I’ve Been With Him 4 Years But He Won’t Talk About Our Future

I have been in a relationship with Adam for 4 years now, and I have shown him nothing but pure love. During the early stages of our relationship, he would …

Relationship Sep 30, 2025 0 9 Add to Reading List

I’ve Been With Him 4 Years But He Won’t Talk About Our Future

I have been in a relationship with Adam for 4 years now, and I have shown him nothing but pure love. During the early stages of our relationship, he would call to break up with me without any good reason. Sometimes he would say he fell out of love, and I would be the one begging him to stay.

It was like a game to him: today he wants a girlfriend, tomorrow he doesn’t. He would ignore me and disappear for 2 months, sometimes 6 months, then come back like nothing happened.

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And because I loved him so much, I didn’t care that he was not consistent with me. I would just take him back every single time without question.

During his National Service, I took very good care of him without complaining, and when you love someone, you take care of them completely. I like to spend on my man because that’s my love language. I cannot even think of cheating on him, no matter what. Even if someone comes to me with stacks of money, I cannot hurt him intentionally because that is not what love does.

During his NSS, he made so many promises to me. He said when he goes back to his grandmother’s house, he will invite me over because his grandma has heard of me and loves me already.

He promised he would visit me every Friday when he left and that he would be with me no matter the distance between us. All sweet words that made my heart happy.

But I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and the reality is different. This is someone who never compliments me when I randomly send him my pictures. I would expect a simple “you look sweet” or “that’s my baby.” Nothing fancy, just something to show he sees me. But no, nothing of that sort from him, yet he fully compliments other women without fail. When I am unwell, all he does is check up on me the first day, and the rest of the time I am on my own with no care or follow-up from him.

So one day, I gathered courage and asked him this simple question: “Do you actually like me, or are you with me because I have helped you before and leaving me would be mean of you? Do you see a future with me?”

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This guy flared up in anger and said, “Can I help him? When I met him, was he sleeping outside?” He said so many hurtful things that broke my heart completely. As if asking where I stand after 4 years was a crime.

Am I the bad person here? Am I a bad girlfriend for asking that question? Did I cross the line by wanting to know where I stand after 4 years of giving my all? What do you think? Was I wrong for asking if he really loves me after all this time together? Should I have just kept quiet about my feelings and continued pretending everything was fine?