The Man I Am Supposed To Do Life With Is Doing Another Woman

The way I envisioned my life when I was growing up did not involve bouncing from one relationship to the other. That’s why I didn’t involve myself in boyfriend-girlfriend affairs when I was in JHS and high school. I wanted the first man I date to be the man I marry. Besides, I had a difficult life. I was more interested in raising money to pay school fees than spending time chasing love.

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By and by, I made it to college. Because I didn’t have much of a social life when I was younger, I felt overwhelmed by the tertiary school scene. I couldn’t quite fit in or make friends. So I mostly kept to myself until I reached level 300. That was when I made my first male friend.

He showed me care and attention, something I didn’t know much of. He was always present when I needed him. He became my confidant and study partner. The closeness we shared stirred up feelings in my heart for him. By the time we got to our final year, we were dating.

The relationship started off sweetly. The fact that we were friends first made it easier for us to bond as romantic partners. All along, I thought I was the only woman in his life. Boy, was I wrong?

I found out in our second semester that he had another girlfriend. He didn’t admit it when I confronted him. Rather, he made it look like I was accusing him of things that were not true. “Why are you so insecure? There’s no one in my life but you.”

He said the lady was just a friend and that they were just close. He even gave me her number and told me to call her if I didn’t believe him.

Maybe he didn’t expect me to call but I did. I didn’t want to trust him blindly and find out in the end that I was being played. Who better to tell me the truth than the “other” woman. That’s what I thought. She confirmed his story. She told me they were friends and nothing else. I believed her.

A few months later, I stumbled upon their chats and got to know that she lied to cover his lies. They were more than friends. Once again he denied it but I was relentless. I pushed and probed until he admitted that he had been with the lady since 2017.

Just like us, they were friends who fell in love. However, her parents said she cannot marry a man from Volta Region. Their relationship hasn’t been right since then. They are not officially together, that’s what he said, but from what I saw, they are not over either.

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The problem now is that we all live in the same town. This lady still visits him, sleeps over at his place, and even wears his clothes. In one of their conversations she was telling him she doesn’t feel at peace with what they have because she has to pretend she’s just a friend whenever she visits him.

We are done with school now, and I am doing my national service. I bury myself in work to try and forget about him but I’m struggling. He is my first love so it’s making it hard for me to move on from him.

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When we started this relationship, I thought he was the man I would be with forever. Someone I was going to hustle with and build a future together. Now I feel very lost.

I don’t have any father figure to turn to in this difficult time. That’s why I’m here looking for guidance and comfort. I need someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay.

—Getty

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