I’m Not Making a Mistake by Marrying This Man, Am I?

We are both twenty-eight. We are in love. We finish each other’s sentences. The world fades when we are together. It feels simple, like we were made for each other. I have known him since we were children, so loving him came easily, naturally.

We are planning to walk down the altar soon. I have been introduced to his family, his friends, his pastor. Everything I am supposed to know about him, I think I do. He has met my mother. That day, She welcomed him warmly, called him her son. But immediately he left, she squeezed her face the rest of the day. She called me at dawn interrogating me

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“This man you want to marry, do you think you’d be happy?” she asked.

I have experienced him. He is kind. I nodded, and said yes.

“Okay, but you want to marry a man that does not have money? Can you see your mates? You want to wallow in poverty forever?”

She said all she had to say and left, asking me to think carefully about it.

My mother knows about the men who have been in life. The many men who have come into my life with money, some I did not even understand what they wanted from me. Clearly, I should not have been their spec, yet they came. So she does not understand why I am choosing to do life with AB. She does not see him the way I do. The man he is becoming, the man he intends to be, she doubts it.

And somehow she planted that doubt in me too.

AB is conservative. He is everything society wants. He stays in his father’s house, but there are plans, plans to move to a place of our own. He doesn’t have it all but he does have all my heart. Even with the little he earns, he gives me when necessary. He gives because he is.

He is trying. I am trying too. Trying not to see things from my mother’s view and just marry this man that I love very much.

My sisters want a wealthy brother-in-law. My mother wants a wealthy son-in-law. Everyone is expecting me to put an end to this charade of planning a marriage with a man who doesn’t have money. Expectations here and there. My head is heavy with decisions I need to make.

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

Am I not wrong to choose love, right? Even when it feels heavy, even if he marries someone else one day, at the end of the day I loved. And it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

I am not stupid for not listening to my mother, right? I mean her concerns are valid, but what about my happiness and my love? She can go and marry a wealthy man for herself. I’ll be fine, right?

Tell me will I be?

—Dzie

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