True Live Story: I Am A Straight Married Man Yet I Am Struggling With Temptation

True Live Story: I Am A Straight Married Man Yet I Am Struggling With Temptation

Hello Lively Stones,

I read your stories and I love how you guys give good advise. Please help me, I think I am loosing control with my struggling with temptation and I have no one to turn to for help because I am ashamed of what I am about to tell you. My wife and I are happily married with a four year old son. We live abroad and we are happy until her younger brother came to live with us, last year. This guy came for his studies and naturally as his family, he moved in with my wife and I. He was very happy to have relocated and before long, he started getting carried away with abroad lifestyle.

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Taye, my wife’s brother is a very handsome guy and its very easy for ladies to be attracted to him. After a while, he got accommodation in the campus and he would only come home like once in a month. After several months, one day he came and we were teasing him if he has gotten a girlfriend yet but he said he is only into his studies for now. But few hours later, I mistakenly walked into him watching gay p@rn in his room. I was stunned and he was shocked that I saw him.

Later, he tried to explain that it was just for fun, nothing to it. I was like, in this country, we don’t judge peoples sexual orientation, so its not my business but he should be careful cos its not something our culture would welcome. He said he understood and we both left it at that. I mean, I felt it was not my place to talk to this guy if he was into all that kind of thing. But that was a mistake. That gave this guy confidence to confide in me that he likes men and women. He would be telling me how it’s a natural feeling and should not be fought.

Many times, I just listened and condoned his actions without his sister, my wife knowing. A few months later, he was leaving for campus after staying with us for a brief time. My wife and I were supposed to give him a ride back to his campus but she could not make it. I had to go alone with him. I noticed throughout the ride back, my wife’s brother kept touching me and flirting with me. I told him to stop cos I was not going to allow him try any sh!t with me. He apologized and said he has been fighting his feelings for me and since I understand him without judging, he wants to show me how grateful he is for my understanding and standing by him. I told him no to worry.

When we got to his campus and his room…we moved his things inside. After a while, he got some beers for us to drink and chill. After a while, he sat close to me and began to fondle me….I said no but he kept saying allow me…just allow me. OMG….I should have run away from him that moment but for some reason, I stayed put. The feeling felt dangerous but exciting. Taye went on and gave me a hand job and I wanted to stay stop but I did not. I was wrong of me and I stayed there. Taye kept saying things like, relax….we are not doing anything…we are just experimenting.

A few minutes later, my d#ck was inside Taye: we were experimenting. One thing I know is:  I am not gay but after that day, I have not stopped thinking about that experience with Taye. I was mad at myself all through the ride back. I blocked Taye and have not spoken to him ever since. I have not been myself. I feel so guilty yet I think about the whole thing all the time…I get hard thinking about it but I h@te myself just for thinking about it. I have tried focusing on having marathon s3x with my wife so I can forget about Taye but I can’t.

Its even better that I cheat on my wife with a woman than a man….and now, not just any man….her own brother. Taye has been trying to use my wife’s phone to reach me since I blocked him. I just say a quick hello and rush off. My wife has asked if I am upset with the brother because she is surprised the brother cannot call me anymore on my phone. I told her no but that my phone is having an issue. I know she does not believe me…she suspects something is wrong. Few days ago, she told me Taye is not going to naija for summer but coming to our house. I vehemently said no and my wife is shocked. She is wondering my sudden behaviour towards her brother. I told her I do not have to explain anything to her but I do not want her brother anymore in our house. She is more confused. She has been asking Taye what he did to me and the guy has said nothing to her.

My wife told me yesterday that if I cannot tell her what her brother did to me, then he is coming to spend summer with us and there is nothing I can do about it. Please I need your advise…do I tell my wife her brother is gay and that is why I do not want him with us? If I tell her….what if she confronts him and he tells her that we both f#cked? Or should I keep quiet and let the guy come around? If he does, I do not trust that something will not happen between us. I already secretly want him to come cos I want to f#ck him again….I have been fighting these evil feelings in me….

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I know I am straight….I have never wanted to be bi or gay….the thought of it never appeals to me….its just this my wife’s brother…I made a mistake with him and I feel like if he comes around me again…I will make the same mistake because he is very manipulating…he made me feel like it was just experimenting…I convinced myself it was…I will never do that again…I do not want to…but if I am being honest, I could be easily tempted if Taye shows up in my house again.

One mind is telling me I can fight the feeling if I can get help or maybe therapy…is that possible? That is why I am putting this out….can I really find a way to fight this thing and still be around Taye? I can’t run from him for the rest of my life…my wife and her family all think Taye looks up to me but they have no idea that I have failed. Taye is now a torn in my flesh. I need help and advise. What do I do?

Anonymous

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