I PROPOSED TO HIM BECAUSE OF WHAT HE SAID ABOUT ME TO HIS COLLEAGUE THAT DAY 

There’s an office close to my office where I go to submit contract files every now and then. The first time I went there, I was received by a gentleman who later introduced himself to me as Van. He wasn’t the one to receive the files but he was very kind to me. He called the one who is supposed to attend to the files and when she wasn’t coming, he led me to the person’s office. Later when I finished what I was doing and leaving the premises, he was at the entrance. I bade him goodbye and he responded cheerfully. I knew his name but he didn’t know mine because he didn’t ask. Each time I went there and I met him, he was ever ready to engage with me but since he never asked my name, I took him as someone who just wanted to smile. 

One afternoon, when I was entering their office, I saw him standing close to the staircase with a colleague. I greeted them and he smiled. He asked me, “You’re coming to submit forms?” I answered, “What else could bring me here apart from that? Is she there?” He answered, “Yeah, she’s in her office.” Just when I was climbing the stairs I heard him speak in Ewe to his friends, “This girl, if I get her, that would be the end of my relationship journey. I will marry her straight! No looking back.” They both looked up as I was climbing up. His colleague asked, “Is it because of her big ass?” He answered, “No, not because of that. Can’t you see she’s beautiful? And the way she talks respectfully to people gets my attention every time.” 

They kept talking in Ewe while I walked away with a subtle smile on my lips. I’m not Ewe but I can speak the language fluently. I lived in Ho and attended my junior and high school there. I was in the university when my father got transferred from Ho to Accra. I left the town but I didn’t leave the language behind. I love to pretend I can only speak English but I can speak about four local languages. I’m a fast learner when it comes to languages. 

I went up and finished my business with the lady and came back down. When I got there, the two of them were still standing there. His friend said, “She’s coming.” He didn’t look up immediately. When I got to where they were standing, he smiled again and waved at me. He asked, “Are you coming back tomorrow?” I asked him, “Do you have something for me tomorrow?” He smiled and said, “I’m just asking.” I smiled and walked away. His friend said in Ewe again, “She’s beautiful but a girl like her would only fall for rich men. What do you have?” Van answered, “That’s the ultimate question.” 

I was laughing in my head and still wondering why they could think that of me. When I went to my office I asked a male colleague; “Do I come across as someone who you won’t like to approach because you’re not rich?” He answered, “If I didn’t know you, I would have drawn that conclusion. You exude that rich vibe but I’ve seen you eat Konkonte and kenkey with small fish so I can’t draw that conclusion from where I stand.” I said in my head, “So it’s my fault that I don’t want to walk around looking poor?”

From that day, I started looking at Van differently. I knew his intentions about me so I wanted to dig deeper and know him for who he is. One day when I got there I asked him, “Do you even know my name?” He answered, “Yes I do. I asked the lady at the top and she told me.” I asked him, “So why didn’t you ask my name from me?” He answered, “The day I introduced myself to you, I thought you will do the same but you didn’t. I felt you didn’t want to be friends.” I gave him my number. I told him, “Sorry about the bad impression. I want to be your friend. You can call me whenever you want. One of these days when you are free, pass by my office and visit me too.” 

I was in the office when he called to say thank you. I asked, “For what?” He answered, “For the number and the invite to come around.” I laughed at him. I said, “Are you always this soft or there’s something else about you that I don’t know?” The following day, he came around at lunchtime and we went to the cafeteria. We had a long lunch and had a very lengthy conversation. I got to know a little about what he was doing. He was into IT stuff and he had been doing it for some years. He had dreams of opening his own IT company someday. He said, “I’ve registered the company already. What’s left is to raise something to start.”

I also told him about my career path and where I would want to end in future. The visit became often. When I went to his office and he saw me, he would walk me back to my office and we would talk for a long while. We went out one weekend and it felt good. I felt at home with him so I started asking about his love life, “Who is that girl you’re going out with? You haven’t told me her name. Is she here in Accra? How long have you dated and when are you two getting married.” He laughed out loud as if I’d told the world’s funniest joke. He answered, “You’re asking too many questions at a time. One after the other please.” 

His last relationship was about five months ago. The relationship lasted for three years. He was dating a girl he found at his previous workstation outside Accra. When he left the job, they couldn’t maintain the distance relationship so they agreed to part. I asked, “Just like that? You two didn’t fight and break up bitterly the way lovers usually do? Then you’ll come back together again.” He answered, “She’s already dating someone. I don’t think it’s possible. I’ve moved on.” 

When I asked him questions, I was expecting him to ask me the same question but he didn’t. I was the one doing the asking all the time. So one day I asked him, “Can we date? I’m single too and I think I like the way you are. It’s ok if you don’t like me but please don’t pretend you do.” He was shocked. He said, “Are you pulling my legs right now? What did you just say? Are you serious?” I answered, “I’m serious. You don’t ask me anything or tell me anything so I guess I had to do it.” His answer was, “Wow, I didn’t expect this. I should have been the one to say it because I’ve been loving you since the very first time I saw you. You took the words out of my mouth. Yes, I love you and I’m not pretending.” 

After the proposal, I laid back while I watched him do all the work. If we had to go somewhere, he had to suggest it. If he wanted me around, he had to request my presence. If he didn’t say it, we didn’t do it. I was relinquishing my lead to him slowly so he could be the man. Our relationship was only six months old when he took me home to meet his people. They were also speaking Ewe. His mother asked him, “Where did you find this one? Can you handle her?” His father asked, “What sort of question is that? Is she not a woman? You mean you don’t trust the manhood of your son?” I was laughing in my head. Van answered, “We work close to each other. I found her there. She had been everything since I met her.” His father asked, “So we are talking about marriage?” He answered, “Yes, very soon.” 

His father turned his attention to me and said, “My lady I’m sorry we have to talk in our language. It’s a family issue that came up. I hope you don’t feel left out?” I answered, “I’m fine. I’m happy you accepted me into your home.” 

Months later, I took him home too. He was the second man I was taking home officially to meet my parents. My dad said, “I hope this one is the last one.” I answered, “I hope so too but in life and in love, crazy things happen. Whatever comes out of this would be the best for me, I know.” 

During our traditional marriage, the visitors that came from his side were more than we anticipated so some of them didn’t get food and they were complaining. My father-in-law was restless because all the complaints went to him. He was there trying to cool them down when I started speaking to them in Ewe, “Please have patience with us. Those in the kitchen are trying their best to bring you something as soon as possible. while you wait for the food, they’ll serve you your favourite drinks to cool your hearts down.” 

My father-in-law was looking at me like he had seen a ghost with his mouth half-opened. He called out to his son; “Why didn’t you tell us she can speak Ewe? When did you teach her that she’s this fluent?” Van didn’t believe it either. He called his father a liar. I said it in Ewe, “You’re lucky you didn’t insult me in Ewe. Like you’ll see what I will do to you.” He was equally shocked. “How? When? How did you do it?” I told him, “That’s the only part of my story I didn’t tell you. When I told you I went to school in Ho, it didn’t click that I can speak the language?” He didn’t believe me because my parents can’t speak the language but parents are like that, they don’t care about language when they grow to that stage.

We had our wedding that same week and we’ve been married for three years now. 

If I didn’t meet Van I would have walked around thinking men can’t be trusted and that all men were the same. Men aren’t the same. Van is different from the guys I met while growing up. He’s a little bit reserved but he isn’t someone you can push around. He comes to the table with love for me and love for my dreams. In return, I push him from behind to pursue his IT dreams. The company name is no longer in a drawer. Currently, it is out there on social media. Once in a while, he gets the contract and executes it. We are both waiting for the big break but until then, all we have is love for each other. Each passing day, I’m happy I made the move to have him in my life. It’s a move I’ve never regretted. 

I still haven’t told him about that conversation he had with his friend beneath the staircase. Maybe someday I will but now, he doesn’t remember so I’ll let it remain the way it is until I find a reason to tell him.

—Tina,