how do I manage a conflict among 3 employees?

A reader writes:

I could use some advice about some employees, two of whom report to me and one who doesn’t.

Bob reports to me. He assigns cases to both Sue and Sally. Sue reports to me and Sally doesn’t. Sue and Sally don’t like Bob. They don’t like his brusque (but still professional) style, they don’t like that he’s not “nice” like his predecessor, and they don’t like it when he seems inconsistent.

Bob doesn’t like his decisions questioned. He comes from a legal background and really can be pretty officious. Again, it’s not unprofessional, but it’s certainly not friendly or warm. He could go a long way in being collegial.

When I direct Bob to be patient with Sue and Sally, as they frequently do have good questions and suggestions, he thinks that I’m asking him to “coddle” Sue and Sally. When I ask Sue and Sally to accept Bob’s decisions, they think I’m asking them never to question Bob, whose judgment usually is correct but not always.

In a functioning team, these folks would all show a little patience and grace. In this group, they take turns complaining to me. I’ve directed them to work it out themselves, as this seems mostly to be personality clashes. But I also would like a functioning team.

Any advice? I’d like to lock them all in a room and tell them to come out when they can be civil. I’ve tried team-building, asking them how they would solve the problem, being an ear to cry on, etc. I’d like Sue and Sally to feel like they have agency and are respected for their questions, and I’d like Bob to feel like he can count on them to back him up.

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

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