She Kept Saying She Doesn’t Ask Men for Money Then Continued Emptying My Wallet

We met in a very posh office where she served at the inquiry desk. The first time we talked, I found her smile charming and her words very welcoming, but I didn’t have the courage to ask for her number. I went there the next day and saw her, more beautiful than the way I found her. Again, we talked, and I pretended to go to the next office to transact business. On the third time, I asked her, “Is it possible to have your contact so I don’t come here every day? I will just call and make my enquiry on the phone before I come here?”

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

I think she knew I was lying, but she gave me her number anyway and flashed me a smile that said, I will be expecting your call soon. I called in the evening, and before I could introduce myself, she mentioned my name: “Nicholas, good to hear from you.”

She was on her way home, so we talked on the phone until she got home. I told her she was the reason I kept coming to the office. I told her I would love to see her again, so I would pass by the office very soon. I asked if we could be friends, and she answered in the affirmative. I saw her in her office three days later. I ordered lunch for her and told her, “If I asked you to go to lunch with me, you would have said no. Here, I brought the lunch to you.”

She was so happy she couldn’t stop flashing her signature smile. She called it thoughtful and called me kind. She asked when she would have the opportunity to repay my kindness. I told her friends do more for their friends, so she shouldn’t worry.

A week after the initial conversation, we were talking every day and making good plans to meet outside of her office. She mentioned a place, and we met there one Saturday afternoon. We had a very beautiful date, talking about life and how we’d lived it. When it was getting late, she called an Uber and left the scene, while I later looked for a trotro going my way and boarded it.

On the phone that night, I proposed to her. I could imagine her smiling that beautiful smile. She said, “So soon?” I answered, “When you love someone, soon is enough to let them know before you lose them.” She asked for time to think about it, which I agreed to.

We planned another date, and she chose the venue. I went there and met her seated in all her glory. It was such an expensive place, but I didn’t complain. I knew it happens at the initial dates, but once she accepted my proposal and we started making serious plans, those kinds of places wouldn’t feature in our plans. We ate, we drank, and again she called an Uber and left.

When she got home, she texted, “I’m not the kind of girl who will ask you for money. I find it very hard to do that, but this is the second time and you still didn’t give me money for my Uber.”

I apologized and told her I didn’t think of it that way. I asked how much, and she mentioned GHC300. I didn’t know if I was paying for that night’s Uber or if I was paying for both times we had met. I sent her MoMo and expected a thank you, but all she said was, “I’ve received it.”

A few days later, she called to accept my proposal, which honestly made me very happy. She said we should go out and celebrate it. She said she had taken her time, thought through many options, and had made the best choice in me, so we should go out and celebrate it.

Again, she selected the venue. Another expensive place, but this time I told her to change it to a more affordable place because of the period of the month we were in. There was surprise in her voice, but I didn’t mind. I selected a place I knew I could afford, and we met there. The food was good, and the music soothing. The drink was chilled enough to calm every raging heart. We had a swell night, and she ordered her Uber. This time I asked how much, and she mentioned GH¢95.

I went through my wallet and gave her GH¢100. Later, when she got home and we were talking, she told me, “I’m not the kind of girl to ask for money from my man. It’s very hard for me to do that, but I’m wondering why you gave me the exact amount I mentioned as my Uber fare. Kindly send me something for the week.”

I sent her GHC500, and all I got in return was, “I’ve received it.” No thank you. No God bless you. I was noticing the pattern and praying it wouldn’t happen again, or maybe not too soon. Just a week later, she asked for an outing, and I told her to come to my place instead. We had dated for a while, but she didn’t know where I lived, and I didn’t know where she lived.

She came, and for the first time we kissed. She asked for food, and I ordered it. She ate and slept. I tried to be touchy, but her body language and the reading of the room said she wasn’t comfortable with that, so I stopped. I allowed her to sleep until she ordered an Uber again, and I paid for the fare. The next day she texted, “I’m not the kind of woman who asks her boyfriend for money. It’s very hard for me to do that, but why do you always want me to ask before you give me something? I was with you, but you gave me only my Uber fare. Please send something to your girl for the week.”

I responded, “It’s very hard for me to say this to a woman I’m dating, but let me ask: is it all about money? I thought you were working?”

She was quiet for a while, breathed very hard, before telling me she was sorry to ask for money. She didn’t know asking for money would upset me. I asked, “So apart from Uber, you don’t do any kind of transportation?” She asked, “Does that also bother you?” I replied, “It doesn’t, as far as you’ll be paying for it going forward.”

She got triggered and said, “Fine. I won’t ask for anything from you again,” and then cut the call.

Since then, we haven’t had the best of relationships. She’s giving me attitude, which I don’t mind, because everything she’s doing is helping me to know the kind of woman she is. But what pains me most is the fact that we haven’t done anything intimate. She has taken from me but has given nothing back. If I allow the relationship to end this way, I’m the one who has lost.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

I don’t mind rebuilding the bridge that would lead to sex and later collapsing the bridge, because I’m also the kind of man who finds it very hard to let a woman spend my money without getting anything back. I have time. I can pursue. I can put money on the table just to get her excited and get what I want and later walk away, because it looks like she also came with a plan to just chop my money and walk away.

What do you think? Is she worth pursuing for any kind of serious relationship, or should I get my investment’s worth and walk away?

—Nicholas   

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******