I Thought We Were Just Friends Until He Proposed

Patrick ticks my boxes. He is religious, attentive to my needs, and cares deeply for me. He was my classmate in secondary school, but he only spent one semester in my school before transferring to a boarding school. I didn’t get the chance to know him properly before he left.

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Years later, we met again during a diploma program. We were in the same department and the same class. He recognised me the moment he set eyes on me. I used to see you around but I don’t seem to recall your name,” he said while flashing his teeth in a shy smile.

I offered him my hand and said, “I am Hannah.”

From then on, he was always nice to me. He made sure I never lacked anything—like handouts or lecture details. He also made sure I never forgot assignments and their deadlines.

Before long, we became best friends. Everywhere he went, I followed. We were always together whether in class or outside class.

In our last semester of level 100, he told me about his plans to move to a city. Our school was in a local government area. The news hit me hard. I didn’t want him to leave, but stopping him would have been selfish. I knew he would have better opportunities there.

When I returned for my second year, he wasn’t there, and I felt his absence so deeply. At first, we communicated often, but eventually I decided to let him go because I was already in a relationship with another guy even before starting that school.

While I was yet to complete school, Patrick and I reconnected. Whenever I visited the city, he would pick me up from the bus stop and ensure I got to my destinations safely. We did this every single time I was in the city.

My sister, who lives in that city, often asked if we were dating, but my answer was always the same: “No, we’re just friends.” Honestly, I only ever saw him as one.

Before I finished school, he often surprised me with little gifts, especially when I was on campus.

After both our graduations, which were in the same year, he shared his future plans with me. I always encouraged him to go after everything he dreamed of. He would tell me, “No one believes me like you do, Hannah. Thank you!”

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Over time, he became an entrepreneur, and now he’s planning to move abroad at the end of next year. In the meantime, he has earned enough to buy a piece of land. He celebrated this achievement with me. I am happy when he includes me in the things that matter to him. I see it as a mark of true friendship.

That’s why his proposal caught me completely off guard. It happened last month but I am still in shock. All along, I thought we were on the same page as friends. Not knowing, he was courting me. He told me that after moving to the city, he realised his true feelings for me.

“You’ve always been part of my future.”

He said. “That’s why I tell you everything I do. Now, I am ready to marry you in a few months’ time. All you have to do is say yes to me.” I’ve always been part of his plans, and now he’s ready for marriage in a few months.”

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Although I’m beginning to fall for him, I’m confused about what to say because after marriage, he’ll leave me for almost a year before I can join him abroad. He also said we’ll be staying at his brother’s house (just the two of us).

These concerns aside, I am worried about the age difference. I’m 20, while he’s 25. I know it’s just five years difference but it makes me think he is in a different place in life than I am. I don’t want to make a decision I will regret when I get older.

—Hannah 

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