, does missions training and teaching in church, besides being part of the missions movement Antioch21 core team. She also has a burden for the people in less reached and unreached places.

Winnie speaking at church service.

Their three children are aged eight, seven and three now.

Looking back at her own journey – from wrestling with abortion to singleness and fertility, Winnie knows it is her faithful God who has redeemed her from brokenness and barrenness to greater fruitfulness and multiplication.

A family photo of them back in Minnesota last year.

“What does God’s mandate to be fruitful and multiply truly mean? Let us allow God to enlarge the tents of our hearts and be unselfish in having more natural and spiritual children, so that there will be more mothers and fathers of His house for the great harvest that is coming,” said Winnie.

“There have been far too many abortions and thwarting of His Kingdom’s plans. We are not meant to limit our existence to being Sunday pew warmers. May we let God take hold of our lives and seek out fresh, daily encounters with Him.”

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