update: were we wrong not to interview a volunteer for a paid job?

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer asked whether they’d been wrong not to interview a problematic volunteer for a paid job? Here’s the update.

You and the commenters were extremely helpful. I was reassured that the decision itself was not inappropriate, but better communication would have helped a lot along the way (isn’t that always the case?).

One of the first things I did was go back and re-read the personalized rejection I had sent Stephanie after the second interview. I definitely overcompensated and was way too complimentary of Stephanie and her skills, when ideally I would have gently closed the door. I completely own that and recognize that I did not manage expectations correctly. We also found that she was latching on to a comment our director made about one of the skills we were especially looking for that hiring round. Stephanie felt we didn’t adequately emphasize that skill in the job description and give her a chance to talk to us about her possessing that skill. It was a mistake for us to have suggested that skill was related to her rejection — it wasn’t — and it ended up adding to her perception of unfairness. None of that excuses her subsequent behavior, of course, and, realistically, probably wouldn’t have prevented it.

The commenters also honed in on Stephanie’s racist comment about our staff member being a diversity hire. Trust me, I was beyond done with Stephanie as soon as I heard that she had said that, and it made it hard for me to want to extend any compassion toward her hurt feelings. Several commenters suggested that she should have been relieved of her volunteer duties as a result, and in my dream world that would have happened. But the reality is, it’s hard to use what she said as a fireable offense, even though we all know what was behind it. (I have a lot of feelings on this topic, but that’s a whole other post.)

Stephanie claimed she “could act like an adult” and continue volunteering. That’s … debatable. She remained pouty, seething, and would barely look at or speak to me and our director. Being in the same space with her was uncomfortable. There was so much anger and awkwardness coming from her that I didn’t think having an extra conversation with her about why she wasn’t selected was the right move. (For a different candidate, that certainly could have been for the best.) Stephanie eventually dropped one of the weekly tasks she was doing and scaled back on her volunteer efforts overall. I rarely see her anymore, and when I do, she is formal but pleasant.

Due to some recent internal promotions, we actually posted a job opening again this fall. Stephanie did not apply. She did, however, choose a day and time when I am usually in the office to come in and announce to us all in-person that she would not be applying this time. I think she wanted us to understand that it isn’t because she thinks she isn’t qualified, but rather because she neither needs nor wants us. Unfortunately, and by total coincidence, I was out of the office that day and missed her big reveal.

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