employee doesn’t know how long their work takes, coworker is addicted to their phone, and more

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. My employee doesn’t know how long their work takes

I have managed people for a handful of years, so not brand new but still green. I have recently have been stymied by one of my direct reports in general, particularly a series of questions about how to navigate their work. It is as if they are born anew on a regular basis. A recurring issue is that they don’t know how long various projects or project components will take. The work just … takes as long as it takes.

I understand no one can draw up a precisely accurate timeline, but part of work is figuring out how to get work done in a timely manner or on deadline. Our projects here are all variations rather than exact repetition, but the steps repeat. I simply do not know how to manage someone with this issue. It seems similar to the inability to recognize faces, or a lack of spatial awareness. Is this fixable? So far I have encouraged attending time management workshops and building in swing time to schedules. What is my role in helping them set and meet accurate deadlines?

There are other serious issues with their work too (unclear communicator, unable to work independently, don’t meet annual goals, and don’t complete day to day responsibilities). I am working on being very clear about what’s unacceptable but because of our employer’s policies, it will be some time before I can move them toward a PIP or firing, and meanwhile I want to make sure that I am providing an appropriate amount of support.

Well … if it were just an inability to estimate how long their work would take, that could be coachable. But combined with all the other issues you mentioned, this person just isn’t doing their job, and this is only one small piece of that — to the point that I doubt it’s a good investment of your time to do the sort of intensive coaching that I’d suggest if they were otherwise a decent employee. Instead, it sounds more likely that you’re going to need to let this person go, after following whatever policies your organization has in that regard.

If you wanted to try anyway, you could sit with them and walk through how you’d estimate the work involved, explaining your process out loud, and then ask prompting questions to help them go through that process on their own, and maybe dig into a completed project to draw out timelines for various components, and also explain that if they don’t know how long any given piece of work will take, they have no ability to plan out the interim milestones that need to be met to keep the work on track … but I’m really skeptical that it will solve whatever is going on here or that it would be a good use of your time.

2. My coworker is addicted to their phone

I have a coworker who appears to be addicted to their phone, and I’m not sure if/how to address it. When we work in the office together, we’ll be in the middle of a conversation, and (I think without them even realizing they’re doing it) they’ll pick up their phone and start scrolling Instagram, checking message apps, etc. — yes, while I’m in the middle of a sentence! We are frequently on Zoom calls where I see them begin to look down and very obviously check their phone. We’ll be in team meetings in person where they will clearly be scrolling Instagram in their lap, etc.

This person is a peer to me and we have the same supervisor. Otherwise they appear to be on top of their work. I am struggling, however, as I find it pretty rude to look at your phone for something non-work related while in a meeting while others are talking, and find it incredibly rude to start scrolling on your phone while in a 1:1 conversation with someone! Is this a “let it go” situation or perhaps a different approach whether in a 1:1 or group setting? Do I just let them continue to act like the rude, checked-out coworker they are appearing to me and let their supervisor address it if it’s a problem?

You don’t have the standing to address it when they’re doing it in group conversations that your manager is present for, but if they start looking at their phone while you’re talking one-on-one, you absolutely do! And it’s rude in either situation, but it’s far ruder when it’s just the two of you.

If they start scrolling their phone while you’re one-on-one, I’m a fan of pausing what you’re saying and asking, “Do you need a minute?” Sometimes that will be enough to jolt the person back into politer behavior, but if it keeps happening after that, you can also just stop talking and wait for them to realize that you’re waiting for their attention. Or you can just say directly, “If there’s something you need to deal with I’ll come back, but otherwise do you mind putting your phone down so we can finish up here?”

Also, for group situations, if it’s just a few of you (and not a huge meeting) and your manager isn’t around, since you’re peers you have standing to say, “Jane, do you mind not being on your phone while we’re hashing this out? It’ll be faster if we’re all paying attention.”

And if it ever happens at a meeting you’re running, feel free to ask everyone at the start to keep their phones put away.

3. Can “hurt feelings” be a performance measure?

My friend works for state government. Their boss said that if an employee says something that hurts another’s feelings, and it impacts their work, then “action will be taken.”

How realistic are hurt feelings as a performance/disciplinary measure? If you were a middle manager, how would you implement this? I have so many questions.

There’s probably more to it than that. Most likely the manager meant that your relationships with colleagues matter and if you talk to people in a way that harms those relationships, there will be repercussions to that. That’s a reasonable stance! It’s a way of saying, “Your performance is based on more than your literal work and includes how you interact with people; your colleagues need to be willing to approach you and work with you. If you manage those relationships in a way that decreases people’s willingness to do that, that’s a work problem.” (Think, for example, of a perfectly competent colleague who everyone tries to work around and not deal with because the person is a jerk.)

As for how you implement it, you make good working relationships with colleagues an explicit part of the role expectations and address it like any other performance issue when someone is falling short in that area. More here.

4. A bananas interview

Last, please enjoy this dispatch from a reader:

I’ve done a couple interviews with a company that’s based elsewhere in the country but has a satellite office where I live. It’s pretty small in manpower but does hundreds of millions in sales. I spoke with an external recruiter first and then the (fully remote) CMO last week, and the CMO conversation was really encouraging. Then he set me up yesterday to meet a same-level coworker at the office rather than on Zoom. From the get-go, it was just bananas. The highlight reel:

— I showed up at the address and it’s a condo. Not an office in a condo complex, a condo.
— The interviewer lets me in and tells me the CEO lived in the building and liked it there so much that he bought the unit below his and converted it into an office. (It was not converted, it’s a bunch of desks in the living room and bedrooms.)
— The 60-year-old CEO was on the patio in a T-shirt, sweats, and flip flops and, I come to find out later, was smoking a joint. He exclaimed that I “dressed up all nice for them!” I was wearing a business shirt, khakis, and sneakers. One of the other staff was wearing a black sleeveless undershirt.
— The interviewer offered me something to drink. I said I’d love a glass of water. CEO calls out, “Give him a beer!” The interviewer legit offers me a beer. I decline.
— The interviewer later tells me that the CEO starts drinking around 2:30 and often makes cocktails for the staff, who decline because they’re working.
— Remote work is not an option unless it’s “absolutely necessary” but they also hired a remote CMO and a remote contributor who lives in Tennessee. Not so strange per se, but it immediately clashed with what the CMO had told me about hybrid arrangements being possible.
— I’m told the CEO’s ethos is “planners stay poor, doers get rich.” Not great when he’s hiring for a strategy role!
— After the interview, we go back out to the patio to wrap up and the CEO, clearly under the influence at least a little, talks for five solid minutes about how great he and the company are and how he hires all-stars and whatever.
— The CEO said the two junior staff (one of whom is his son) often sleep in the beds at the office if they go out partying or whatever and don’t want to go all the way home. Like what? I show up at 8 am and my coworker is walking around hungover?
— Then he says, “Next steps, we’re going to circle the wagons and share some feedback, but I want to get some time on the calendar with you so I can give you the whole background on the company and my vision for the future. I’m going to the mountains tomorrow but we can probably do a Zoom meeting tomorrow or on the weekend more likely.” Uh … on my weekend? No.

Obviously I emailed the CMO this morning and diplomatically withdrew from the process citing a “culture fit at this stage in my career,” but I really hope he replies and asks me to elaborate because I have a feeling he doesn’t actually know.

Thanks for the years of advice and guidance and sheer morbid curiosity!

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