My Mother Told Me My Father Was Dead Until I Found Him Alive Years Later

Growing up, I didn’t see my father. The first time I asked about him, my mom threatened me with death, saying that the next time I asked about my father, I wouldn’t see the next morning sun. I was a child. I kept quiet while she talked about the evils of my dad. But the story kept changing.

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One day she said she was happy my dad died the time he did. The next time she said wherever my dad was, she wished him nothing but curses. Another time, she said my dad should never find peace in the grave he’d be placed in. So I asked, “Is Dad dead or alive?”

She answered, “He’s dead to us. That’s the most important thing.”

I asked my aunts and uncles. I asked my grandparents, and they all didn’t have anything positive to say about my dad. They talked about him with angst in their eyes, like he was the worst devil to ever live. My grandfather, before he died, told me, “You’re a woman. Pray you find a good father in your husband.”

Two years ago, the feeling of getting to know my dad grew so strong I couldn’t go a day without thinking about him. So I called one of my aunts whom I got to know later in life. I begged her to tell me the truth. I promised to give her anything she wanted if she told me where my dad was. She said, “Your dad doesn’t know you exist. Your mom told him she got you aborted. It was your grandfather’s idea. I won’t go far into it, but that’s what happened.”

She was the one who showed me my father’s family house and where I could go and find him. One early morning, I set off to find my father. I spent three days in the village. No one could believe my story. They called him, and he laughed on the phone. He asked, “Are you sure she’s of sound mind?”

I took the phone and narrated everything my aunt said. He said, “Let me call you on a video call.” He saw my face and burst into tears. He kept repeating, “Wow, wow, wow… Is your mom aware you’re going around looking for me?”

He invited me to his place and had a DNA test done. He said, “I’m not doubting you, but I want to be very sure.” When he saw the results, he smiled and asked, “So why would Agatha do this to me? Her parents didn’t like me, but I thought she loved me. Did your aunt tell you why?”

My dad has four male children. He said he tried having a girl, but it didn’t happen. He’s a renowned contractor and has his life figured out. I didn’t look for him to be part of his family. I wanted to meet him, and I did. When I finally told my mom I’d met my dad, she asked, “You were able to locate his grave? Who took you there?”

I asked why she lied to me and why she lied to my dad. Instead of telling me the truth, she screamed at me, threatening me with a curse just to kill off my questions. I told her, “It’s okay. It’s your own story, so keep it to yourself, but don’t you ever dare try to steal my own story from me.”

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Today, I talk to my dad every day. He has come to visit me twice and has asked me if I need anything. I’ve met my other siblings and have met his beautiful wife. Dad is eager to fill the lost years. I see it in his eyes, and the fact that I’m a woman also gladdens his heart so much that he said, “I didn’t die without a girl child. Thank God!”

—Doreen

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