THE 5 STAGES OF LOVE (WHERE ARE YOU)

If you’ve ever had the fortune (or misfortune) of being in love, you’ll know that it’s NEVER a smooth ride. Every love has its fair share of ups and downs. 

One day, it can make you feel like it’s impossible for you to contain your happiness but in the blink of an eye, it can leave you feeling completely broken inside. As confusing as this sounds and as random as it feels, love can actually be classified into 5 distinct stages. 

If you want to understand love better, if you want to be less confused about all the different feelings you experience, and if you want to find out if your relationship has completed all 5 stages of love, then read ahead:

Stage 1: Falling in love

You meet this new person. You talk for a while but it just doesn’t feel enough. You feel like there’s something more to this random meeting. So you ask them out on a date. One date leads to a few more. 

And every time you meet, you can’t help but think about how beautiful they look when they smile, you can’t help but be amazed at the way their eyes light up when they’re telling you something about their life, and you can’t help but feel like this person might just be the one for you. 

Everything changes around us when we fall in love—not physically, but emotionally and spiritually—we see things differently, our temper becomes mild, patience rises and imagination expands. 

We try to imagine what the person would have done if they were in our place, what they would be doing at the moment or if they would be thinking about us too.

All of these changes won’t be seen in a dramatic way, not necessarily, but you will feel them. You will the feel the pounding of your heart when you see them, your confidence fluttering and your wish to be seen by them only. 

Love can be desperate—it often is—but as soon as you cross the first stage, you will find yourself in a more comfortable and happy place. 

Falling in love will not only bring a positive change in your mood and make you appreciate the little things in life, but also make you want to be the best person, to be likeable. 

You will work on yourself every minute of the day, and eventually leave behind the things they do not like for the sole reason of falling in love. 

Does this story sound familiar? If yes, then congratulations! You’ve entered the very first stage of love. You’ve experienced how it feels to actually fall for someone.

Stage 2: Coming closer as a couple

In stage two, your love starts to really grow. You start to feel like the initial excitement, laughs, and romance are gradually evolving into a deeper and even more meaningful connection. 

This new person has taken over your life. They’re in your thoughts. They’re in your dreams. They’re in your everyday life. And you realize that your life no longer revolves entirely around your own self but it has started to revolve around this new relationship as well. 

The things you used to do alone now involve them too, even if they are not present in the moment because your mind is always revolving around them. 

The magical process of thinking about a person and missing them when they are not around you starts in this stage. It does go on in other stages too but is the strongest here, since all the feelings and emotions are new and so is your interest in them. 

‘Coming close as a couple’ means evolving as human beings in terms of affection and understanding. This stage teaches us a lot of about love, life, expectations and selfless happiness since our life starts revolving around someone other than us. 

It can be called the best stage of falling in love; the tickly feeling of holding hands while walking, the wish to shower them with presents and cook them their favorite food on a special day are all too magical. 

A lot of couples agree that this stage of falling in love is indeed the best and most pleasant one, and some are lucky enough to never get over this stage which is no less than a dream. 

This is the stage where some couples decide to move in together or even get married. It’s the stage where both of you are extremely sure about everything, where you feel that this love will definitely last a lifetime.

Stage 3: Getting disillusioned

All the confusion and uncertainty that accompanies love tends to be the main theme of stage 3. This is the stage where one or sometimes both the partners start to feel unsure about what direction their relationship is going to take. 

They start to question whether they even made the right decisions in the previous two stages.Although it is normal for human beings to be doubtful about things, yet we feel bad for doubting the relationship that we thought was so perfect. 

We discover each other’s flaws and for some time, our mind unconsciously concentrates on the flaws only, making us even more unpleasant a partner. But that phase is replaced soon if the two people have the heart for it, 

if they love each other enough to know the differences and respect them because that is the only way relationships thrive this stage; unconditional love, holding on to the good bits and remembering that person you love is more than just their habits. 

This is the stage where you feel like things are starting to fall apart and where everything about this relationship starts to feel wrong, without any specific reason. You find yourself getting angry and resentful about the smallest things. 

You feel like there’s very less love and intimacy left in your relationship and you start to feel hopeless. All you want to do is bring back the passion, the initial spark or just any kind of chemistry but you just don’t know how to do it. But the key is in finding the way to do it. 

A lot of talking helps in this stage—when things do not seem to go the best way and the nature of the relationship is not as romantic as it used to be—so talk. Getting disillusioned is not an impossible stage to deal with although it sure is difficult. 

Paying more attention to the good days you have spent with them, all the happy places you have been to with them and all the times you have felt comfortable in their arms is the way to move on from stage 3. 

Passing stage three is not an easy task. Very few couples have the potential to survive this stage but when they do, their relationship ends up getting even stronger and they start to feel more in love than ever before.

Stage 4: Working on a true and lasting love

Once you pass the hard times of stage three, stage four acts as the much-needed reward. 

This stage begins once you’ve figured out the bottom cause of all the conflict and pain in your relationship and are now working together to resolve all your issues. The essence of resolving your issues lies in the ability to understand that nobody in this world is perfect. 

Your partner has lived their entire life with their own share of insecurities, faults and imperfections and so have you, therefore it is in the interests of both of you to accept those insecurities, faults and imperfections and move on to lead a happy life with them. 

From time to time, trying to make each other feel secure would be the best thing to do, to not only make them feel better about themselves but also to strengthen the relationship. 

The fourth stage is actually the stage where you fall in love with their imperfections, where you realize that they are not perfect, yet they are perfect for you, that no one else will ever be this perfect for you. 

When you want to work on building a true and lasting love, it is necessary for you both to help each other grow, to help each other leave behind all your fears, and to help each other heal all your past wounds. 

Once this healing process starts for both of you, you’ll feel all the love and passion start to enter your relationship again and you will know that you have gotten over stage four, leaving behind any potential reasons to stay away from each other. 

Your love will grow stronger as you will work on a true and lasting love every day by being there for each other in times high and low and by putting your selfish interests behind to deal with each other’s problems. 

That is how love has always survived and thrived and if yours does too, it will be exemplary. Stage four will be when the rough, doubtful times will be over, and you will have learned what love actually is.

Stage 5: Taking on the world with your love

The world is not an easy place to live in. There are times when you get so caught up with all the stress at work, all the negative people who keep bringing you down, all the problems that never seem to end, that you start to lose hope. 

But when you find and build a true and lasting love with someone, you reach this final stage of happiness, this stage where no amount of negativity and no amount of stress can ever bring you down. Because the only thing that truly matters is the fact that you’ll always have this one amazing person by your side. 

They are the first thing you see in the morning and the last one at night, and that becomes enough for you to remember whenever stress knocks on your door. Life is all about ups and downs and can be pretty rough sometimes, but if you have a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on all the while, the rough can become easy and the ups and downs both pleasant.

It cannot be denied that the power of two is greater than a unit, and when the power of love combines with it, one can only imagine wonders taking place. So when you have that person you think you can take on world with, hold on to them, because you can do great things if you have the perfect amount of love and appreciation with you—that is a fact. 

The last stage of love is the first and happiest stage of a strong and healthy relationship. It teaches you how every problem can be dealt with and every hindrance cleared off with the power of love. Believing in each other and never letting go is essence of all the five stages.