How Long Does It Take to Fall in Love?

Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love in an instant? About 60% of people claim to have experienced love at first sight, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

Whether you agree with them or not, it’s interesting to deconstruct how long it really takes to fall in love.

The short, black-and-white answer is: 88 days. That’s right — the average time for men to fall in love is just under three months, according to a survey conducted by YouGov and eHarmony.

But the truth is, falling in love is a subjective process.

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“It's important to understand that love is not a one-size-fits-all process,” says Kim Homan, LMFT, clinical director at Tennessee Behavioral Health. “While some may experience a swift and intense connection, others might develop feelings gradually over time.”

That said, there are stages to falling in love — and understanding these stages can help you gauge where you stand if you’ve started to develop feelings for a romantic interest.

Because, let’s face it: There’s a difference between intense attraction and real feelings, and the two can be easily confused. Here’s what you need to know about the amount of time it takes to fall for someone.

Falling in Love Is More of a Journey Than an Event

First, it’s important to realize that falling in love is more of a journey than a single event.

“What many men may not realize about falling in love is that it's not just a spontaneous burst of emotions but a journey of emotional evolution,” says registered psychologist Rod Mitchell.

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Interestingly, men may just move through that journey faster.

“Research suggests that men might fall in love faster than women,” Homan says. “A study in the Journal of Social Psychology found that men reported feeling love after just a few weeks, whereas women often took a few months.”

Biology is a possible explanation for this. Some studies suggest that women may be more guarded and selective when choosing a mate because the stakes are higher in terms of reproduction.

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The Stages of Falling In Love

Wondering where you’re at on the journey of falling in love? The typical process of going from “like” to “love” involves initial attraction and lust, which then evolves into a deeper emotional connection and culminates in long-term attachment, says Homan.

“The initial stage is often marked by intense emotions, idealization of the partner, and a strong desire to spend time together,” she explains. “As the relationship matures, deeper bonds of trust, respect, and emotional intimacy develop, leading to a more stable and enduring love.”

While this seems straightforward, it still doesn’t explain why some people get to that deeper bond faster than others.

“In my professional experience, the stages of falling in love go beyond the common narrative of attraction and commitment,” says Mitchell. “The first stage, often overlooked, is self-preparation, where one's own emotional and psychological state sets the foundation for falling in love.”

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In other words, your relationship with yourself sets the tone for your romantic relationships — and what happens while you’re single and not interested in anyone could set the stage for how soon you fall in love (or not).

Once you catch feelings for each other, a phase of mutual discovery follows, says Mitchell. This is when partners explore both the joys and challenges of being together.

“This stage is critical for emotional resilience,” he says.

After that, the pinnacle of falling in love is one of “deep emotional synchronization,” Mitchell adds Mitchell, where “partners intuitively understand and resonate with each other's feelings.” Being in sync in that way sustains long-term love.

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What Most Men Don’t Realize About Falling in Love

In other words, feelings mature over time — but some couples never get there despite spending months getting to know each other because they don’t successfully move through each stage of falling in love, including the individual foundation required to go deep with someone.

Perhaps what most men don’t realize about falling in love is that it starts with the self and requires some degree of self-awareness.

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“Men should understand that love often starts with self-awareness,” says Mitchell. “The more a man understands his emotions, the more profound and meaningful his experience of love can be.”

Once partnered up, love isn’t just about big romantic gestures; it's the subtle daily interactions, the quiet understanding of a partner's needs, and the willingness to grow together emotionally that deepen love, adds Mitchell.

How Long Does It Actually Take to Fall In Love?

As mentioned earlier, research reveals it takes about 88 days for men to fall in love, and that men tend to get there faster than women. However, the timeframe for falling in love is highly variable and depends on factors like personal readiness, past experiences, emotional connection, and time spent together, notes Homan.

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“For some, love can spark in a matter of moments, while for others, it might take months or even years to develop,” she explains. “It's crucial to remember that love isn't a race; it's more about the journey and the depth of the connection that you build with your partner.”

Instead of analyzing timelines, it may be more constructive to ask yourself meaningful questions about where you are in life, how emotionally open and ready you feel for love, and whether a relationship is evolving through the stages required for a deeper connection.

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