I Read Ego Is The Enemy, Here Are 5 Lessons I Learned

General Sep 16, 2025 0 3 Add to Reading List

Ryan Holiday's Ego Is the Enemy doesn’t just have you flipping pages; it’s literally a wake-up call. In a world where self-promotion, hustle, and "the next big thing" are celebrated, Holiday argues that ego, not just external forces, is our worst enemy.

Drawing lessons from history, philosophy, and life, the book forces us to confront the internal voice that inflates our ego, derails our improvement, and blinds us to reality.

When I first read it, I didn't just nod in agreement. I saw myself in its pages, the silent sense of entitlement, the need for approval, the disguised fear of failure hiding behind ambition. More than once, I had to pause, reflect, and acknowledge: I've been there. That's why the lessons felt less like theory and more practical.

Here are five solid lessons I've learned from Ego Is the Enemy that influence how I view success, failure, and everything else in between.

1. Always Stay a Student

One of the most recurring themes from the book is that learning is an ongoing process. The moment you think you know it all is the moment you stop growing. Holiday quotes people like John Boyd, the brilliant military thinker, who spent his entire life learning rather than becoming famous. The ego says, I’ve arrived. Humility says, I still have more to learn.

This lesson hit me hard. There have been times when a small victory tricked me into thinking I was a master of my trade. Instead of asking for feedback, I resisted. Instead of seeking mentors, I avoided them.

The truth is, knowledge grows when you consider yourself a student. Those who find enduring success are those who never stop questioning and never confuse praise with proficiency.

2. Don't Tell Yourself a Story

Holiday warns against the seductive habit of spinning a narrative about our accomplishments. When we plant our identity in a story, "I'm destined to be great," or "I've worked harder than anyone else,"—we're detached from reality. Stories are neat. Life is messy. Ego prefers the neat version.

I saw myself in this. I've lied to myself about justifying failure or exaggerating success. But the world isn't interested in stories. It is interested in the work we do and the results we achieve. When we lose ourselves in our story, we can end up out of touch with what's really going on. We fail to iterate, we fail to refine, and instead buy into our own myth.

3. Purpose Over Passion

One unexpected and surprising argument is Holiday’s critique of passion. Passion, he says, is blind. It fuels bursts of energy but rarely sustains meaningful progress. Ego often disguises itself as passion, only loud, fiery, and impatient.

Purpose, on the other hand, is grounded. It's long-term. Eleanor Roosevelt, for instance, wasn’t “passionate” in the way people use the word today. She had purpose. Purpose endures when passion burns out.

For me, this lesson changed how I think about work. I used to chase projects in euphoria, and when the euphoria wore off, I gave up. Now I ask: Does this serve my purpose? Passion is what sets things on fire, but purpose keeps them burning.

4. Keep Your Own Scorecard

In one chapter, Holiday reiterates the importance of judging yourself on your own terms, not for the external validation of others. Tom Brady's life is a prime example. Drafted in the 199th spot, Brady wasn't supposed to be good. But he worked tirelessly, judging himself against his own measures, not the critics.

This speaks to our struggle with comparison today. Social media makes it almost impossible not to measure yourself against others. With each scroll comes a subtle whisper: You're behind. But as Holiday reminds us, that's ego talking. Confidence really originates from scorekeeping from the inside out. Did I improve today? Did I remain genuine and authentic to who I am? Did I put in the effort?

5. Alive Time or Dead Time?

One of the most powerful lessons of the book is on the subject of failure. Holiday introduces the concept of "alive time" and "dead time." Dead time is where we sit idly by, making excuses, waiting for the world to change. Alive time is where we live to learn, adapt, and get better despite failure.

Failure isn’t permanent unless ego makes it so. When ego takes over, we cling to excuses or protect our pride. But when we embrace the present moment, failure becomes a teacher. Katherine Graham, for example, faced public struggles running The Washington Post. Still, because she used the difficulty as ‘alive time’, she grew into one of the most outstanding CEOs of her era.