My Boyfriend’s Wife Called Me, Not to Fight But to Ask for Money

He’s not the kind of man I would have loved to date, but I was a girl in need, so when he proposed and I realized he could pay, I said yes. When I said yes, he sent me MoMo and said, “This is an appreciation MoMo. Get yourself something you haven’t been able to get for yourself.”

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Whenever we talked, he asked me if I needed something. I usually told him, “I’m not comfortable asking for things, so whatever your heart says you should give me, I’m ready to accept.”

He would either send MoMo because he said he wasn’t a good picker of gifts. If I told him what I wanted, he also bought them for me.

I realized he wasn’t often in town. He was traveling in and out, so in a week I could see him just once. I wasn’t worried, but he was rather worried. He was worried I would fall for someone or even cheat on him. I’m a loyal girl. I don’t do another man until what I have is gone. I kept telling him I was there for him.

He would call on video and ask us to get naughty. He would send a message out of the blue and ask me to send him something crazy. I did, and in return, he sent me money or bought me something I needed. I was in school and trying to also sell something so I could afford my own lifestyle. He said he was willing to invest.

When he was gone for over a month and I hadn’t seen him, I got angry. He wouldn’t pick up my calls like he used to or even answer my text messages. So one morning, I sent him a message: “Whatever is making you ignore me is very important, I’m sure. But trust me, by the time you get the time to talk to me, I would be gone.”

He called back, giving me plenty of excuses about work and about his boss being demanding and the area not having strong network. Because he sensed anger in me, he sent me money and said, “Get something to calm your raging heart. I’ll come with more to cool it down.”

He was back in a week, and a few days later, I had a call from a woman who said she was the wife of the man I was dating. I was stunned. “You mean Andrews? Or you’re mistaking me for another person?” I asked. She said, “I’m talking about the same person. He was home with me when he was ignoring you.”

This woman was too calm for a woman who had discovered the woman her husband was cheating with. She said she didn’t call to attack me but rather because she needed my help, and that I shouldn’t tell her husband that she called.

I got scared and started thinking about the worst. “What help, if I may know?” I asked her. She told me she was going to call back later because their last child was calling for attention. I’m a very tough girl. Yes, I didn’t know he was married, but even if I knew and he was ready to spend on me, I don’t think I would have said no. It wasn’t love that brought us together. I needed what he had, and he also needed what I could give.

I didn’t tell him anything while waiting for what the wife would say. She called four days later. She said she needed money. “I’ve read your messages, and one thing I realized was he gives you whatever you want. Unfortunately, it’s not the same with me. We have three kids, but he cares less. I need to beg him for ages before he drops a penny in my bowl.”

She said she needed GHC5,000 and didn’t mind if I could get her half of it. She needed that much to sort her life out and probably leave the marriage. I thought she was joking. Andrews could give me GHC5,000 in a day and couldn’t do the same for his wife? I asked her to give me one month to collect GHC10,000 for her.

I was dealing with two issues: the fact that he lied to me and the pain I experienced knowing he didn’t care about his own wife. I started making demands. He sent me the GHC5,000 in one week, and I sent it to his wife. As I kept making demands, he became suspicious. When he needed intimacy, I gave him excuses. He knew me enough to know I wasn’t the same girl, but when he asked questions, I told him, “Get me the money and see if I won’t be happy again. There’s fire in my house. How can I be happy?”

It took him a month to give me the extra GHC5,000 in two installments. I sent them to the woman, and she called every day to say thank you. The only legal wife in Ghana who blesses her husband’s side chick.

I asked him, “When are you going to tell me you’re married?”

He swore heaven and earth he wasn’t married. He even made me feel the woman had lied to me to get money from me. I was confused. I nearly told him what had happened when he asked who told me. Fortunately for me, he broke down and confessed right at the point I was about to tell him what had happened.

He said he was married, but he was getting a divorce very soon. That was why he didn’t tell me. I told him, “I can’t forgive you for lying to me, but if you say you’re getting a divorce, show me proof, and I may reconsider.”

He spun all the balls of lies he could muster, begging me not to leave and saying he was about to do more in my life because I was truly the woman he loved. When all was well, he could be gone for weeks and I would not hear from him. When the tables turned, I saw him every day, begging me to change my mind. “I have nothing to change. It’s you who has to show me proof.”

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It’s been months now. No single proof has come from him, but he keeps coming. Meanwhile, his wife calls to say thank you and asks me what is happening with him. She would then say, “He doesn’t know what’s about to hit him. He would have worn a metal helmet by now.” I don’t know what is about to hit him either, but whatever it is, I hope it breaks his legs and makes him walk with a limp so that by his walk, we shall know the kind of man he is.

—Dufie

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