update: my coworker screamed at me and HR hasn’t done anything

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer whose coworker screamed at them and HR hadn’t done anything? Here’s the update.

I wrote to you back in 2020 about an incident from 2019 where a coworker had a screaming tantrum. I very much appreciated your input, and that of your commentariat.

Nothing much happened regarding HR and my yelling coworker, Dolores. I’ve taken your advice to heart, that almost all workplace issues are caused by bad management. This was seemingly a situation with a bad coworker, but the problem was exacerbated by the deep incompetence of my boss, Cornelius. He had no idea how to shut Dolores down at the moment, and just spun his wheels about resolving it and he basically left me to fend for myself. Sybil wasn’t great either, and everyone I know has some horror stories about her, and there was some cross-departmental workload drama behind the scenes that was coloring this exchange, but I didn’t need to be involved and the only reason I was was due to Cornelius’s incompetence.

So now, five years on, Cornelius’s old boss has retired, Sybil has semi-retired, Jane has retired, and Cornelius has finally retired. This was thrilling news when it was first announced. However, we’d struggled with his new boss, Gilderoy, as well. Gilderoy would alternate between being sympathetic and understanding about how obstructionist Cornelius was (a little TOO sympathetic, we’re not peers dealing with the same annoying boss, YOU have the authority to change these behaviors!), and deeply frustrated we didn’t just do his work. We all felt that we had a Gilderoy problem just as much as a Cornelius problem, but it was hoped that these were Cornelius-specific management problems. After all, Cornelius was given a new manager every few years when his current boss decided they just couldn’t handle him any more. But alas! Cornelius announced his retirement in January and there still isn’t a replacement, and they didn’t even have a new job description to post until September. Gilderoy absentee-managed us, and refused to make any changes to the substantive issues that we were still dealing with due to Cornelius’s tenure (job misclassifications, understaffing, circular workflows, etc.), leaving it for the new boss to deal with. On one hand, I understand that, but on the other, there was no urgency on hiring and no acknowledgement that waiting indefinitely to, for example, be paid appropriately was a hardship.

So I got a new job! I had to stay with this organization because of the benefits, but a) it’s a massive organization and b) due to the active union I’m a part of (that totally dropped the ball dealing with Cornelius) there was a pretty robust internal transfer network. I took a huge career pivot, but I work a standard schedule (I’d been working 2nd shift for over six years, and due to the chronic understaffing would never be able to get off that shift despite having been promoted) and have WFH days, which was unheard of in my old career. Ironically, Cornelius, who has always been glowing about my work (which was largely his work), was able to serve as a reference for me. I would never have been able to use him as a reference if he were my current manager.

I impressed my new boss with my cover letter, which explained why my skills were transferable, even if it didn’t look like it on my resume. My new boss, dealing with a long empty role, had decided to completely revamp the job description and hiring process, which made me, a non-traditional applicant, extra appealing. The thoughtful hiring process impressed me as an applicant. I was able to (mostly) handle the stress of the interview process by internalizing your advice that hiring communications aren’t a cipher that you need to decode. It truly is just a time-consuming, bureaucratic process. Every email I did or didn’t receive, I’d just say “THIS COULD MEAN ANYTHING.” I’ve been in my new role for a month and it’s been great. It’s definitely a steep learning curve, but I’m filling a long-empty and necessary role, and my co-workers are all thrilled to have me. I get to keep all my benefits, and stay with all my healthcare providers. Most importantly, I get to see my family in the evenings!

Your blog has been invaluable. I’m a regular reader and recommender of your blog. I’ve started numerous letters over the years about my bad boss, Cornelius, or his bad boss, Gilderoy, but ultimately decided not to write. I knew your advice — “your boss is terrible and isn’t going to change.” Over the last six years my partner and I have both had career pivots, written dozens of cover letters based on your resources, and had several successful job searches. I still read your blog every day, but now I’m busy enough that I’m not killing time in the archives.