I Heard Everything When He Forgot To End The Call

I’ve been dating this guy from Malawi for four years. From the beginning, he treated me very well. He gave me money, cared for me, and never pressured me for intimacy. But our relationship has always been rocky. We would separate for a while, then get back together again.

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This past year, though, we’ve been together consistently, and I’ve been trying so hard to fix things between us. The only things getting in my way are two big problems.

The first is a girl who slept with him on Valentine’s Day. It was just a one-night stand, but she tried to claim him as her boyfriend after their encounter. It didn’t work though. Everyone in my community knows that he’s with me. He even told me himself that he would never leave me.

The second problem is another girl who got involved with him because of money. He said he met her when he was drunk and she was stranded. Out of kindness, he offered her money to go home. Since then, she has been acting like she’s his girlfriend. Sometimes, he actually sleeps with her to get her off his back.

She takes advantage of him. Whenever she asks for money and he refuses to give her she would threaten him. “If you don’t give it to me I will call my brothers to beat you up.” Because he’s soft and not from this country, he’s scared of her and her family. That’s why he can’t completely stay away from her.

These were things he told me himself. I believed him and even felt bad for him. However, last Sunday something happened that changed the way I saw him.

He slept at my house the previous night and left early that morning for work. Before leaving, he promised to buy me whatever I wanted since he had just been paid on Saturday. After work, he came to see me and gave me some money. Then his brother invited him out.

When they left, I called him. He didn’t end the call when we finished talking — probably because he was drunk and forgot. Through the call, I could hear him flirting with another girl who lives on my street. Later, the second lady joined him. I heard him denying that he had been flirting with someone else. He tried to convince her he was only “chilling.” Then I heard him talking about giving her money to do her hair.

After that, he went to another place and started flirting with yet another girl, but that girl rejected him. I hung up out of embarrassment when he kept trying to talk to her.

When he finally called to tell me he was home, I confronted him about everything I’d heard. He went quiet, then asked, “Are we done?” I said yes, and that our relationship was over. Then I blocked him.

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The next day he kept trying to call, but since I had blocked him, he couldn’t reach me. I eventually unblocked him, and he called again to ask if we were really done. I told him yes, because I had even recorded everything he said and did that Sunday night. He said, “It didn’t mean anything. I was drunk.”

The other day he called me acting as if nothing has happened. I dropped the call, but he came to my house with his friends. I chased all of them away.

Now, I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m deeply in love with him, but I also know he might not be able to leave that other lady. Maybe because he loves her too, or maybe it’s because he’s scared of her.

—Kira

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