8 subtle traits of men who are seen as long-term partners, not just dates

Navigating the dating scene can be tricky. It’s one thing to find a guy who’s fun for a Friday night, but quite another to find someone who’s in it for the long haul.

The difference lies in subtle traits that separate the men who are seen as long-term partners, not just dates.

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen these traits firsthand. And, ladies, let me tell you – they’re not always what you’d expect.

In this article, I’m going to reveal the 8 subtle traits that set these men apart. So grab a cup of coffee and get comfy. This is one read you won’t want to miss out on.

1) Consistency

Let’s talk about a trait that creates a lasting impression.

It’s something we often overlook but it’s a key quality of men who are seen as long-term partners – consistency.

Consistency is the steady behavior that gives us a sense of security and trust. It’s in the little things – showing up when they say they will, remembering your coffee order, or making an effort to call even on busy days.

In the world of dating, it can be easy to get caught up in the grand gestures. The extravagant dates, the flowery words, but these can sometimes be fleeting.

Men who consistently show care and respect, who are reliable not just in their words but also in their actions, are the ones who stand out as potential long-term partners.

Remember, consistency is not about perfection. It’s about showing up and being present consistently. Just like a steady heartbeat in a relationship.

So ladies, keep an eye out for consistency. It’s a subtle trait but it speaks volumes about a man’s potential as a long-term partner.

2) Emotional intelligence

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen countless relationships thrive or break based on one key factor – emotional intelligence.

Men who are seen as long-term partners often possess a high level of emotional intelligence. But what does that mean exactly?

Emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as recognizing and empathizing with the emotions of others.

It’s about clear communication, active listening and the ability to handle disagreements in a mature manner.

If he can recognize when you’re having a bad day even before you say anything, or if he can express his feelings calmly without resorting to anger or withdrawal, these are good signs.

I’m reminded of a quote by the great Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The men who make us feel understood and valued are the ones we see as potential long-term partners.

Emotional intelligence might be subtle, but its impact on a relationship is profound.

3) Independence

Now, here’s a trait that might sound a bit contradictory at first – independence. But bear with me.

When we think about a long-term partner, we often imagine someone who will be by our side, supporting us, and sharing our lives.

And while all these are important, it’s equally crucial to have a partner who values his own independence and respects yours.

Independent men understand the importance of having their own interests, friendships, and time.

They encourage you to do the same. This balance creates a healthier relationship where neither party loses their individuality.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss the importance of maintaining your individuality and living a shared yet independent life.

So ladies, look for a man who values his independence as much as he respects yours. It’s an essential trait of a long-term partner, and an indicator of a healthy and balanced relationship.

4) Comfort with vulnerability

In a world that often equates masculinity with toughness and stoicism, here’s a trait that may seem counterintuitive: comfort with vulnerability.

Men who are seen as long-term partners are often those who are not afraid to show their softer side.

They’re comfortable expressing their feelings, discussing their fears, and opening up about their past.

They understand that being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength.

It takes courage to show your true self, to let someone else see your imperfections and insecurities.

If a man is willing to let his guard down and share his vulnerabilities with you, see it as a positive sign.

It shows he trusts you and is willing to build a deeper connection, two crucial elements for a lasting relationship.

Ladies, real strength lies not in hiding emotions but in the courage to express them.

5) Respect for boundaries

This next trait is a personal favorite of mine – respect for boundaries.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen how crucial it is to have a partner who understands and respects your personal boundaries.

Men who make great long-term partners are those who respect your space, your time, and your decisions.

They understand that “no” means “no”, and they don’t try to push or overstep those boundaries.

Respecting boundaries isn’t just about big things.

It’s also about respecting your time, understanding when you need some alone time, or not insisting on picking the movie every time you have a movie night.

If a man respects your boundaries, it shows he values you as an individual and cares about your comfort and happiness.

And that, ladies, is the kind of man who makes a great long-term partner.

6) Acceptance of imperfections

Alright, let’s get real for a minute.

Nobody’s perfect. We all have our quirks, flaws, and insecurities. And guess what? So does he.

The men who are seen as long-term partners are those who don’t just tolerate these imperfections, but truly accept them.

They see you, all of you – the good, the bad, and everything in between – and they still choose you.

These men understand that love isn’t about finding a perfect person, but about loving an imperfect person perfectly. They don’t expect you to change to fit their ideal image.

Instead, they embrace your uniqueness and love you for who you are.

Look for a man who accepts and loves your imperfections. Because in the end, it’s our flaws that make us beautifully unique.

7) Growth mindset

Having a growth mindset is a trait I deeply admire and value.

Men who are seen as long-term partners generally have a growth mindset.

They believe in the power of change, learning, and self-improvement. They’re not scared of challenges; instead, they see them as opportunities for growth.

These men understand that we’re all works in progress.

They’re committed to becoming better versions of themselves, and they inspire you to grow along with them.

Albert Einstein once said, “Once you stop learning, you start dying.” Men with a growth mindset live by this principle.

They’re not perfect, but they’re always striving to learn, grow, and improve.

So ladies, look for a man who embraces growth and change. It’s a clear sign he’s in it for the long haul.

8) Genuine friendship

Let’s end on a raw note, ladies.

Beyond the romance, the chemistry, and the passion, the men who are seen as long-term partners are those who can be your genuine friends.

These men enjoy your company beyond the dates and romantic getaways. They’re the ones you can laugh with over a silly joke, confide in when you’re feeling low, or even sit in comfortable silence with.

They’re the ones who know your favorite ice cream flavor, remember that movie you couldn’t stop talking about, and understand your eccentricities.

A man who can be your best friend is a man worth holding onto. Because at the end of the day, when the initial spark fades, it’s friendship that keeps the flame alive.

So look for a man who is not just your lover, but also your best friend.

It’s a sign of a deep connection that can stand the test of time.

Conclusion

Finding a long-term partner can feel like a daunting task. But remember, it’s about noticing these subtle traits that hint at a man’s potential for a lasting commitment.

From consistency and emotional intelligence, to genuine friendship and a growth mindset, these traits provide a foundation for a deep and fulfilling relationship.

To delve deeper into creating healthy relationships, I invite you to read my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It provides valuable insights into maintaining your individuality while building a shared life.

Remember, ladies, the journey of love isn’t about finding the perfect man, but about recognizing the one who is perfect for you.

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