Esohe Osagiede: The kidney patient and her many battles

Esohe Sarah Osagiede is not just a kidney patient. She is a warrior who has gone through many phases of  battle.

Her right kidney failed at about the age of 9.The left kidney failed when she was about 25..She got a transplant that failed too. Yet, she has been a source of joy and comfort to many kidney patients through her foundation.

She also lost two  relationships that were to lead to marriage  in the course of all these battles.

Now in her 30s, Esohe shared her story in an online video chat with Odogwuwigi a social media influencer..The interview was monitored by Church Times.

Genesis of the crisis

Born to a family of five children, Esohe’s problem started when she was nine. She had a bloated body. Her mother took her to the hospital. And then came the verdict that her right kidney was faulty.

her mother, a strong woman of faith took her to the church straight from the hospital for prayers. They were in church for three days praying and trusting God for healing. Miraculously on the third day  her swollen body dried up.

Unknown to her, the right kidney that was malfunctioning had packed up. She was left with one kidney. She lived with that one for 15 years before it also stopped working. The implication was that she would live on dialysis or get a transplant..

Within the 15 years that she lived with one kidney she went through unbearable health conditions. Despite maintaining high hygiene she suffered from toilet diseases that made her consume a lot of antibiotics.

First proposal

It was at the end of those 15 years of living with one kidney that she met a young man from the US who wanted to marry her. The relationship was going on well and it was leading to marriage or so she thought. The two of them had fixed December 12  2012 for their marriage .

But six months to the marriage she had a medical crisis and was rushed to the hospital. That was when she got to know the only kidney functioning in her body had failed.

The news got to her fiance in the US. Rather than show some sympathy, he called off the wedding on phone in “his American accent” according to Esohe.

Incidentally, she was was on the sick bed taking the second pint of blood when the man called to call off the wedding

Journey to India and the heartbreak

Family and friends however  rallied round her. She raised money through the media and was able to travel to India where she had a series of surgeries and eventually a kidney transplant.

Her mother was gracious enough to donate one of her kidneys with which she survived for years. But just when the transplant was successful and everybody was happy, Esohe stumbled on the news of her ex-fiance’s marriage to a Yoruba lady in the US. That was barely six months after he broke up the relationship.

She recalls, . The doctors were excited that I had survived the transplant. It was in the midst of that excitement that I was given my phone. Immediately I opened the phone, I went straight to Facebook and I saw people congratulating my ex.

“I thought maybe he had become the Redeemed Pastor he wanted to be. I went to his Facebook page and  it  turned out that it was his wedding ceremony.. Thar was  within the space of six months that he broke up with me.”

That realisation hit Esohe hard. She was traumatised,  had a seizure and was convulsing at the same time. She fell off the bed and  hit her head on the ground.

That accident made her lose her memory . She could not  recognise family and friends again. “They called it acute loss of memory. It was a shock. I almost died of heartbreak because I never expected that a man would break my heart. And moreso, that was my first date. ‘

The miracle

Doctors said it would take years for her to recover. But then a miracle happened. In less than two years, she regained  her memory and took up a teaching job in a British school in Dubai

That was not all.  She had to still go back to India once a year for check up and was spending over a million in naira each time she went for the check up as a post kidney transplant patient..

The doctors in India were shocked to see her recover so fast and that she was doing a teaching job. This made them publish her story in an Indian Newspaper..

Favour in Dubai

Esohe was so favoured in the British school that within a space of three months she was heading a department of about 15 people of different nationals in the school  even when she did not have a second degree.

They  saw her commitment to work and her ingenuity. That was what earned her the position . Life began to look up for her and she became the breadwinner of her family back in Nigeria.

In the early years of her struggles with kidney disease   her father sold the family house just to take care of her. He even sold a tipper vehicle he was using for business.

But by the time Esohe, an indigene of Edo State started work in Dubai, she became so prosperous that she built a house for her parents and invested heavily in her family back home.

She became a popular face in Dubai according to her. At some point she decided to come back to Nigeria and went straight to University of Benin Teaching Hospital where she used to do her dialysis.

To her surprise,  many of her old friends that were doing dialysis together with her  before she travelled out of the country had died. Only about 20 percent of them were still living 

Kidney foundation

That was what made her start a foundation called, Eso Kidney Alive Foundation (EKA). “I believe my kidney is alive by the grace of God”. She affirmed..

The foundation is a non-profit organization focused on raising kidney disease awareness and supporting patients.
The launch of the foundation attracted big names in Edo State. The then Minister for Finance and then Governor of Edo State, Adams Oshiomhole took interest in her case.

She was able to support many kidney patients shortly after the launch. People thought she was free from kidney related issue. “They did not know I was still taking medication to keep the donated kidney functioning. But at that time, It was no longer about me. It was about others. ‘” she said

Another man proposed

Esohe continues her story, “The doctors have told me I was carrying my mother’s kidney and was taking strong medication everyday to make it work and  that I could not get pregnant with it. Men were always running from me especially African men when they hear this. But then it took me six years to recover from the first relationship that hit the wall”

After about four years on the teaching job in Dubai she decided to move on with her life and settle down with a man. That was when he  met a Dubai based Nigerian man from Nnewi who was was a taxi driver.

The man according to Esohe had vision,  drive and looked promising. They both came together and started a relationship she thought would lead to marriage only to be disappointed again.

What made it traumatic for her was that she invested heavily in this young man She built a house they hoped to live back in Nigeria when they marry. She also helped the man to build a a thriving business which she described as the biggest African shop in Dubai.

“Our business was doing well because I worked myself to the bones despite being sick to raise funds for the business. He was a good manager too. Today, he is one of the richest young men in Dubai”

Kidney failed, relationship crashed.

But Eso’he’s hope was dashed again when the kidney her mother donated packed up. This happened during the Covid-19 season and she had to begin a series of dialysis to stay alive.

It was both kidney failure and COVID attack. “It was the greatest tragedy of my life.’ she said adding that she had just one percent chance of survival.

The Nigerian man that wanted to marry her stayed with her for a while and gave some assistance. But at a point he took off. Ironically she had planned to go and introduce him to her parents in Nigeria when he said he was no longer interested in the relationship.

Unfortunately, Esohe was not a legal stakeholder in the man’s business despite investing so much in it. Her world was almost coming down again.

But unlike the first heartbreak,  she had learned to absorb shocks. She quickly put herself together and made up her mind not to allow any man cause her emotional trauma.

Self encouragement

She said, “I got to a point I had to talk to myself. If I die I lose. My parents are still alive. My siblings are still alive. I decided to be strong. When I talk to people, they say I do not look like what I am going through.”

While declaring that life is a script, she said, “We are all actors on the stage of life. But we are the ones that will determine if we will be weak actors,strong actors or inspirational actors. My father told me I am like an ocean, that no matter how many people drink from me, I won’t get dry. He encouraged me not to be bitter.”

Esohe affirmed she does not regret doing what  she did for the man who dumped her.

She stated, “My story is not to make women hate men.If you have the opportunity to help a man as a woman please do it.”

Journey to UK

Aa soon as it was confirmed her kidney was gone, she took a hard decision to resign from  her big job and left for the UK following doctors counsel.. it was believed she would get maximum care as a kidney patient through the country’s  health insurance scheme.

In the UK dialysis is free and the care she gets according to her is excellent. She has been in the UK for a couple of years now going through dialysis. But she is not broken.

Today, ESO says she has revived the foundation she started and has continued her support for kidney patients.in Nigeria despite waiting on the list for another kidney transplant.

She says she has been blessed to have a very supportive family. Her father has been her cheer leader Her mother has been marvellous.

Recalled the stepped on the soil of the UK, she said, it was the words of my father that echoed that echoed in my memory. I then prayed that this land will favour me. I am a kidney patient. I will be favoured in this land.”.

And truly, the land has been favouring her. She went back to school in the UK and came out with a First Class degree  despite the emotional trauma she had been through.

She was nominated for a couple of awards for her humanitarian  services. She works like any other person and even the company where she works presently   does not know she is going through a medical challenge because she works like any other person.

Love again

Ironically, she has found love again. This time, a Briton who has come to terms with her challenges and is ready to carry the cross with her. “I never believed any man could marry me again. Many of them come but leave as soon as they hear my  story. About 200 men have passed through my DM but none wants to stay. Even some white men too. But God has put a smile on my face again.

When I asked my fiance why he wants to be with me, he said he was inspired that I am a strong woman. He met me at my lowest but believed I was not at my lowest.
“He has been introducing me to his family and saying to them, that though I am down with kidney failure, yet I am inspiring people.”

His new lover according to Esohe is excited about the kind of person she is. “That is what is making him say, I die here. I will be with this woman. And I am so grateful to God.  I am getting married soon” she said with her face lit with joy

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