“girl boss” artwork in the women’s bathrooms, interview focused on conflict with coworkers, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. “Girl boss” artwork appeared in the women’s bathrooms

A few days ago, new artwork appeared in all of the women’s bathrooms in our building (and we’ve confirmed that it’s only the women’s bathrooms). This artwork is of the inspirational “girl boss” variety, with phrases like “I am motivated to achieve my goals!” and “Work hard to achieve your dreams!” and “Stay focused!” There are also some quotes that feel religious-adjacent with words like “blessed” and “miracles” in them.

Because they appear to be officially installed by facilities, I strongly suspect a somewhat new admin is to blame since she’s the one who puts in orders for things like furniture and decorations. I think this was her misguided attempt at making the bathrooms more cheerful. Except every person who uses the women’s bathrooms is cringing at the result. It comes across as totally patronizing and out-of-touch (most people in this building work in technical roles). It’s been a bit of a running joke the past few days.

Do you have any suggestions for raising the issue without hurting anyone’s feelings? The last thing I want to do is get on the admin’s bad side (assuming I’m right and this was her project).

Can you take it to someone who’s not the admin? Her boss, or a facilities person, or whoever manages admin stuff?

You could simply say: “Some new artwork has showed up in the women’s bathrooms — and apparently only the women’s — that’s rubbing a lot of us the wrong way. It’s got religious terminology like ‘blessed’ and ‘miracles’ and some ‘girl boss’ themes that feel patronizing. Can that be removed?”

I can’t guarantee the admin’s feelings won’t be hurt (if indeed it was her), but there are other factors in play here that matter more — and it’ll be useful for whoever was behind the posters to learn why they weren’t universally embraced.

2. Interviewers seemed focused on conflict with coworkers

Years ago, during an extremely demoralizing job search, I was interviewing for a job in academia for which I had direct, extensive experience. It was one of those panel interviews where the interviewers take turns asking scripted questions. There was one pretty typical question asking me to share a time I dealt with conflict with a coworker. I gave a relevant example, emphasizing how I navigated the situation and preserved the relationship with the colleague.

So far, so good, and the panel asked me a couple other questions on other topics. But the following scripted question went back to conflicts with colleagues: “Tell us about a time you dealt with mistrust in a situation with a coworker.”

I managed to come up with a different story, but by this point, I was wondering about the culture of that department, even though everyone I was interviewing with was pleasant and at least seemed collegial. Part of me wanted to ask about colleague interactions and what was behind their second question about mistrust. But I couldn’t think of a respectful way to ask and, truth be told, I was so desperate to get a new job that I’m not sure concerns about a toxic culture would have dissuaded me from taking the job if I’d been offered it. (Spoiler alert – I did not get the job. Rather, they hired an internal candidate from an adjacent department).

In the end, I got hired at a completely different company with wonderful coworkers, so the university job was probably a bullet dodged. But I still wonder about a way I could have addressed what the panel’s questions seemed to imply.

If you ever notice a theme in interview questions that makes you uneasy or even just curious, you absolutely can ask about it! The basic formula is “you’ve asked a few times about X — is there anything I should know about that?”

So in this case: “You’ve asked a couple of times about conflict with coworkers. Has that been something that’s come up a lot in this role?” Or maybe, “You’ve asked a couple of times about conflict with coworkers. Is that something the person in this role is likely to have particular challenges around?

3. My old job forgot to remove my social media access — can I use this to get a new job with them?

It turns out I happen to know about a security issue at a large tech company. It’s not deep company secrets or anything, but I’ve realized I still have complete admin permissions on several of their social accounts. When I left this role in 2022, I emailed no fewer than five people two different times to tell them to remove me from these pages, but apparently they never did. (I only found out when checking an email folder that is normally just junk.) Technically, I can remove my own permissions (at least I used to be able to) since I’m an admin, but I didn’t because back when I still worked there I updated my own permissions once and when I let that team know they freaked out and said it should go through them. Clearly, they have not kept on top of it.

Can I do anything with this? I’m currently job hunting, so part of me wants to send a letter to the manager of this team letting them know about this problem and how I have the perfect experience to manage their audits, but I have no idea if that is a bonkers idea or would come across like a threat. I can do that anyway, just to let them know without any request or expectation, I guess. Or part of me thinks that this information should be worth something (even though it’s just stupidity on their part).

I’m not sure what I’m asking, maybe going on 15 months without a job has made me desperate, but if you have any thoughts for me I would appreciate it!

You can’t use it to get a job. It’s just a slip-up their side, and noticing it isn’t really a qualification on your side, or at least not enough of one that it wouldn’t look weird to try to use it that way.

Email the manager of the team and explain you noticed that you still have admin permissions, despite reminding them to remove you two years ago, and so your current plan is to remove yourself if they haven’t done so by (date) and you wanted to alert her so it doesn’t raise any alarms if they see you do that, and also so she’s aware there’s a security hole they might need to plug with other people too. Then, if that date comes and they haven’t removed you, remove yourself.

If that email provides an opening for you to mention you’re job searching and would love to talk about working with them again, you can use that — but that’s about the relationship you already have, not any kind of “gotcha” from their mistake.

4. Manager says we can only speak English at work

I work with a very diverse group of coworkers; more than half speak English as their second language. I’d say about half speak language A as their first language, a quarter speak language B as their first language, and a quarter speak English only.)

During a recent meeting, our manager reminded everyone that English is the only language we should be speaking at work. I know that insisting people speak English only is wrong, but are the rules different at work? Does it make a difference if it’s in front of other employees versus in front of clients? What about two employees speaking privately versus five employees speaking in a shared language in front of one employee who doesn’t?

I’m one of the few English-only employees so I didn’t feel comfortable judging and am planning on leaving soon for unrelated reasons, so I’m not planning on doing anything. I’m just curious about your take.

(I don’t know if it makes a difference, but my manager speaks English as a second language but does not speak language A.)

Employers can’t legally prohibit employees from speaking in another language unless if it’s justified by a business necessity, like when they’re waiting on English-speaking customers or doing team projects where an English-only rule will promote efficiency, or to allow a manager who only speaks English to monitor the performance of employees whose job involves communicating with others. So your manager’s blanket edict violates federal law.

5. Should I leave a short job off my resume?

I am in my late 50s, nowhere near able to afford retirement, and I can’t pay insurance out of pocket forever. After a short career in IT, I switched to nursing where I stayed 30+ years at one large university hospital. I stepped away in 2022 for complicated reasons, and now I’m trying to get back to work.

I am curious what you think of a late-career job seeker leaving a short-term position off the resume. Which is worse, a two-year gap, or the same gap with a two-month job in the middle of it? Or does it even matter at this point?

Since leaving the long-term job, I’ve submitted hundreds of applications and had maybe 10-15 that made it to screening calls or were forwarded for department consideration, a handful of actual interviews, and two job offers. One I turned down because when shadowing at the facility, I found it so far out of reasonable regulatory compliance, I ran far away.

With the second one, the job I wish to omit, there was a disconnect between what I was hired for and what they expected me to do. There was also a lot of information withholding in the department, a weird hazing vibe, leadership was rarely available by any means, and the final straw: I witnessed my supervisor-ish unofficial trainer verbally and physically assault another newish coworker over a made-up mistake. The coworker begged me not to report it because they were in the middle of trying to transfer to another department and didn’t want anything to mess that up. I resigned the next day. Total time there including notice: 8 weeks. I left eligible for rehire, good terms, I was able to bite my tongue and cite a reasonable explanation.

I’m keeping my resume as current and relevant as possible. I’ve had an outside resume expert review it. I pull out specific accomplishments from my tenure at the long-term job and tailor to fit each application. I’ve followed some suggestions to utilize AI to glean key words from job descriptions and further refine each application when needed. And I of course don’t cite the above toxic explanation when recruiters or applications ask for a reason for leaving – I say that I left to focus on the care of an ill family member. This, coincidentally, was true enough, and the reason I cited in my resignation.

Since including this eight-week-long position, interest in my applications seems down. This could be coincidence. I am considering taking it off the resume/applications. Any advice?

Take it off. Leaving after eight weeks raises a lot of questions, and you weren’t there long enough to have had accomplishments that would strengthen your resume enough to overcome those questions. Even with your explanation that you left to take care of an ill family member, the job is a weird blip that’s not helping you and is probably hurting.

You’ve either got a two-year gap or a nearly-two-year gap with an eight-week stint that abruptly ended. The gap on its own is better.