People who never seem to catch a break in life usually display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

Some people are just always busy.

Or that’s how they appear, anyway. In reality, their “busyness” may have more to do with their priorities and less to do with how much they’ve got going on.

So, what are the 7 behaviors of people who never seem to catch a break in life?

Let’s find out.

1) They’re always “busy”

Starting off with the most obvious one, busyness is a bit of a modern plague. Nowadays, being busy is the most common excuse you could think of.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against being busy. In fact, some researchers even suggest that being on the go and having things to do can positively impact one’s lifestyle.

But balance is everything.

If you’re too busy to look after yourself, spend time with your family, and make healthy choices…

No wonder you can never catch a break!

You’re not granting yourself the time to ditch the word “busy” for a while and just savor the present moment for what it is.

In other words, you don’t allow yourself to slow down. And that can have disastrous consequences, from burning out to neglecting your relationships to the point of no return.

If you’re always busy, it’s time to take a step back, look at your priorities, and reorganize them so that you can live a happier, more sustainable life.

2) They prioritize work over relationships

While we’re on the topic of priorities, did you know that your relationships are much more important than your career where your happiness and health are concerned?

Yeah.

No matter how much you love your job, you work to live, not live to work, and when you’re on your deathbed, you’re probably not going to think of that invoice you sent a bit too late or that email you were really proud of.

You’ll think of your family and friends, of experiences that held a lot of emotional truth, and of celebrations with your loved ones (rather than the achievements you were celebrating).

What’s more, humans are programmed to exist in groups, and it is precisely when we’re surrounded by people we love that we become better able to regulate our emotions, calm down, and enjoy life for what it is.

Unfortunately, many people don’t realize just how vital their relationships with others are until it’s too late.

Don’t be that person. Make time for the people who matter.

3) They’re hyper-independent

Speaking of human relationships, many people who never seem to catch a break kind of impose that fate upon themselves without even realizing it.

How so?

They refuse to ask for help and insist on doing it all on their own.

Soon, they get so overwhelmed by work and responsibilities that they don’t know what to do first, and slowly but surely, they begin to despise their lives because they never get the chance to recharge and just… be.

According to the trauma and relationship specialist Annie Tanasugarn Ph.D., CCTSA, hyper-independence can be a trauma response and a coping mechanism we develop during childhood, and it can have a very damaging impact on our lives.

She writes, “A staunch refusal to accept help in the workplace may put a person at risk for taking on tasks they don’t know how to do or that are not in their job description, which can lead to making mistakes and risking job security.”

“In romantic relationships, hyper-independence often comes across as dismissive, avoidant, or with communication breakdowns between partners, adding anxiety and undue stress to the relationship.”

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this article, it’s that you don’t have to do it all alone.

4) They tie their self-worth to external achievements

Do you know what it means to well and truly catch a break?

It means you reconnect with yourself. It means you get to know yourself on a deep internal level. It means you achieve nothing much externally because all the important stuff is happening on the inside.

If you were raised to be an overachiever who ties their sense of worth to their accomplishments, though, you may find it difficult to accept those kinds of situations as valuable and productive.

There is no reward for reading a self-development book and trying out some exercises from it.

There is no praise for shifting your mindset and untangling false narratives you have about yourself so that you can live more freely.

And that’s okay.

Do you know why?

Because you don’t need other people to validate you. You don’t need the world to see that you’ve grown, changed, and accomplished something.

Thus the first step toward genuine self-love: learn how to validate your own experiences and feelings. Accept that internal change is just as important (if not more than) external achievements.

5) They’ve fallen for the toxic productivity trap

When I was younger, I didn’t only measure my worth based on my accomplishments but also based on my productivity score.

If I felt too tired to be “productive” and get stuff done, I failed and felt immensely guilty for it. “Today was of no value,” I’d think. “I completely wasted my time.”

That was before I realized that rest and relaxation are just as productive as work.

It’s simple, really. If you were to work each and every day, you wouldn’t be able to keep your performance up to standard. Your batteries would eventually run out.

When you take a proper break (without feeling guilty or thinking about work), you’re recharging yourself in the same way a phone does when it’s plugged into the socket overnight.

Moreover, research shows that it is often in these moments of relaxed thought (“the incubation period”) that we experience lightbulb moments because our brains continue to process everything in the background even when we’re not paying attention.

As a writer, I find this to be true. I always get the best ideas when I take the day off and just enjoy myself.

Rest is productive. Taking a break is productive. Slowing down and reconnecting with yourself is productive.

Don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise.

6) They invest very little time into self-care

When I say “self-care”, you’re probably thinking of face masks and bubble baths.

Don’t get me wrong, I love both. But self-care is actually much less glamorous and much more complex than evenings spent in the bathtub.

Self-care is about being with yourself. It’s about making an active decision to prioritize your mental well-being every day, even if just for ten minutes.

It’s a five-minute meditation session that helps calm down your nervous system. It’s ten minutes of yoga in the morning. It’s half an hour of reading a great fantasy book.

It’s cleaning your room because you know you’ll feel much better once it’s done. It’s making yourself a nutritious meal or painting your nails because you know you’ll feel more confident.

It’s journaling about your childhood wounds and trying to figure out why you are the way you are, reading up on psychology and trauma, learning more about yourself by picking up new hobbies, and losing yourself in the creative process of painting or writing even though the end result is rubbish.

When you invest time and energy into self-care, you’re telling yourself, “You matter. And you deserve to catch a break.”

7) They want to remain in control no matter what

One of the reasons you don’t allow yourself to take a break and just chill out is that you want to believe you are fully in charge of everything that happens to you.

The idea of having very little control over your life is terrifying, and so you cling to a semblance of power as much as you can.

But I know from personal experience that this is an incredibly heavy responsibility to carry.

What’s more, it does not reflect reality, which means that no matter how hard you work or how much you worry, you’ll never be able to 100% decide your fate.

Yes, you have personal agency. But there is also a great deal of things you can’t influence, be it today’s weather, the fact that you got laid off by your company, or your partner’s feelings toward you.

And that’s scary, I know. But isn’t it also exciting? Isn’t it thrilling that life will lead you to places you’ve never been before, that there is still so much awaiting you, and that no matter what happens, you’ll eventually be okay?

Here’s what’s helped me let go of control and become a much more optimistic person: faith.

No, I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about the simple idea that every choice you make is meant to lead you to your destination, that the universe conspires in your favor, and that every failure is also a lesson.

You are exactly where you are meant to be.

And you are free to co-create your life, which means that sometimes, you’ve got to work hard, and sometimes, you’ve got to take a step back and let the current take you wherever you’re supposed to go.

Isn’t that amazing?

So, go ahead and take a break. Slow down. Take a deep breath. And trust that every step forward is a step toward the life you are meant to live.