I Just Want My Boyfriend To Prove He Is Not Cheating

I’ve been cohabiting with my partner for almost two years. Last month, I found out he was seeing someone else. When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. “It happened twice,” he confessed. I didn’t feel any better hearing his admission. I have been nothing but loyal to this man. Why would he choose to break me like this? Oh, it hurt very badly. Especially, when I asked myself if the other lady was the reason he cancelled our wedding.

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We had been making plans for almost a year. Everything was set — invitations, venue, everything. Then three weeks to the D-day, he suddenly cancelled our plans without telling me why. I was devastated but he assured me our relationship wasn’t over. He just needed time to put a few things in order. We would have been married in May if he hadn’t pulled the brakes.

I didn’t leave him after that. I am still living with him even though I caught him cheating. He keeps giving me empty promises when it comes to when we will get married. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but I’ve lost all trust in him.

Sometimes I think about forgiving him and pretending it never happened, but the most annoying part is how he protects that girl.

The pictures they took together, which I had downloaded and kept in the Hidden Folder on my phone, he went into the phone and deleted them. He claims there’s no need for me to have those photos because he is no longer seeing her.

All I ask for is proof that indeed, they are no longer together, but he is not able to do that. Instead, he has tightened the security on his phones. It makes me believe he’s still with her, and he is lying about it. Am I not wasting my loyalty on such a man?

When I think about the things I’ve sacrificed for this relationship… I am convinced I should have stayed single and explored the dating field rather than deciding to have a partner.

He tries to make me believe he has changed. He video calls me from work or when he’s in town to keep me updated, but honestly, I can’t trust him until he proves beyond a reasonable doubt that he is no longer cheating.

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I am saying this because sometimes when I look at him, I feel he wants to settle down with me. But other times, he looks confused and

unsure of what he really wants. I’ve told him that if he loves that other woman, he should stop wasting my time and go to her.

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Our two-year anniversary is coming up in November. I’ve decided that if he still doesn’t seem sure about me by then, I’ll separate from him and give him space to make a clear decision.

In case you are wondering, I am not dependent on him. We’re both working and doing well financially. We live in an apartment and share the expenses equally (50/50). I’m a business owner. So leaving to get my own place is not a problem for me at all. I just want to make sure that I won’t be making a mistake when I finally walk out.

—Talata

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