How Can I Trust A Man Who Won’t Let Me Touch His Phone

One of the things that made me believe Kwabena was a faithful man was how possessive he was. In the early stages of our relationship, he would complain about my male friends. He didn’t like the fact that I spoke to them regularly, some of which I spoke to late into the night. He would tell me, “I trust you but I don’t trust those men. I am trying to protect what we have but we have to be on the same page. If you need to talk to someone, I am here. I am not just your boyfriend, I am your friend.”

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

His determination to safeguard the commitment we made to each other erased any doubt I had about giving him a chance. Yes, initially I was hesitant about accepting his proposal because I felt I didn’t know him well enough. We met at work. We worked in the same facility but in different departments. So we weren’t really friends when he expressed interest in me. This made me hold back a little.

However, he proved to me that I didn’t have anything to worry about. Over the course of the first year, the relationship was good. I was happily enjoying the peace and love I was experiencing with him. I believed I had found a man I could build a future with.

All of that changed in May this year. He started demonstrating certain traits that unsettled me. For instance, he knew the password to my phone yet he wouldn’t share his with me. He protected his phone as if it held secrets that would jeopardise national security if it fell into the wrong hands.

Somewhere in June, I was at his place when I

I felt compelled to check his phone. I checked his SMS but I found nothing. He showed up before I could go to WhatsApp so I had to abort mission that day.

The next month, I got the chance to check his WhatsApp messages. I wasn’t ready for what I found. He was having multiple conversations with different women. His chat with one of the women revealed that they were intimate.

When I confronted him, he denied having anything sexual with the lady. According to him, the chats were part of a plan by the woman to deter her ex-boyfriend who had hacked her phone. I found his explanation unconvincing because of what I saw. But I let it go after he apologised over and over again.

While I was making preparations to travel to another region for school I was worried about what might happen in my absence. So I accessed his WhatsApp again. I found out he was still talking to the same lady he claimed he didn’t have anything to do with.

I couldn’t tell what was going on because he deleted some of the messages. Regardless, I took screenshots. I didn’t have enough information to go on so I did not confront him.

The problem now is that he is angry with me. He got to know that I accessed his WhatsApp. “Even married couples deserve privacy,” he lashed out. I didn’t think I did anything wrong but I apologised for invading his privacy.

His strong reaction suggests that he has something to hide. All the trust I had in him is gone. Is it true what they’ve been saying that all men cheat? For those in happy relationships and marriages, are your partners faithful? Or you’ve simply chosen to ignore indiscretions? We share everything yet he is calling his phone his privacy. How?

—Esi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB