Tips for Hiring Help at Home for Seniors—Making It Easier for Everyone

Let’s be honest: finding the right help at home for a senior loved one isn’t always as simple as flipping through a phone book and picking the first name you see. It’s emotional, a little nerve-wracking, and more than a bit personal. Maybe you’re worried about their safety when you can’t be there, or maybe it’s just gotten a little tougher for them to manage things that used to be second nature. Either way, you want them comfortable and cared for, without sacrificing their independence or their favorite armchair.

Finding the Sweet Spot—Comfort and Trust

First thing’s first: trust your gut. If you’re inviting someone into your parent’s (or your own) home, it has to feel right. Personal chemistry matters as much as credentials, honestly. You could have the world’s most experienced nurse, but if they treat your dad’s dog like an afterthought or roll their eyes at bingo night, the fit is off.

Start with a List—and Plenty of Questions

Before posting a “help wanted” sign, figure out what’s actually needed. Is it a couple hours a week to help with groceries and laundry? Or are you looking for someone to assist with bathing and meds each day? Write out a list—trust me, you’ll forget details otherwise.

Then, put together questions that go beyond, “Have you done this before?” Ask stuff like: “What would you do if there’s a medical emergency?” or “Can you cook a favorite meal?” or even, “How do you feel about pets?” The details say a lot about what kind of rapport they’ll build.

Check Qualified Agencies (and Don’t Skip References)

There’s a big difference between hiring through an agency and going solo. Agencies usually background-check, train, and have backup options if someone calls in sick. They’ll handle contracts and sometimes even insurance. If you’re striking out on your own, definitely ask for several references and actually call them—don’t just glance at the names and move on.

If you’re not sure where to start, AARP has a great resource on hiring in-home help, with solid checklists and advice.

Do a Trial Run

Think of the first week like a soft open for a restaurant. Pay close attention—not just to how well chores are done, but how your loved one feels. Is your mom more relaxed after visits, or a bit tense? Are things easier and calmer, or does it feel awkward or rushed? Don’t be afraid to switch things up if it’s not the right match. It’s your home, your rules.

Communicate Early and Often

Little things get big if nobody talks. Meet with your caregiver now and then and ask what’s working and what isn’t, for both sides. It sets the stage for honesty and keeps minor issues from growing.

Know When It’s Time to Consider Other Options

Sometimes, home help works for years. Other times, a higher level of support is needed. If you find yourself supporting your caregiver more than the other way around, or your loved one’s needs start to outgrow what one person can provide, it may be time to check out what a reputable senior living community can offer.

Getting help at home is a change, but it’s also an act of kindness—to your loved one and to yourself. When you get the right fit, everyone breathes a little easier, and your person gets to keep living life with just a little bit more joy—and hopefully, a bit more rest for you, too.