WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACT WHEN HE TOLD ME HE WAS GETTING MARRIED

The first time I saw Tom, he was with some friends who happened to be my friends too. That day when I saw Tom, I didn’t pay him any attention. I just talked with my friends briefly and walked away.

I kept running into Tom everywhere I went. Once, there was a church dinner and we were both in attendance. I was with my friend Sarah, and Tom was sitting at another table looking my way. Sarah noticed he was looking at me and said, “That guy behind you keeps staring at us. He is not even eating his food.” I turned around and our eyes met. He waved and smiled. I returned his smile. Before I got back to my food, I saw him mouthing something to Sarah and Sarah got up and said, “I’ll be right back.”

Tom came over to occupy Sarah’s seat. He told me, “I didn’t know you would be attending this dinner, I would have asked you to be my date.” I laughed. He requested my number and I gave it to him. He said he’d call me but never called. We continued running into each other on campus.

I went to a party one day and Tom was there with his friends. When they later left the party, I also rushed back to my room. My phone rang immediately after I got into my bed. It was Tom. He said, “I called to tell you to take care. And please, don’t allow any guy to dance with you.” I laughed and told him I was already in bed. He said, “Good girl. If you aren’t sleepy can we talk? We talked for a while.

One day during vacation he asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him I was in a complicated relationship so I couldn’t be with him. He said, “I don’t mind. I will wait for you.” I thought it was weird that he would wait around for my relationship to fail but I said ok.

My boyfriend cheated so I called Tom and said yes to him. The amount of time we spent together doubled. He would come to my room with his laptop and we would watch movies. He helped me type my project work and we had deep conversations.

Life after school, life threw us in different directions. I was posted to Takoradi for my national service and he was posted to Keta. The distance didn’t kill our love. If anything, it blossomed. After national service, I went back to school for further studies while he got a job as a pupil’s teacher in his neighborhood. One day he came to visit me on campus. I was in the kitchen fixing him a meal when I heard him scream. I rushed out of the kitchen to find him staring at his computer. I went over to look. It was a job offer, something big.

I was happy for him but the fact that he had to travel outside Ghana for that job made me sad. When he got there, our communication suffered but we were always hopeful that love would make a way. He came back home, stayed for a while, and went back to his station of work. Communication ceased afterward but I kept trusting in our love to withstand all the tests coming our way. When he came home on another visit, I realized he had changed a lot.

I started asking questions. He gave me excuses instead of answers. I suspected there was someone else in his life. He wasn’t answering my calls like he used to. He rarely visited me and when he did, he wouldn’t answer certain phone calls. We had never fought but he spoke to me as though we were in a fight. I got the message and started withdrawing from him. To further confirm my suspicions, he left the country without telling me. I was really hurt but I kept my cool. I still called and texted him and he ignored me. That was when I stopped contacting him completely.

I was home one day when I heard a knock on my door. I opened the door and found Tom standing there. He said he was sorry for his poor behavior. He gave me a lot of explanations as to why he behaved the way he did. I loved him and true love forgives so I forgave him and took him back. We were the perfect couple all over again. He would pick me up from work. He would take me out and would spend quality time together.

He came to visit me on Christmas day and we got touchy. The touching graduated into sex and for that moment everything looked perfect. During the act, he mouthed something I thought I didn’t hear well. I asked what he said and he repeated, “I’m getting married next month.”

For a moment I got frozen. I pushed him off me. “You’re getting married and the woman you’re getting married to isn’t me? Is that a prank? Tell me it’s a prank before I break down totally.” He answered, “I’m sorry. It’s true. I know you don’t deserve this. You are a good woman but you see…” I screamed, “I see what? No, don’t do that. Tell me where I went wrong. What did I ever do to you that you have to treat me this way?” He answered, “It’s not my fault. It’s you I wanted to marry but my mother doesn’t like your tribe. She threatened to disown me if I ever brought you home.” That was new to me. I asked, “And you didn’t tell me all this while until you’re close to getting married? Who are you getting married to?”

I got dressed up and asked him to leave. I was shattered. It was Christmas day and he chose to serve betrayal as my Christmas gift. I called my friend and cried my heart. She called him and asked why he did what he did. He kept saying he was sorry and that he couldn’t go against his mother’s wishes. I was on the call too but he didn’t know. I blocked him afterward. I needed to focus on my healing.

He got married but I later got my healing. Anytime I thought of what he did to me, I wanted to do something to repay his wickedness. So, one day I called him and told him I needed a loan to sort out an emergency. I mentioned a huge sum of money and he sent it to me immediately. I said to myself, “Shit! I should have asked for more.”

After the transaction, he started calling me, trying to talk his way back to me. I blocked him again. He started coming to my house unannounced. I wasn’t welcoming but he never stopped coming. One day I showed him a little bit of display in my house and he got embarrassed. He never thought I could do that. He apologized and stopped coming to me. The next time he called, he asked for his money. I told him, “I won’t pay. It’s not enough but I will take it as my compensation for the time I wasted with you.” That day if he could punch me through the phone, he would have. I laughed at his outburst of anger which made him more agitated. He swore to deal with me but to hell with him and his empty threats.

I didn’t hear from him for about a year. I thought he wouldn’t contact me again but he is back again texting me and trying to talk his way back to me; “I miss you…” “I want to see you…” “I made a mistake…” and other related nonsense.

The text messages mostly come at night. I read them but don’t reply. He doesn’t give up. The last time, I read a story here about Cindy’s revenge and I decided to do what Cindy did to him. I have tracked his wife and found her Facebook account and her place of work. I am ready for Tom’s next text. If it meets me in a vengeful mood, I will reach out to his wife. Hopefully, that will make him stay away from me forever.

–Ursula,