My Husband’s Girlfriend Called Me and I Chose Silence

My husband’s girlfriend contacted me. She said she wanted me to know what my husband was doing behind my back. She said she wasn’t the only girl and that currently, there was another girl who was pregnant for him. She found out about it on his phone, so she was telling me to be careful. I asked her, “Do you care this much about me? And you went ahead to date my husband?” She replied, “I didn’t know he was married from the start, but that doesn’t matter. Just be careful.”

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When my husband came, I told him, “Tell your girlfriends to stop calling me. If they don’t know their boundaries, teach them, especially the one you got pregnant.”

I wasn’t angry. I said it casually, like the way you would talk to a friend who is messing up. He shrank suddenly, and since then, he has been apologizing to me, telling me the devil came over him. I asked what he was going to do about the one who was pregnant, and he answered, “I don’t believe I’m the one responsible. She has another man.”

I’m not fighting him. I’m rather fighting against myself. I’m not surprised this is happening. I’ve always known it, talked about it, and fought about it, but he always denied the truth.

Now that the truth is on my lap, I know what to do, and it’s going to be very silent. When our girl is on vacation, I’ll leave with her and go to a place I’m renting very soon. He wouldn’t even know where I am to come and apologize. I’ll tell my dad to send the drink back to my husband’s family because our marriage is over.

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I know if I try anything right now, it will be loud. Families will meet and tell me not to leave. Respectable people will decide for me and tell me he has regretted it, so I should forgive him. That’s too loud and too hectic. I don’t want to go through all that. I’m a peaceful woman, and I want to maintain that, even through the divorce process.

—Maame Bee

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