SIGNS THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS HEALTHY

1. You still celebrate your Anniversary

2. You still laugh and joke

3. You know each other's past without the fear of judgment

4. You don't snoop on each other, you don't investigate each other's phone, Facebook, clothes, you trust each other

5. You have disagreements but don't get scared that disagreements mean the death of your love. You make up quickly

6. You don't have things you can't talk about, no topic is a no go zone, you don't keep secrets from each other

7. You both feel valued

8. You don't have sex to prove your love is OK, you don't hide behind sex. Many couples have a pathetic bond but console themselves all is well because the sex is great

9. You two are best friends, not just lovers

10. You don't feel self-conscious about your body or your body marks around each other

11. You don't always have to talk when you're in the same room. Sometimes love is spoken in silence, sometimes a cuddle or a stare of love is enough

12. You speak the language of touch and kiss even when sex is not the agenda. He rubs her hand as she talks, she kisses his cheek to say thank you, he holds her waist when he finds her in the kitchen, she squeezes his hand when he feels lost

13. You feel empowered to correct each other

14. You can look at each other's eyes or listen to the tone of voice and know if your spouse is OK, sick, happy, tired, annoyed, disturbed; you are an open book to each other

15. You still tease each other, flirt, spank each other, and are still playful

16. You inform each other of your day's schedule. Being busy doesn't unsettle any of you

17. You don't struggle to communicate, you don't look for the right words, your heart is in the right place and so you speak from the heart

18. You affirm each other and let each other know they are loved and cared for

19. You still make wow moments together that add to your sweet memories

20. You face challenges together, none feels alone

21. You don't feel used or that you are doing too much

22. You don't feel ashamed to ask for your spouse's help even if you have done so many times already. You don't feel you are a burden

23. You are naked spiritually, emotionally, financially and unashamed, you truly know each other

24. Tears are not something you hide from each other

25. You take advantage of any opportunity or time to be together no matter how brief

26. Your spouse is the first person you think of when something good or bad happens, first person you share it with

27. You still pray together

28. You witness each other's failures, weaknesses, mistakes and sins yet still remain together, covering each other and bettering each other

29. You have secret codes, phrases and names that only the two of you know the meaning and history of

30. You tidy each other up; she straightens his tie, he wipes the particle on her face, he zips her dress for her, she advises him on what to wear

31. You share with each other truths, videos and articles that better your lovelife

32. You love to catch up on how the day has been

33. You don't always talk about love, parenthood and romance; you also talk about issues, current affairs, business, topics affecting society and even have a healthy debate or discussion

34. You never threaten to leave in order to get your way in the marriage. You don't use blackmail or the information your spouse confided in you to advance your selfish agenda

35. You feel really bad when you hurt each other and are quick to apologize and forgive

36. You still find ways to please each other and make each other smile

37. You make decisions together

© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliechi