When Girls Love Bomb You But Lie

You’re seeing a girl who acts SO into you, so DEVOTED… but then you find out she lied. Why would a girl so into you she BOMBED you with LOVE be lying?

Over on the forum, we had a member who settled into a relationship with a girl who won him over with love bombs. She seemed like such a good girlfriend candidate! Among other things, she:

• Constantly FaceTImed him any day she wasn’t with him.
• Would even fall asleep at night talking to him on the phone.
• Rushed to his place every chance she got to sleep with / talk to him.
• Pledged never to talk to other guys romantically.
• Went out of her way to make sure he wouldn’t “wander off.”

At last, he asked this loving girl to be his girlfriend – and she agreed.

Happily ever after, right?

Except, one day our hero felt a “strong urge” to check his girlfriend’s phone – just to see if all she’d been telling him was true.

Well, spoiler, but it wasn’t. During the time she’d claimed to have cut off contact with all other suitors, she:

1. Was in fact flirting with guys – not just random guys, but guys she “used to sleep with.”

2. In addition to flirting with these men, she was also (during this time she claimed not to be talking to other guys romantically) sending these guys naked pictures of herself!

When our forum member, after discovering this, probed her for more details (without letting on that he knew), asking her if she was in contact with any of her old hookups, she gave him a firm denial. Our forum member, reeling at her deception, then said

And now all my anxieties about being monogamous are coming back and it’s making me feel so shitty. I can tell it’s bad because I couldn’t get hard much last night as we fucked and I just blamed it on being sick. I constantly feel nauseous and can’t get the thoughts out of my mind. I’m constantly scared that the relationship will end now that I know that all these guys were around and I can’t confront her about it due to how I found out and honestly, I don’t even want to because it’s just gonna make me come off as controlling. I wouldn’t have been as bothered if she was honest about it because we were obviously not official. With the relationship being this fresh, I don’t even want to cause much drama already and idk I have a feeling that maybe they’ll all just fall off down the line as the relationship progresses. Maybe I took too long to make it official. It would have been a different case if I made her my girlfriend last year and she had this communication with them.

It’s not helping that lately she’s hinted a few times that our relationship feels a bit too easy like we are so in sync. I try to sprinkle in some uncertainty and do new stuff with her so that boredom doesn’t creep in too early but knowing what I know now kinda makes that “it’s a bit too easy” comment worsen my anxiety.

Why did this girl feel compelled to keep texting – and sexting – her prior flings, even as she love bombed our hero, and at the same time flat-out lied to our hero’s face by claiming she’d cut contact with all other suitors? Is he right to think that this will just “fall off down the line as the relationship progresses”? Did he, indeed, “take too long to make it official”? Perhaps he should have acceded to her love bombs earlier and all this could’ve been avoided. Why does his girlfriend keep hinting that the relationship feels “too easy” though (especially if it’s the case that it “took too long”)?

What does it mean when women love bomb you, and lie?