She adopted three children, then opened her home up to three more teenagers

On a Monday afternoon, Wendy Foong steps into a flat in Hougang, where two teenage brothers, Aiden (not his real name), 15, and his 14-year-old sibling, are just waking from an afternoon nap.

With practised ease, Wendy begins tidying up, picking up an empty can and an instant noodle wrapper. Soon, Aiden joins her, folding clothes and washing dishes. “Don’t leave the tap running – you’ll waste water,” she reminds him.

It is the sort of exchange one might expect between a parent and child. But Wendy is not their mother.

As a volunteer befriender with MWS Covenant Family Service Centre (CFSC), the 52-year-old has spent the past year journeying alongside these two brothers and their 18-year-old sister. With their father in prison and their mother, a stroke survivor, in long-term residential care, the siblings had been navigating life without proper adult supervision.

Drawn by compassion

A homemaker with three adopted children of her own, Wendy first learnt about the family through her church mate, Karen, a social worker at MWS CFSC who was supporting Aiden’s sister.

As tertiary education made it harder for the sister to care for her younger brothers, Karen began looking for a volunteer befriender. Moved by their circumstances, Wendy stepped forward.

The decision felt natural. Unable to have biological children due to a rare spinal condition, Wendy and her husband chose to adopt. Years of raising three adoptive children battling anxiety, rejection and insecurity issues had deepened her empathy and sharpened her sensitivity to the needs of others.

Befriending the teenagers felt like a natural extension of that journey, and an opportunity to fulfil a long-held desire to foster.

“I have a lot of love to give, as I have received so much myself,” Wendy says.

From chores to connection

When Wendy first visited the siblings’ home, she was met with clutter, dust-coated furniture and piles of clothes strewn across the floor.

“There was a bad stench and trash everywhere,” she recalls. “You had to move things just to find a place to sit.”

For the first few weeks, besides bringing meals and groceries, Wendy focused on cleaning the home: Folding clothes, sweeping floors and clearing rubbish. Sometimes, her own children pitched in too.

Conversations began amid the housekeeping. Before long, she invited the brothers to join in the chores. As household skills were built, so was trust.

“All these conversations happened while we were doing things together,” Wendy says. “We talked about school, friends, family and life.”

Slowly, the walls began to come down.

When stories spark conversation

Movies and television shows watched over meals at Wendy’s home became a gateway to deeper conversations.

“Movies open up opportunities to talk about a lot of things,” she explains. “They allow me to share my views on topics like friendships, relationships and boundaries, while also giving me a chance to hear what’s on their minds.”

One afternoon, while watching the Singaporean movie Ah Boys To Men, a scene about bullying struck a chord with Aiden. Living with autism, he often felt different from his peers and was ostracised at school.

“Sometimes, people can’t handle differences, and discrimination happens,” he says. Years of bullying left him withdrawn and isolated. But having someone willing to listen made a difference.

“Wendy told me that you can’t control people’s behaviour, but you can always choose how you respond to it,” he relates. “Once I got it off my chest, I felt much better. I used to feel very isolated, but now I have someone I can talk to about my worries and problems.”

More than a befriender

Over time, Wendy became a trusted adult in the teenagers’ lives. The brothers turn to her for advice on everything from school to matters of the heart, while their sister has formed a close friendship with Wendy’s youngest daughter and often stays over at their home.

Along the way, Wendy taught them everyday life skills, from cooking to manners and personal hygiene, even, as she puts it, “telling them to use soap when they shower”.

Despite their deepening bond, Wendy is careful not to replace their mother.

“I’m very conscious that I’m not their mother, and I wish for them to be close to their mother,” she says. To nurture that bond, Wendy would drive the siblings to visit their mother at the nursing home where she lives. “I’ve done that a few times just to assure their mother that I’m not here to steal her role.”

She even stopped taking the boys for haircuts after learning that their mother had brought them to a barber near the nursing home. “Now, I encourage them to go (for haircuts) with their mother,” Wendy says.

“Whatever their mother can do with them, I’d rather she did it.”

A different kind of reward

Volunteering has not always been easy. There have been unanswered messages and missed appointments.

“It can be quite frustrating and thankless,” Wendy admits. “Many times, I’ve made the trip only to find that they had forgotten about our appointment or weren’t home.”

Yet, she keeps showing up. “Ultimately, I tell myself I’m doing this unto the Lord, and the outcome isn’t mine to control,” she says. “I simply do what I feel called to do.”

Her motivation stems from gratitude. “I feel grateful to God, and this is my way of saying thank you in a tangible way,” says Wendy, who also volunteers in several other capacities, including befriending the homeless.

“To me, volunteering is not simply about giving or doing things for people; it is also about being present and available to offer emotional support when it is needed most.”

The greatest reward, she added, is simple: “Being there for people who might otherwise feel unseen, unheard or overlooked.”

This story first appeared in Methodist Message. 

If you are inspired to make a difference, check out volunteering opportunities at www.mws.sg/volunteer or email volunteer@mws.sg.

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