“You are still My son”: Rejected by his parents and almost sold as a baby, he found comfort in his Father’s embrace

When Paul Quek was an infant, his father planned to sell him to pay off his debts.

“My father was a gambler and alcoholic. He lost a large sum of money due to his gambling addiction,” said the 23-year-old Malaysian.

When his mother uncovered the plan, she took Paul and left him in the care of his paternal grandparents. But while his grandmother protected him as best as she could, the young boy still suffered from his father’s abuse.

“My dad loved to drink, and when he got drunk, he would turn terribly violent,” recalled Paul. 

When he was in kindergarten, he became partially deaf in his left ear. His father, in a drunken rage, had struck him on the side of his head simply because he was annoyed by his son’s crying.

“My two younger sisters bore the brunt of his rage and were horrifically abused. He would make them kneel on beer caps and push their bodies down so the sharp edges would break into their skin,” he said.

From one home to another

When Paul turned nine, his grandparents placed him in a children’s home in Johor Bahru as they could no longer afford to raise him. After several months, however, they discovered he was not attending school there.

“They brought me home, and then my grandfather’s friend, who was a member of a church committee, made a suggestion that changed my life. He advised my grandparents to place me in Rumah Ozanam,” Paul said.

Rumah Ozanam is a children’s home founded by the Society of St Vincent de Paul, an international Catholic lay foundation committed to serving the poor.

It is located in Petaling Jaya, a four-hour drive away from his grandparents.

When Paul first found out about his impending move, he thought his grandparents no longer wanted him in their lives. Hurt, broken and afraid, he resisted going.

“I had only known rejection by my parents. After my mother sent me to my grandparents, she did not play any part in my life again. When my dad told her years later that I was in Rumah Ozanam, she denied ever having a son,” he said.

Even though it was a difficult choice to send their grandson so far away, Paul’s grandparents knew they had to give Paul his best chance at a brighter future. So, at 10 years old, they moved Paul to the new home.

Convicted by God’s love

At Rumah Ozanam, spiritual disciplines were integrated into daily life. It was also a safe space for the young boy to wrestle with his faith and broken family.

When he was living with his Catholic grandparents, they would bring Paul to attend Sunday School and mass. Yet all those years, Jesus to him had been nothing more than a faraway figure. “Growing up, I prayed all the time, but back then I didn’t think God truly listened,” said Paul.

But in Rumah Ozanam, as he learned about this Saviour who gave up everything for him, Paul’s heart began to love what his mind was starting to know.

In 2020, the pandemic struck. It was also the year Paul turned 18 and had to transition out of the children’s home. He returned to his grandparents’ house in Johor for a year.

His grandmother was elated to have Paul back, as it had been difficult for her to part with him. With lockdown restrictions in place, his father could not return to visit.

However, while it was a seemingly peaceful time, Paul wrestled internally with the pain of his past. Unable to work or move around, he struggled with unresolved trauma and a lack of purpose.

“I lost my connection with Jesus then. The hurts and hopelessness were great. When I came back to Kuala Lumpur in 2021 for my studies, I tried several churches, but I did not visit any of them more than four times. I just could not sense God’s presence,” he said.

When a friend and former children’s home resident invited Paul to his church, he agreed. Last year, he joined one of their camps and had an encounter with God.

“I was at a low point in my life when I went to camp, depressed and fighting dark thoughts. When the pastors opened the altar for prayer, I didn’t want to go because, deep inside, I felt guilty. I knew I had turned my back on God,” he admitted.

But as he struggled in his seat, he heard God speak: “No matter what you’ve done wrong, I forgive you. You are still My son.”

When he finally went forward for prayer, Paul felt God’s love wash over him and a tangible feeling of his burdens being lifted.

“From that day on, I felt happier. The dark clouds in my mind cleared up. My thoughts were transformed,” the young man said. “I realised how much my Heavenly Father wanted to connect with me, and how long He had been waiting for me. His love had convicted me.”

Experiencing God as a Father who has compassion (John 15:9) on his children was unfamiliar and deeply moving for Paul, who had only known his earthly father to be erratic, quick-tempered, cruel and unforgiving.

A heart for broken children

With a newfound love for God, Paul began attending service regularly, keen to know more about Jesus and the Word. He also plugged himself into his church community, where he found acceptance, encouragement and a sense of belonging.

Through the friend who had invited him to church, he also reconnected with Gillian Chong, a counsellor who reaches out to at-risk youth from children’s homes.

Paul had first met Sister Gillian, as he fondly calls her, when he was 11 years old and living in Ruman Ozanam. Her non-governmental organisation (NGO), Agape Vision, works closely with children’s homes and youth-focused organisations in Malaysia, running education and empowerment programs.

Paul with Sister Gillian, co-founder of Agape Vision and a trained counsellor with a heart for at-risk youths, especially those from children’s homes.

After reconnecting with Gillian, Paul joined one of Agape Vision’s programmes in May 2025 and travelled to Sabah with her and several other youth. For a week, they worked with a local NGO to serve stateless children in Kota Kinabalu.

“It was my first expedition trip, and it was eye-opening. I realised there are so many children who need help, and that today, I’m so much better off than many others out there. Now, I want to help children all over the world,” he said.

He is inspired by Sister Gillian, whom he sees as a mentor and spiritual sister, when he sees how she lives her life in service of others. Every Sunday, she spends three to four hours on the road picking up youth for church, then taking them for a hearty lunch before sending them back to their homes.

She has been a living expression of God to many of these youths, and a reminder that no one is too broken for Jesus to heal and restore, said Paul.

The young man is currently a trainer at TOC Automotive College and has also started his own business selling specialised fuel. He fell in love with motorsport and racing after driving his first go-kart at 12 years old, during a camping trip in Ipoh that had been sponsored by a local college.

At 12, Paul discovered his love for racing and all things fast after a sponsored trip to a go-kart circuit. It has fueled his passion for motorsport technology.

“My dream is to own and manage a motorsport team that competes on an international level. But more than that, I want to use this team to help other children with dreams like mine,” added Paul, who holds a Diploma in Motorsport Technology.

Made for a purpose

While he is not in touch with his mother and rarely sees his father, who has yet to overcome his drinking habit, Paul says God has empowered him to forgive them.

Today, Paul can speak about his father without bitterness or spite. He knows he is still healing from his past, but is grateful that God is journeying with him.

Paul (left) working as a pit crew member for the S1K Race with the Axwerkz Singapore team.

Despite his tumultuous upbringing, having a relationship with Jesus has changed his life, he testified, adding that Jesus has given him hope, identity and healing.

“To the many out there who have suffered like me, get to know God. If I hadn’t come to know Him, I’d likely still be lost, depressed and purposeless,” he said.

“Although I don’t have a wonderful life story, I know that because I was born, my Father in heaven made me for a purpose. My past doesn’t have to define me, because God has given me a purpose: to help others like me.”

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