Exploring the Pros & Cons of Homemade Gifts

In today’s fast-paced, commercialized world, every product seems to be mass-manufactured. So how do you convey the special and unique aspects of your love to a partner by giving them something that has hundreds if not thousands or even millions of identical clones? The answer’s simple: You give them a homemade gift. It’s not exactly a new concept. Before online shopping, before malls, before department stores, gifts kind of had to be handmade — and making something yourself might be easier than finding just the right artisan to make something for you. But in the 21st century, the DIY gift can feel a little out there or — in some people’s eyes — even cheap. Plus, if it falls flat for some reason, it’ll sting that much more than something you just purchased. Essentially, homemade gifts are high-risk, high-reward. They can be incredible memorable romantic gestures that your partner brags about to other people for years — or they can flop so badly that they lead to a huge fight, maybe even a breakup. Of course, they’re more likely to land somewhere in the middle. But how can you harness the potential romantic power of a DIY gift? And when is the right time to give one versus just buying something? RELATED: Best Romantic Gifts for Women Whether your partner’s birthday is coming up, you’re celebrating an anniversary, or you want to give them something “just because,” here are some pro tips for making a gift that’s sure to be a slam dunk. Pros of DIY Gifts There are lots of advantages to going the DIY route with gifts. Here are just a few, according to Steffo Shambo, a dating and relationship expert. It lets your creativity shine — and by the way, a 2017 study found that women are more attracted to men they perceive as creative. It could save you money. The cost of supplies for — say, a photo album of travel memories or an engraved wooden sign — is often a lot less than a piece of jewelry, trendy gadget, designer handbag, or other typical store-bought gift.It demonstrates thoughtfulness. Painting your partner’s favorite beach or creating a personalized coupon book of acts of service requires thinking about your partner’s wants and needs, which is bound to make them feel loved and cared for.There’s more room for personalization. For example, you have the freedom to use their favorite colors, scents, or flowers in your homemade gift — or incorporate a meaningful date, like your anniversary or the day you met. Cons of DIY gifts Still, there are some drawbacks to DIY gifts to consider as well. Here are a few to be mindful of, says Shambo. It’s time-consuming. “A DIY gift often requires significant effort compared to just purchasing a gift,” Shambo explains. Not only do you have to gather all the necessary materials, but depending on what you choose, there may be extensive work that goes into actually making the gift.Some skill is required. It’s important to take realistic stock of your capabilities before starting an ambitious project. “There is a more significant margin of error,” says Shambo. “And if a DIY gift doesn't turn out well, it can't be returned or exchanged.”It may fall flat. No matter how much time and thought you put into it, the reality is that a DIY gift isn’t guaranteed to be a hit with everyone. Ksenia Droben, CEO at Droben Matchmaking, says she recently took a poll of people at her agency about what they thought of a man’s DIY gift: a homemade box containing a plain white origami-style paper flower. “Most of the women said that they did not want a gift like that, and that they would prefer something from a shop, even if it was not expensive. Most of the men said it was a wonderful gift.” The bottom line is that some people prefer more pragmatic gifts rather than sentimental ones. Something to keep in mind: If your DIY gift doesn’t go over well, that can actually be valuable information, says Daria Chase, a licensed psychologist specializing in couples and relationships. “It's also a great way to get to know someone at the beginning of a relationship, as it can serve as a way to get to know someone, their values and if they are aligned with yours. If the person does not have an appreciation for this kind of gesture and prioritizes monetary value over emotional value, it is important to know of this early on in the relationship to get it over with sooner rather than later." RELATED: Best Gifts for Your Wife When to Give a DIY Gift Before you opt for a DIY gift, experts advise taking the occasion — as well as how long you and your partner have been together — into account. According to Lisa Mirza Grotts, a certified etiquette professional, it’s a lot harder to take a DIY approach to gifting at the onset of a relationship. “At this point, there are not many shared memories — it’s too personal and too soon,” she explains. Shambo agrees that DIY gifts often work better once you know your partner well. “You can customize them based on their favorite hobbies and interests — like painting them a portrait of their beloved pet or making their go-to baked treat,” he says. That’s not to say you can’t give a DIY gift early in the relationship, but Shambo recommends keeping them simple — like making a playlist of songs that remind you of them, cooking their favorite meal, or writing a thoughtful card. RELATED: How to Write a Romantic Love Letter “Save more elaborate DIY gifts for later once you really know their style and tastes,” he tells AskMen. Shambo notes that a DIY gift is also ideal for partners who are a bit tricker to buy for. If they have a tendency to go ahead and order whatever they need, a handmade gift presents the perfect solution because it’s something money can’t buy. “DIY gifts are also suitable for partners who have unique niche hobbies that stores don't cater to,” adds Shambo. Dos & Don'ts for Homemade Gifts Dos: Integrate your recipient’s interests, passions, and values: If your partner is an environmentalist, use eco-friendly reusable gift wrap, says Shambo. Or, if their pet is their whole world, consider making a gift they can use with their furry friend. This shows attention to detail — and will definitely not go unnoticed.Offer a unique spin on something traditional: Droben suggests a handmade necklace or bracelet, DIY bouquet, or a homemade batch of her favorite sweets. Jewelry, flowers, and chocolate are all conventional and universally loved gifts, but putting your own personal spin on it will make it special.Make use of their love language: If your partner’s love language is quality time, why not make them a pickleball paddle they can use on your next date? If their love language is physical touch, consider making a custom massage oil blend. Or, if their love language is words of affirmation, you might write a list of all the things you love most about them and have it framed. Know your limits: “If crafting isn't your strong suit, avoid DIY gifts in favor of a simple purchased gift,” says Shambo. Don'ts: Take on complex DIY projects too soon: “An elaborate handmade canoe is probably best saved for later in the relationship,” says Shambo. Enough said.Leave it to the last minute: A DIY gift is not something you can typically throw together last minute. “Plan out your project timeline to avoid rushing and last-minute stress,” says Shambo. This includes researching where to get materials, determining how quickly you can get them shipped to you or find them at nearby stores, and calculating how many hours you’ll need to actually make the item. Rely solely on DIY gifts: It’s all about balance. If you craft a homemade gift for Valentine’s Day, you might want to buy something for your anniversary. “Mixing in some store-bought presents occasionally ensures your partner doesn't feel like you're only giving DIY gifts to save money,” says Shambo. You Might Also Dig: Best Tech GiftsFirst Anniversary Gift GuideBest Gifts for People Who Have Everything